I was literally up a tree when things started to go a little odd. Normally I'd have been at the football but I'd twisted my ankle during the week and the doctor ruled me unfit to play. I could have gone along and watched the match anyway but decided not to bother as the result was a foregone conclusion. We were going to be creamed so badly that we'd probably fall right off the ladder rather than moving down a rung. Of course it would have been different if I was playing. That's because I would be getting some exercise while we were creamed. I'm not known as the best player in the competition, or even in our team.
One talent I do have is horticulture. Even the weeds in my garden are bigger and healthier than anyone else's weeds. I was taking advantage of the free afternoon to do some careful pruning which brings me back to being up a tree.
My parents were away for the afternoon which was a decided plus. I didn't have to worry about my mother coming out and asking me to be careful and I didn't have to persuade my father that no, I'd be better off without his deadly help. Would you believe he once pulled up a hundred newly sewn seedlings think they were weeds?
I will admit that my little brother was at home but I didn't have to worry about him wanting to help me. That would have involved doing some work and work was a four letter word.
How to describe my brother? Eighteen physically and intellectually, while still around thirteen emotionally. People mature at different rates, girls generally faster than boys. Mike was just a little slow to mature. I had no doubt that he'd grow up to be a fine young man, but he was running an extreme risk of fratricide at times.
So that was the situation when Sharon rolled up, me up a tree, parents elsewhere, and Mike lolling around inside doing nothing.
Sharon is Mike's girlfriend. According to him they spend all their time together rolling around naked on a bed. I took this with a pinch of salt as Sharon lived with her parents, even though she's eighteen, and as far as I knew they were always around, preventing any bedroom antics. I was willing to wager that Mike was still a virgin. Not so sure about Sharon. I was also willing to wager that Mike has been doing his best to talk her into bed.
Now it was typical for Sharon to wander around to the back door, bang on it, and go straight inside. That's what she started to do today. The difference was that just as she turned the corner into the backyard she stopped, looked around, didn't see me, and reached up her skirt and shimmied out of her panties, sticking them in her purse.
My immediate thought was good luck Mike, it seems that your luck is really in today. My second thought was that Mike was my younger brother and I should look after him. Maybe I should go inside and make sure that he was OK. The thought was father to the deed and I slipped out of the tree and headed towards the house.
I was wondering what Mike would do. Would he try to get me out of the house, try to persuade Sharon to go elsewhere with him, or just ignore me and drag her off to the nearest bed? He did seem to think that a bed was required.
I walked into the house and headed towards the front room, which was where Sharon would find Mike. I was willing to lay odds that when she'd called out all he did was yell back instead of getting off his blot and going to meet her.
I approached the front room rather cautiously, not wanting them to spot me before I'd sized up the situation. When I was in a position to see in I could see that Mike was still comfortably lolling back on the couch. Like I said, emotionally immature. Didn't the idiot know that if your girl comes around and you've got the house to yourself you should at least be kissing her as soon as she was within arms-reach?
I couldn't hear what they were saying but I did hear Sharon giggle and flip the front of her dress up, promptly letting is subside back down again. I guess Mike must have seen what she wanted him to see as the result was little short of electrifying. Mike seemed to spasm and then he jump to his feet and bolted, nearly running through me in his haste.
My instant reaction was to think, 'You fucking moron.' I mean, if there's an entry in Wikipedia for the world's biggest idiot then it was about to be updated with Mike's picture. My next reaction was to think of how Sharon must be feeling and I walked into the front room to make sure she was all right.
"Sharon," I said cheerfully as I strolled in. "How's it going?"
Very badly if the look on her face was any indication. She looked as though she was yay close to bursting into tears.
"Oh, Paul. I didn't know you were home," she muttered.
"I often am," I told her. "I sort of live here you know."
"I meant that I thought you'd be off playing football," she said, a touch of frost in her voice.
"And normally you'd be right," I said agreeably, "but I've got a slightly broken leg and I can't play until it's better."
She looked quite startled, not having heard about my grievous injury.
"What happened? Shouldn't you at least be on crutches? You can't just go walking about if your leg's broken."
"Yes, well it's more my ankle than my leg," I admitted but the look on her face said that this was not an improvement in my situation.
"Maybe not quite a break. More of a sprain, really."
"So you have a sprained ankle, not a broken leg?"
"Well, sort of. Maybe you could call it a twisted ankle and the doc didn't want me doing anything strenuous for a day or so."
"Oh. When did that happen?"
"A couple of days ago, but the doc felt the team could afford to do without my talents so I'd have a chance to mend properly."
"From what I've heard your absence will probably improve the team," she muttered. I don't think I was supposed to hear that comment.
