The night had finally arrived. It was supposed to be a big fundraiser for a group that my friend's band had been invited to play. Since I had nothing else going on that night, I decided that I would tag along. Unfortunately, that meant I had to wear a suit and tie, which I absolutely abhor, but I also got to wear a mask which hid my identity
With the suit jacket covering my tattoos, and the mask covering the most distinguishing parts of my face, I walked into the room and immediately wished I hadn't. It was fucking wall to wall people. With everyone wearing masks, you had no idea of who was who. I wandered around until I found the most important thing: the bar. They didn't want people wandering around with their hands full of booze, so I ordered two and slung one back at the bar.
I set out on a mission to find the stage, but that was not going to be easy considering all the people. So I took a detour and headed out onto the balcony for a smoke. I took in the amazing view of the golf course, as I sucked in that sweet poison. I had hoped that making an appearance here would lead to a memorable story, but so far, all I had gotten was stressed the fuck out.
Right about that time, I get slammed into the metal railing surrounding the balcony. Nothing like having metal rammed into the bones of your hips to wake you up. As I turn around to see what the hell is going on, a short dark haired girl starts apologizing profusely saying that she thinks she accidentally spilled her drink on me. I tell her not to worry about it as we both pull out cigarettes and watch the commotion. She introduces herself with her real name, I do not, and she asks who I'm there with. I tell her that I'm alone for the evening and she informs me that she is as well.
I try to take her in without her noticing. She has massive tits that her dress is having serious issues containing and a nice ass. The dress is barely covering the gifts that God gave her, and I was hoping that this would be a good sign of things to come. As we sit there chatting, I see her coming in the distance, like the invasion of Afghanistan. My friend's wife is about to ruin my evening.
How she knew it was me, I have no idea, but I tell my newly acquired friend to give me a minute and try to catch the ambush before it takes place. Unfortunately, I wasn't quick enough, as she blurts out my name and asks if I've seen James. I tell her no, and quickly turn around to attempt to talk my way out of this, but she is gone. I audibly groan as I'm presented with my new task, which has nothing to do at all with getting what I want.