My Desire

This story came about because of an overwhelming desire to write a story for you. I don't know if it was because you needed it or I needed it, but here it is.

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It had been a long 2 years, 3 months, and 1 week, but who was counting, right?

It always amazed me how many things brought you to my mind. Sunflowers, the color blue (your eyes and your favorite color), Panda Express, Lincoln Mark LT's, even Pizza Hut (our first dinner). I have wondered so many times in the past years how much I bring them into my life, or how much you send them into my life to remember you by.

It was Friday night of a hellish week and I was really looking forward to a long hot bath and lots of sleep. Two days before I had to face work again and I was going to take full advantage of the quietness of my apartment since my son was at his dad's house until Sunday night.

I began the climb of the two flights of stairs up to my very cozy apartment. I love the southern exposure I have that looks out on the hills. There are no streets or houses to look at. I always feel like I am living in the fields of Kansas with the green rolling hills as far as the eye can see when I look out my windows. Just another reminder of you, I think solemnly as I get to the second floor stairs.

I can hear someone pacing on the third floor but don't pay much attention since my neighbor is a bit of a social butterfly and always has people coming and going. I'm mentally undressing and drawing the bath as I reach the top of the stairs. I finally glance at the person standing there, and it's you.

You looked the same as the day I last saw you. You have a little more sadness around your eyes, but overall you look so good to me. Hope has kept me waiting for you all this time. I am having a hard time keeping that hope from flying free as I look at you. You smile at me and extend your hand with a bouquet of daisies and sunflowers wrapped in yellow and blue ribbons. I smile and smell the sweet aroma of the flowers, and amazingly enough wonder where in the world you found sunflowers in December. I begin to say hello but you hold up your hand to silence me.

You get down on your knees, touch my hand, caressing your thumb back and forth on the back of my hand, and kissed it.

You said, "First, I want to say thank you, in person. That was the last promise I gave you and I wanted it to be the first one I kept with you. Secondly, I know that our history has not been that great for you. You have suffered so much pain at my hands. I want to tell you how very sorry I am to have caused you that pain. I beg you to forgive me for not picking you when I knew I should have all along. I was afraid I wouldn't live up to what you thought I was. I had promises to keep, but they are now fulfilled. I want to make promises to you, if you'll allow me, and I want to keep those promises, above all others in my life."

I began to cry the second you got down on your knees. After you stopped speaking, I realized you were waiting on my reply. I looked at your much larger hand still holding mine and felt how cold your hand was. You obviously had been standing outside for a long time waiting on me. With your back injuries, you should not have been standing in the cold, but you didn't want to take the chance of missing me. I looked into your beautiful blue eyes and saw that you were crying too. I could read in your body language of slumped shoulders, frowning mouth, and overall dark aura, you thought I was going to say no, because I was taking so long to answer you.

I smiled and said, "I was about to have dinner and take a bath, would you care to join me?"

I saw the complete disbelief in your eyes. "Could I have heard her correctly? Did she just invite me in? How can she be so full of love for me after everything I have done?" I saw all of these thoughts flash in your eyes. I laughed and pulled you up onto your feet. I turned around, transferring the flowers to the arm of the hand that you were still holding so I could unlock the door.

I walked into my apartment and pulled you into the warm, inviting heat. I dropped my bag, kicked off my shoes, pulled off my coat and put the flowers gently down on the dining room table. You still held my hand in yours. I looked down at our hands and smiled. We released each other's hand to take our coats off. I turned around and held you in my arms the way I have been wanting to for 2 years, 3 months, and 1 week (really much longer than that). After hugging for what seemed like an hour, you pulled away and looked at me.

"How can you accept me into your life so easily after everything that happened?" You asked.

With a deep knowledge of love and understanding, I looked you in the eye and said, "Because I have loved you since the moment I met you 14 years ago in that clinic. When you walked into the clinic, my world shifted. I felt I had known you forever before I even spoke to you. I convinced the girls at the clinic to let me do all of your treatments. After speaking to you and working on you, I knew we would always be in each other's lives. Your soul spoke to mine in ways I'm even now still figuring out. That's why I gave you my number in that silly birthday card. I wanted to know you more. The short amount of time we were together has kept me going all of these years. I have loved you since day one, and I still do. No matter what has happened between then and now, the fact that you are here now, is all I need to know. You being here now, at this moment, means I get to be in your life, until the day I die, right?"

You got down on your knees again, hugged me, running your large hands up and down my back, and said, "Yes. That's why I've come to you now. The divorce was hell but it's over with and I spent some time finding myself and asking how I wanted my life to be. The answer kept coming back to you. You are who I want in my life. Your beautiful heart and love has always been the lighthouse beacon for me through the fog of my life."

I pull you up again from your knees, smiled, and laid my hands gently on your face. "I knew you would come to me, I just had to wait." I said. "Now let's have dinner."

After a long dinner filled with touching, loving words, caresses, and kisses it was time to relax in that hot bath I had been fantasizing about. You sat on the couch in front of the fireplace as I went into the bathroom. You were still in shock that I not only wanted to see you again, but that I had loved you for years without hearing from you.

I walked into the bathroom to start the bath. I have a huge soaking tub that will easily fit both of us, with some imaginative positioning. I start the hot water and put in the honeysuckle bubble bath. I light the many candles around the tub and turn off the overhead light. When the tub is full, I walk back to the living room and pull you up from the couch.

"Will you take a bath with me?" I asked.

"I am honored that you want me to." You say.

We walk into the bathroom hand and hand. After stepping up onto the tub, I begin to kiss you. Your back, I know is really bothering you from standing in the cold for so long. As I slowly kiss your lips, I reach down to unbutton your shirt. I delight in the feel of your lips against mine. I move my lips back and forth against yours, enjoying the softness of my lips contrasted with the slight stubble you have.

Because you are so tall, you have a lot of buttons on your shirt, and I continue to kiss you as I undo each one of them. As the shirt separates, I glide my fingers up your stomach and chest, over your shoulders, and down your arms. Your shirt falls to the floor and I begin to massage your arms and neck, all the while kissing you. I reach into the waist of your pants and pull up your undershirt. Unfortunately we have to break the kiss so your shirt can go over your head. As soon as it passes your lips, I kiss you again, leaning into your body. I step off of the tub and undo your shoes, taking one off then the other, followed by your socks. I massage your feet as well, just a little bit to ease some of the shooting pain I know you are feeling. I kiss both of your feet when skin is revealed.

I stand up and undo your pants, sliding my hand into the waist again to follow the pants down to the floor. As I pass your knees, I kiss each one while looking at you up your body. I again massage your legs as I work up your body. I stand up again and put my fingers in the waist band of your underwear. I can clearly see that you're very excited. I pull your underwear down so that you are completely naked in front of me.

"You are so beautiful to me." I whisper.

"I am so not beautiful, but I appreciate your compliment." You say smiling.

"I see your heart and soul, remember. I see your beauty." I smile and laugh. "Now, it's your turn to undress me!"

Because of our height difference of 1.5 feet, I stand up on the tub again so you don't have to kneel. You begin by pulling my socks off. You kneel anyways so you can kiss my feet and indulge in one of your naughty kinks, which I had hoped you would do. You gently take one of my big toes into your mouth and suck on it. With each suction motion of your mouth, I begin to moan. You are the ONLY person who has ever done this to me, and I realized a long time ago that I love it! You release one toe and go to the other big toe. You begin sucking on the other toe and I can feel a tingling sensation running up and down my spine.

You release my toe and stand up to undo my pants. You skim down my legs with your fingers pushing my pants down. You kiss my knees as well and my stomach just above my panties. Then you stand up and take my sweater off, slowly running your fingers from my waist to my shoulders and then up my arms. You stand up as you move up my body. With my arms above my head, I lean into your body again, finally feeling your skin against mine. I sigh because of the explicit wonder of having you in front of me. I have been dreaming of feeling your skin with my own for so many years. This is heaven for me.

You pull me off the tub so I am standing in front of you. You kiss me deeply and then step back so you can see me in my yellow bra and blue panties. You raise your eyebrows at me because of the mixing of yours and my favorite colors.

"You are always on my mind." I say to your unasked question.

You turn me around so my back is facing you. You kiss my shoulders and neck as you trail your fingers down my back to undo the snap on my bra and it falls away. You adoringly run your hands up my back and over my shoulders, down over my nipples and breasts. You reach down my body, bending me at the waist, to pull down my panties. You run your fingers up my legs from my ankles to my thighs as your very hard cock is cradled in my butt cheeks. You move your hands to the outside of my thigh and behind me to caress and massage my butt cheeks with your hands and kiss my back from my neck to my waist running your hands up and down the back of my legs.

I step away from you to put some space between our bodies. I pull you towards the tub and have you get in first. You sit in the hot water relaxing. I know how much your back is hurting and I want to ease your pain. You close your eyes and let out a huge sigh that tells me you were very worried about this evening and didn't know which way it would go. I sit on the side of the tub, scooping water over your shoulders and running my fingers through your hair, helping you to relax. I watch your face relax in the candlelight and wait for the last bit of unease to leave your body.

Once I feel you relax, I step into the tub with you. You open your eyes and watch my body as I lower myself into the water. I am sitting opposite you, with my bottom where your feet are. I love watching your face when I pull one foot into my lap and begin to massage your foot. You do the same with my foot. After relieving the tension in one foot, I move on to the other foot. You do the same with mine. There are no words to be said, we simply are in the moment of touching each other and relaxing in the bath.

When the bath water cooled, I partially drain the tub and add more hot water and bubbles. At this point I turn around and snuggle my bottom into the apex your legs, to be enveloped by your body and scent. You sit up a little so you can lean forward and put your arms around my body. I lean back into your chest and just breathe you in. The feeling of your arms around me is all I have been dreaming of for so long.

I close my eyes and enjoy feeling your breath on my neck. You begin to kiss my neck and run your fingers over my shoulders, down my arms, to hold my hands. I snuggle closer into you and fold your hands across my chest. I'm in no hurry to do much more, so I continue to savor you being so close to me. I know you want me to turn my head to kiss you, but I simply want to be cherished and held by you. You whimper when you get the point that I am just enjoying you holding me. You want more, I want more, but I want this to be slow.

After the water is cooled again, we get out. You stand up and grab a towel. As I step out of the tub, you hold my hand, kissing my fingertips. I stand on the mat, and you use the towel to wipe the water from my body. When I am dry, I grab a dry towel, and dry your body. In the warm cocoon of the bathroom, you put your hand on the back of my neck, raise your other hand up to my cheek and deeply kiss me, pouring as much love and relief as you can into the motion. You want me to know how much the easy acceptance into my life means to you. As if I can read your mind, I giggle and say, "I know."

I step away to apply lotion on my body. You watch me, enthralled, as I glide the lotion along my legs from my foot up my calf, to my thigh, moving along to my stomach and breasts. Now on to my arms, from my fingers up to my shoulders, my fingers glide. I step within your reach and ask you to put some on my back. I can see you in the mirror as your eyes dilate with pleasure at my request. You put lotion on your very large hands and begin moving up and down my back, down over my butt, and up again, massaging as you go. I lean back against you and you look at me in the mirror. I can feel your hard cock in the middle of my back and I wriggle a bit to give you some friction. I smile at you in the mirror when you groan your pleasure at the sensation.

"Would you like some lotion now?" I ask.

"Yes, but only if you put it on me." You smile.

I kneel in front of you and begin at your feet, working up your legs to your thighs, running my fingers laden with lotion along your skin. You shiver as I come every closer to your cock. I am watching your face and you see the mischief in my eyes and smile. I stand up and move to your stomach, rubbing lotion across your stomach and up your chest. I move behind you and rub lotion into the huge expanse of your back as well, kissing your back while I work the lotion into your skin. I step up on the tub again so I can reach your shoulders and arms. I love how much taller you are than me.

I knead your shoulders and neck feeling more tension release from you. I step down from the tub and move in front of you to get lotion on your forearms and hands. I continue to watch your face, and at some point you closed your eyes because of the pleasure of my hands on your body. When I wrap my hands around your cock, your eyes fly open.

I begin to move my hand up and down very slowly on the shaft of your cock. I have dreamt of you for so long that I am almost afraid to start down this road. I feel your pulse in the large vein on the underside of your cock. I glide my hands from the base slowly up to the tip. I look at my hands as I get to the tip and see you have a drop of precum at the mouth. I lower my head to lick that bead of moisture from your skin. You moan and grab my head with your big hands.

You taste so wonderful, like my first drink of water after roaming in a desert for months. I run my tongue around the head, remembering the feel of your skin in my mouth, and move my hands back down your shaft. I repeat the same steps a few times and you begin to growl in your throat because it feels so good. When you moan again, I open my mouth and run my tongue down the bottom side of your shaft and envelop you in the warmth and wetness of my mouth.

I am only able to take about 2/3 of you in my mouth but you seem pleasantly surprised that I am able to take so much of you. You start moving my head by pulling back and forth on my hair, to help me find the rhythm that you want. Each downward thrust of my head, I am able to take a little more of you, which surprises both of us. You release my hair when I am moving in the rhythm you like, and I release your shaft from my grasp and grab your hands to put them back on my head.

I love having you control the rhythm and depth. You begin moving my head faster and faster and I can tell by your cock getting even bigger that you are close to cumming. A couple of more pumps and licks and you explode inside my mouth. Your hands hold my head still for a moment, but then you push my head even closer to your body. I take even more of you, close to all. I really love that you pushed my head to take more of you. I swallow as you continue to cum in my mouth, each movement of my throat coaxing a little more out of you.

When you stop convulsing, I pull my mouth off your shaft, swallow again, and go right back onto your shaft, all the way to the end. You are losing some girth so I am able to take all of you with no problem. I hold you in my mouth until you are completely flaccid. I pull my mouth off of your shaft and stand up. I smile sweetly up at you and run my fingers down your arm to your hands. Our fingers entwine as I walk backwards out of the bathroom. I begin kissing you again.

Fourteen years is too long to be away from your heart. I want to lay next to you, having your skin on mine. I have a hunger burning in my eyes that you interpreted correctly. We haven't nearly finished and by the time we are finished, we both won't be able to walk. I walk to the bed and drop one hand free. As I get within distance of the bed, I climb on, pulling you on top of me. I lay there, being pinned by your body, feeling completely happy.

Your skin moving on mine is heaven to me. I have lain awake many nights dreaming of this exact moment. You begin moving your hands up and down my body. I can feel you getting hard again between our bodies. I'm ready to go, but you pull away.

You look into my eyes and smile as you say, "You are capable of a love deeper than I ever imagined and you chose me to offer it to. I am in awe and bewilderment that such a thing could exist and it would be for me. It is elating and prideful yet humbling and rich in its appreciation."

I smile with you as you repeat the same words you said to me the last time we spoke. I have longed to hear your sweet-twangged voice for too many years.

"Thank you for coming to me now. I love you." I say as I slide my fingers down your chest and spread my legs a little wider. I'm hoping that you will slide in me at my silent request. When you don't, I partially sit up and begin kissing your neck. My hands begin to roam down your body, remembering you, all of you. My legs wrap around your thighs and I rock my hips so that your cock begins to work its way into me. I want you buried deep inside me. You chuckle and pull away again.

"I have been dreaming about you squirting on me since you told me you could do that. Tell me how to do it." You shyly smile and say.

I lay back on the king-sized bed and spread my legs wide. I look down my body at you, lay my fingers on my pussy, and say, "Simple: lick me gently."

You raise your eyebrow at me in disbelief that it would be so easy. You position your head between my legs. I know it won't take long at all to squirt because I am dripping wet already. You gently nuzzle my pussy lips and take a deep breath. You begin by gently licking my lips and getting a taste of me. You moan when my juice passes your lips and that's all I need for the first round of squirting to happen. I can tell I surprise you by your wide eyes when the fluid is propelled from my pussy onto your lips.