"I'm disappointed in you, Violet." My mother had a gift for ruining beautiful things. "Your father and I have slaved to give you every possible opportunity in life, and here you are throwing your life away on some..." She threw an arm out in Brian's direction with a sneer on her lip, "Some hoodlum."
"Mother, please," my voice was broken, and I couldn't bear to look up at her, let alone him. My world was quickly going up in flames, and I was standing there paralyzed.
"Don't 'please' me. You know exactly what you're doing. You're too old for this kind of rebellion."
Brian shifted, dislodging George, who was rubbing up against his leg. I knew what he was waiting for, but how could I challenge her on this? On anything? He didn't understand the dynamic between us, he didn't understand, but he would soon.
We'd woken up in a beautiful haze, and we'd made what felt like love and not sex. It scared and excited me. That had all crashed and burned the minute my mother knocked on the door to invite me to Sunday brunch. Now she was standing here, ruining everything like she always did.
"I can't tell you how disappointed I am right now," she sighed, and I heard the rattle of her earrings as she shook her head. "I expect more from you, Violet. You're going to have to explain yourself. This is why you broke up with Michael isn't it? And why things didn't work out with Andrew?"
"Mother," I tried again.
Across the room, George gave an unhappy mewl as Brian reached for his jacket. "I'm going to go," he said.
"Brian," I called out, glancing up for the first time. The look on his face caused a fist to clamp around my heart.
"I'm not done with you, Violet," my mother said. That was code for, 'don't you dare go after him.'
"Don't bother, Violet," the words were bitter, laced with disappointment, and I had no idea what to say. "I'd like to say it was a pleasure meeting you," he said to my mother. I almost laughed at that.
"Seriously, Violet, what the hell are you thinking?" She carried on for at least thirty minutes after he left, but I couldn't for the life of me remember what she said. Let's just say it revolved around me, throwing all my education away on a pathetic career that will get me nowhere. My slovenly appearance and ridiculous cartoon character fashion sense. Oh, yeah, let's not forget my soon to be drying up ovaries, and my sister with her successful lawyer husband, two kids, one dog and a white picket fence.
Basically, to sum it up in three words, I'm a disappointment.
Meanwhile, during her tirade, the only thing I could think about was Brian, and just how close we'd gotten to a real relationship. Maybe now he'd understand why I kept him at arm's length, maybe he wouldn't hate me. Maybe he would, maybe he'd never speak to me ever again. That thought made me sick to my stomach.
"You're coming with me and we're going to go and talk to your father. I'm tired of this." My mother turned around and shooed George away with an angry shake of her foot. For me it was the final straw.
"No." My voice wasn't strong but the word was said with finality.
"What did you say?" She turned back to give me the evil eye.
"I'm not going home to see dad and I'm not going to do this anymore."
"What on earth do you mean, 'you're not going to 'do this' anymore'?"
"I mean, I'm tired of this mom. I get it, you're unhappy with the choices I've made and the way I live my life and that's fine. I'm never going to be what you want me to be." I didn't wait for the response I could see brewing. "I love you mom, but you need to leave."
"You're not going after that man."
"Whatever I do it's none of your business."
"Your father will hear about this."
"God I hope so."
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The bar wasn't open, but the door was unlocked and that was all I needed. The first person I saw was the pixie-like bartender good old Charlie had a crush on. She took one look at me, smiled and pointed at the door marked 'employees only'.
Honestly, I had no idea if this was the right thing to do. If I was him, I'd never want to see me again. My mother had that effect on people, but whether it was the right thing or not I was here and there was no turning back
Brian's back was to me, so I got a good look at him. He wasn't as dolled up as he was the night before, but he still looked good enough to eat. His dark jeans accentuated all the parts I liked, and the t-shirt stretched across his wide shoulders made me think about hugging him...not sex with him, just hugging him.
