I work in IT. I was at the office one fine morning when a car drove into the office. Through the wall. Because of the amount of equipment we had the room was climate controlled with no windows so we didn't even get a hint of what was coming. One minute I was sitting at my desk, staring at a screen, and the next me and my desk were jammed hard up against a wall, staring at the grill of a big old car.
Turns out it was a 1970 Dodge Charger with very bad brakes. Big enough and mean enough to demolish the wall and a couple of expensive servers. Fortunately we had backups of everything via top-notch cloud facilities, so the accident wasn't going to impact the work too badly. Not that I was worried about that at the time.
Selfish of me, I know, but my prime concern was what felt like two tons of car and desk trying to compress me into a space in which I could not fit. Emergency service arrived quickly and removed the damned car and I found I had sufficient strength to shift the remains of the desk.
I bade farewell to my fellow employees as I was carted off to hospital for a check-up, grateful for the fact that I was being checked up (I felt like crap) and even more grateful that I wasn't going to be the one who had to sort out the mess.
The doctors poked and probed and took x-rays and ultra sounds and then assured me that I was fine apart from some bruising. Okay, considerable bruising, and I'd strained my ribs and a number of ligaments. I'd be fine as long as I didn't do anything strenuous for the next few days. They happily gave me a certificate telling me to stay home for the next few days which I just as happily accepted. It was paid time off, after all.
I called my boss to let him know the state of affairs, refused his request that I come in anyway, promised to fill out a stack of paperwork as soon as possible, and headed home. (Apparently there was insurance paperwork, Workers Compensation paperwork, HR paperwork, and sundry other paperwork, all of which would probably take a day to fill out.)
I was currently staying at a boarding house. There were half a dozen of us there, four girls, me, and Brian. All of us worked or attended college and we tended to have different hours, rarely all of us being home at the same time. I assumed that the house would probably be empty when I got home so I entered the house in my normal carefree manner.
What I didn't know was that Janice, one of the inmates, ran yoga classes in the park, one of which was currently in session. Unfortunately, due to inclement weather the class had been moved inside. There was a very large front room and the class was taking place there. What was even more unfortunate was the fact that the women currently taking the class were feeling, ah, adventurous you might say.
Apparently, seeing that they were inside and quite private, one of them had raised an unusual subject. While looking at a yoga site that she used she'd come across a nude yoga video. Probably a bit tongue in cheek she'd asked Janice if she'd ever done nude yoga and it turned out that Janice did, usually in the privacy of her own room.
"Usually?" asked one of the women.
"Usually," agreed Janice with a laugh. "I have conducted a couple of nude yoga classes. It's odd, but even though the exercises and positions are the same the experience just seems completely different."
It seems that things had escalated from there and the girls decided to try nude yoga. Apparently they all agreed, even if one or two were a trifle reluctant.
"We're all girls together, so why not?" seemed to be the prevailing attitude.
There is a yoga position known as Prasarita. Basically you have your legs spread wide, leaning over, hands and head on the floor in front of you. All well and good as long as a man doesn't return home unexpectedly and walk into the room, finding himself with a bunch of naked pussies being presented to him.
Seeing the girls were theoretically facing away from me when they started, bending forward to rest their head on the ground meant they could see through their legs to the man standing in the doorway behind them.
Talk about instant consternation. Screams and panic and all of them collapsed into huddled heaps, faces red and doing their best not to look at me. Not all, I quickly noticed. Janice and another woman had simply straightened up and turned to face me, hands at their groin. They didn't seem to mind the fact that I could see their breasts. (And very nice breasts they were.) All the girls seemed quite fit.
"Troy," shrieked Janice. "What the hell are you doing here? Get out."
"I was involved in an accident," I said, trying to put some pathos into my voice. "The hospital beds are required for more serious patients so the doctors dumped me in a taxi and told me to go to bed. I'm to have bedrest for three days."
"Then go. Get the hell out of here."
"Um, yeah, but," I indicated that the door I needed to get to was on the far side of the room.
"If you'll excuse me, ladies, I'll just get out of your way." I edged my way past them, trying to memorise faces and put names to them. It's really hard to memorise a face when so many other parts were on display.
I actually recognised several of the women. Four at least were married and they quickly regained their composure, probably used to being naked in front of a man. This didn't stop them giving me nasty looks. I spotted Patricia there, a casual friend of mine, and she'd also regained her composure, just standing there and letting it all hang out. Not that anything was hanging, exactly. Her breasts were high and pert, pointing at me. I gave her an approving nod and she winked. I'd have to try to get her alone and naked soon. I might have been rejected previously but this little incident might put me in there with a chance.
Another young lady I recognised was Michelle, another boarder. She was blushing and trying to hide behind someone else, desperate to not show anything that shouldn't be shown. A very shy young lady. I was surprised that she'd even agreed to go along with the nude yoga.
"If you say anything about this to anyone I will castrate you with a pair of pinking scissors one night. In case you're wondering they're scissors that have a lot of little teeth and cut serrated lines."
Janice sounded deadly serious and I took her comment the way it was meant. Talk and die. Not that the threat stopped me giving her the once over as I passed her, giving her a nod of approval, which seemed to annoy her even more.
As soon as I passed Janice I stopped and leant against the wall.
"Um, Janice, I hate to ask a favour right now but could you or someone help me to my room? If you don't I think I might collapse before I reach it."
"Are you serious?"
"Unfortunately, yes. No help and I'll finish up crawling to bed which, while you may wish it, would make you feel guilty later. I can wait until you're dressed."
"Come on, Janice. I'll help you. The faster we remove him the faster we can get back to our yoga."
Patricia came strolling out, still naked, pushing a naked Janice along with her. They both grabbed me and held me upright as we staggered towards my room. (Okay, they walked, I staggered.) Damn-it-all. Two naked girls holding me and me not in a state to really enjoy it or take advantage.
Once in my room they steered me to the bed and I just sat and then lay back. That was the last I knew for a while.
When I woke it was evening. I was in my underwear and socks, everything else neatly folded on the bedside table. That told me that I hadn't undressed myself. No way would I have wasted time folding things.
I lay there and considered my situation. I was a little hungry but not overly so. While I'd appreciate a meal I just didn't feel up to going and getting one. I remained where I was.
Half an hour later there was a knock on the door and Janice stuck her head in.
"How are you feeling?" she asked. "Would you like something to eat?"
"I feel like I was danced on by an elephant doing ballet," I grumbled. "Yes, I'd like something to eat but no way am I leaving here to go and get anything."
"You don't need to. I've got a curry simmering. I'll bring you a bowl and you can eat it in bed. If you can't sit up I'll even feed it to you. We found a prescription in your pocket and Patricia nipped down to the chemist and had it filled. You're to rub the ointment in three times a day. Oh, and your chest looked as though that elephant had a fine old time. What the hell happened?"
"A car came through the wall, crossed the room, and rammed my desk into the wall. I was between the desk and the wall."
"Ha! It seems you were lucky to walk away from that."
"I didn't. They carried me out on a stretcher and off to the hospital. If they hadn't needed the bed for a more urgent case then I'd still be in the hospital. The doctor reckoned that I was just walking wounded and I'd be fine. Bet he wouldn't say that if it was him."
"Well I'll just go and get you your dinner. Don't go away."
She left, giggling happily.
She came back a short while later carrying a tray with my meal on it. She put the tray on the bedside table, telling me to sit up. I couldn't. I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't damn-well do it. Janice smirked at my helplessness, left the room and returned with a couple of pillow. She helped prop me up a little, jamming the pillows behind me. Then she settled down to feeding the little baby and, god help me, I had no choice but to let her.
After eating I thanked Janice for the meal. I also thanked her for helping me get to bed and asked her to pass my thanks on to Patricia.
"I assume that it was also you and Patricia who helped strip me?"
"We did," agreed Janice with a smug smile. "We also lifted your singlet to check out your chest to see if you were really hurt or pretending. The colour of your chest said it was real. A colour purple that an eggplant would envy."
Janice started giggling again, a funny smirk on her face.
"What?" I demanded, suspicious.
"Patricia pointed out that there was a nasty bulge in your shorts and suggested that we should check for extra bruising. Turns out that it was just a side effect from your voyeurism. You impressed Patricia though, still on display after you passed out."
Having all those women displaying themselves to me was it any wonder that I had a boner? I'd have been more surprised if I hadn't. Still, I suppose it would be expected to collapse after I lost consciousness. I just gave Janice a look and didn't say anything, not even reminding her that I'd seen her naked.
After dinner Janice removed the extra pillow so I was lying flat again and produced the liniment the doctor had prescribed.
