*This is a work of fiction.
I'd just turned 21 yrs. old. I was attending college at the college a half hour away from my house. I needed to take a Creative Writing class for one of my electives since I was an English major.
I was loving my college years-met some fun and interesting people older and younger than myself. Attended several parties despite not being a part of any fraternities. Stayed on top of my schoolwork and studied hard. Met some cute girls who I'd flirt with occasionally. Made four new close guy friends. However, I had no idea that fate would give me a big sucker punch.
I should've gotten a hint when I read over my new schedule. My professor for Creative Writing was a woman named Ms. Stuart. It's a fairly common last name, so I didn't think too much of it but was reminded of a boy I used to go to school with who had the same last name. His name was Jordan.
There was a time when we used to be good friends in middle school. (ever since I walked in on him being bullied in the boys' bathroom and stood up for him). We were close pals ever since. But then over time, we developed different hobbies (his was cutting class and getting high) and different interests. We started to hang out less and less. Then one day, Jordan couldn't find his Gameboy and blamed me for taking it! It was such a small thing to get irate about, but this was Jordan. He was very much into playing his video games and his Gameboy. He was so adamant that I'd stolen it from him for so long that he stopped hanging out with me altogether. From then on, 8th grade was a battlefield of sorts. At the start of 8th grade, he hung out with the more popular kids: Evan Sloane and Carter Nelson. (They were athletes, show-offs, and could be mean). I had never attended any school sports games in my life and wasn't going to start. Anyway, Carter, Evan, and Jordan made my life a living hell. Would tease me recklessly (I had some acne, wasn't very rich, and was a huge nerd). They would steal my lunch money and beat me up after school. It was bad.
Kids can be cruel. Even though this happened in the past, it still affects me somewhat. Occasionally, I'd think of him and wonder how he was doing.
When I walked into that college Creative Writing class, I instantly recognized some students from being in other classes with me: Danny, Kevin, and Shawn. My nerves suddenly faded away. I sat by Danny and a cute redhead girl named Audrey. We sat towards the back-it was my last class of the day. At 2 pm exactly, a tall black haired woman entered the room. A voluptuous and gorgeous woman with green eyes. She gave us a little smile when we made eye contact. She introduced herself as Ms. Stuart. Immediately, my pulse raced. I recognized this woman. This was Jordan Stuart's mother.
I wondered if she even recognized me, because it had been so long since I had seen her. Do mothers remember all of their kids' friends from childhood? No, surely, she'd have other more important things on her mind. She was still talking at this point; I had tuned her out moments ago. All I could think about was how awkward this sort of was. I remembered once, when I was over at Jordan's house rollerblading with Jordan down the sidewalk and I'd fallen. Ms. Stuart had given me an ice pack and some ice cream. (Back then, she was MRS. Stuart, not Ms. Stuart). I wondered what had happened with her husband-they probably had gotten divorced. I briefly wondered why. Why would anyone want to divorce a woman like her? She was seemingly the whole package.
"...so I'm very excited to teach another group of students, to mold their young minds. Thank you for signing up for my class. Get your work turned in on time, study, and don't sleep..." Ms. Stuart narrowed her eyes at some kid slumped over in the middle of the room. "and we'll be fine for the semester." After that, she went over the syllabus.
At the end of class, as I was grabbing my books and my backpack to leave, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone was staring at me. I glanced over and saw it was Ms. Stuart. "Can I talk to you for a second?" she asked. I nodded. Ran a hand through my hair. "Sure," I replied. I told my friends I'd see them later.
"Jonathan...Rodgers? I remember you. It's been a long time. How've you been?" Ms. Stuart asked.
"You remember me huh?" I said.
"Of course! You were so well behaved. And I remember all of my son's closest friends."
I wondered how much she knew about her bully of a son. I wondered how Jordan was doing. If he was struggling with school or if he was excelling.
"I didn't know you were a college professor," I commented. "I'm impressed."
"Thank you," Ms. Stuart replied. "I love it here. I've been teaching for 15 years now."
"Good," I said.
"Well, I'll see you around. It was nice seeing you again," she stated.
"You too," I agreed.
**************************************************************************************************
The rest of my classes I was excelling at due to my decision not to go to parties as much as I used to. Some of my friends were confused as to why I'd rather study, but they overall respected my decision. History was my least favorite class due to the professor being sort of well, boring. Despite this, I still tried to participate in discussions during class and really pay attention.
My new favorite class soon became Creative Writing despite me not being a big writer. Though I loved to read biographies, fiction, and poetry. We were on our poetry unit. Currently we were reading Emily Dickinson's poetry. We had to write three poems each week and then pick one we wrote to read to the class. They could be about anything: love, friendship, loss, emotions, or a breakup. I struggled with writing poetry, as I wasn't used to writing it often. However, I tried my best. I decided I'd write a love poem, a breakup poem, and a friendship poem. After we read the one poem to the class, the class would give us feedback on it. (This I was mostly concerned about, as I didn't like rejection). I really wanted my poem to move the students-I really wanted them to enjoy it. This was the poem I chose to share with the class:
Wish we were close,
but you don't know
how much I think of the two
of us. Just another face is how you
view me. Wish we were young
and carefree, but rejection is strong
and so loud. Days go by
and there's so much I must write
because at least I'll have that.
If I can't have you back.
Several students told me they really enjoyed it, while others thought it was "okay." Ms. Stuart said she liked it as well. This really perked me up during class. I tried to ignore the student who told me it could've been longer. After class, Audrey and Danny were going to go to the movies and they asked me if I wanted to go too. I told them no, that I had to study (which was a lie). I had agreed to go on a date with a girl from my French class, Jamie. We were supposed to meet at the mall's food court at 4:30. Immediately after my Creative Writing class, I took a shower and sprayed on some cologne. Then I did some reading for a while until 4 o'clock when I was heading to the mall.
When I got there at 4:20, I didn't see her anywhere. Figured I was still so early, so I waited. And waited. By the time it was 4:40, she still hadn't shown up. Bummed, I decided I'd leave but decided to grab a bite to eat first. While I was waiting in line, I thought I saw someone I knew seated at one of the tables. Ms. Stuart! She was seated across from a man with gray hair and glasses. I wondered who he was. If they were friends or colleagues or if this was a date. After I got my slice of pizza, I decided I'd go over and say hi to be nice.
Ms. Stuart seemed surprised to see me there. "Oh hello Jonathan," she greeted.
"It's a small world." The man across from her looked a bit confused. She quickly explained to him that I was one of her students. He continued eating his sandwich while Ms. Stuart and I made small talk. Mostly about the weather and what movies were currently playing. It seemed like trivial things, but to me, this was great. We were having conversations and I wasn't making a fool out of myself! I didn't chat for too long, maybe about two or three minutes before I said good-bye.
I struggled writing my next three poems as my heart wasn't as into it. I wondered why Jamie had stood me up. Had she forgotten our plans? I really had wanted to spend some more time with her. I tried texting her, but received no response. I tried to bury myself with my other homework and studying.
*********************************************************************************************************
During that next Creative Writing class, I made a fool of myself. I hadn't finished writing the three poems; I'd only gotten around to writing one. It was short and not very good to be honest. I was usually on top with my schoolwork, but this was different. I couldn't concentrate and I even zoned out during class a few times. Still wondering why Jamie hadn't texted me back. Was she just not interested? Then why hadn't she just said no when I'd asked her out?
After class, Ms. Stuart walked up to me. "Can we talk?"
"Sure!" I said. Hoped I didn't sound too excited.
"In my office," she added sternly.
"Oh, alright." I followed her into her office. It wasn't too far away from the Creative Writing classroom. I took a seat across from her.
"I noticed you weren't yourself in class today."
"Oh," I replied. Not knowing what else to say.
"You weren't paying attention, you kept looking at your phone, you didn't do all of your work, and your poem wasn't..." Ms. Stuart paused. "it wasn't what I think you can accomplish. This better not become a habit. Don't waste my time."
Whoa. This was hard to hear, but I probably deserved it.
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," I told her. What else could I say?
"Good. I'm glad to hear it."
"Is that everything?" I asked.
She sighed. "That's everything."
As I was leaving, I suddenly stopped. I realized Ms. Stuart was still looking my way. "Oh, who was that man you were with at the mall?" I asked her.
"A dear friend of mine," she replied. "Why?"
I shrugged. "Was just wondering."
I paused. "What ever happened to Mr. Stuart?"
"Oh, we got divorced years ago," Ms. Stuart answered softly.
Just as I was heading down the hallway, I heard Ms. Stuart break down crying.
Oh no. I'd hit a nerve. My heart sank in my chest. I had to go back. I felt so bad.
