Mouse Gets to Roar

(This is my entry for the Summer Lovin' Contest 2024. If you like it, please give me a good vote, it would mean a great deal to me!! Thank you for reading!!)

(All of the characters in this story are over 18. All events seen or discussed take place between consenting adults.)

They call me Mouse, it's the best way to insult me and ignore me at the same time.

My step-sister's friends started it. Like her, they're a few years older than me. Jen is the opposite to me, in ways that people always find amusing. I'm skinny and pale, she's firm and tanned. I've got lank black hair, hers is bright blonde. I need spectacles, they make my blue eyes look a little too big. Squinty. Her eyes are a lovely warm hazel. When she smiles they almost look green.

I feel like a bag of elbows. All awkward and weird, I doubt she's ever felt anything but gorgeous.

She tells people she's my full sister. Not because she's proud, but because it gets a laugh. I guess people don't even know why they're laughing. I just look so awkward standing next to her. Like I'm her shadow. All skin and bones. Jen's lips are full. Her hips are curvy. She's funny, quick witted, confident. She has a very natural flirty way that makes people instantly like her.

I'm quiet. Painfully shy. My last boyfriend (only my second) said he got bored of kissing me. Like my first boyfriend he'd started calling me Mouse at some point. "Actually, it's May!" I remember snapping at him.

I can still remember Joe's grin. "Sure."

I was a pity fuck. I know that because he told me. I lie awake at night, my knickers pulled off and lying on the floor and I remember him. It embarrasses me. But I imagine a more gentle, giving, version of him. A version that kisses his way down my body and dedicates time to my pleasure. My legs part, I rub a saliva slick finger around my clit. Joe never kissed me there. Didn't mind getting his cock sucked though, did he? Not that I was ever good enough at it. I shaved for him, all over. I made an effort, like a fool.

He'd grab my hair in a bunch while I sucked him. He would push me down. I used to think he found the spluttering sounds I made sexy, now I realise he was just amused. I used to wonder if all boys were like this? Was this something you had to get used to? Something you had to be thankful for?

I pushed these thoughts down while I touched myself. I imagined him tender and sweet. Loving me. My legs opened all of the way, but there was no one to wrap them around. I came in the dark, alone. Breathing sharply. He never even made me cum. I never mentioned it. Never complained. He was doing me a favour just getting on top of me. His words.

I lay on my side and told myself not to cry. Forget him. He was trash. Pity the girl he's with now if that's what he's like. But I couldn't forget him. I missed him. It had been nine months since he was in my bed. I would lie next to him, listening to him breathe, revelling in his presence. I would snuggle him. Usually he'd let me. Sometimes he was almost nice. We laid there once when it was raining, we listened to it patter on the window and he stroked my hair. It was so cosy and nice. We were only together for about five months, but in that brief time I was so happy. Even if it wasn't real. Even if it was all a bit of a joke to him, at least I had someone. Briefly I was like everyone else.

Now I was just Mouse again.

*

Over breakfast one morning I listened as Jen laid out her big plans for summer. She and her three besties were going to Spain. A lovely seven day break. Mum and dad listened intently as she laid it out. She was twenty five, she could do whatever she wanted. She was planning on moving out before Christmas anyway. She'd just broken up with Paul, her partner of two years. Now she was single again, I knew the girls would be getting into mischief. It sounded fun.

Mum and dad exchanged knowing looks, but what could they say?

Spain! Sunny beaches. Water rippling with sunlight. Hunky guys all tanned and toned just strolling around, smiling. Everybody living in a dream. A limbo place far away from day to day concerns.

What a happy place. What a dream.

*

Kelly was the nicest of Jen's friends. Always laughing, bottle blonde. She was thick lipped and curvy. She looked like all the other girls, but she still stood out. The boys adored her. She was never mean to me, but she never exactly made time for me either.

Maxine was gorgeous. A brunette with lovely shoulder length hair. She had long legs and generous breasts. The boys all fancied her and she knew it. She had a laugh that was mean and a wit that was scalding. I had no doubt Mouse came from her first. She loved to talk dirty around me. As if she wanted to shock me, or rub her sexlife in my face. The last girl was Bianca. Dark skinned, with lovely warm eyes. She had been kind to me at first, but that had cooled over the years. Now she and Maxine were thick as thieves. All they ever talked about were boys. Nights out. Pleasure. I envied them, but God I didn't want to be them.

I couldn't imagine being best friends with any of them, but their confidence, their experience, excited me. I couldn't help but be jealous. I lay in bed that night thinking about Spain, about sun-kissed bodies. I imagined that I was there, and that the girls were nice to me, encouraging, and they helped me meet a nice boy. I imagined them stripping me and pushing me into a room where a man was waiting for me.

I lay there, touching myself, my eyes were clenched shut. I got myself worked up to the point where I could almost believe my hands were his. He was tugging my nipples, stroking his way down my tummy to my pussy. There he started to rub me slowly, gently, taking his time. He wasn't teasing me, but learning my body. I smiled as he whispered my name. I wanted to moan his name, but he didn't have one.

There was a sharp knock on the door. "May?"

Oh shit!

Jen was coming in before I could do anything. I scrambled and pulled a sheet over me just as she flicked the light on. She froze and stared at me. I was sweaty, my hair was a mess. I must have looked red with embarrassment. She just sighed and shut the door behind her. "Were you wanking?"

Oh God. "N-no," I spluttered.

"You're naked. I'm not stupid."

"I always sleep naked."

Jen just smiled. She probably guessed I wasn't exciting enough to do that, and she was right. "Don't be embarrassed. It's good to take care of yourself."

She was looking around, no doubt she was here to borrow something. Her words stung me. "Is there a choice?" I said. It was meant as a whisper, but there was enough venom in my mouth to make the whisper echo.

Jen stopped what she was doing and looked at me. I pulled my sheet close and cringed under her gaze. Jesus. Just fuck off and leave me alone. I wondered if I would have the nerve to finish off what I'd started? What if she just barged back in again? That would be typical. Something new for her to ruin.

To my surprise she came over and sat on the bed next to me. I wondered if the sheets were wet. Did I smell of sweat? I must have looked gross. She reached out and I flinched. Wincing slightly, she tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and studied me. "I'm sorry you haven't found anyone."

I wondered for a second if this was a dig, but it seemed sincere enough. I looked away. "Thanks," I mumbled.

"And I'm sorry Joe was such a prick."

"Yeah." I appreciated that. We hadn't really talked about him. We hadn't had much time alone.

"You are pretty, you know. You're just so bloody quiet."

I found a sock lying on the floor and fixed my eyes on it. I didn't want to look at her. I could feel her pitying eyes on me. Would she tell the girls? Of course she would. Maxine would bark that laugh of hers. "Oh God, she fucking wanks? Disgusting. Did you burn her sheets!"

Bianca would chime in, that's all she did. "Does she even know what she's doing? Sure she wasn't poking her bum by mistake?"

I knew the sorts of things they would say, I had heard them insult plenty of other girls over the years.

I heard Jen sigh, but then she caught it and cut it off. There was a brief silence, then she said: "Why don't you come with us?"

I looked back at her, confused. "Where?"

She smiled. "Spain. Where else?"

My jaw dropped. "You don't want me there!"

She laughed. "It's just four girls going off for seven days in the sun. Why not five girls? Makes no difference."

"They don't like me."

She shrugged at that. "Kelly likes you. Maxine doesn't like anyone pretty. Bianca doesn't care." She tried another tactic. "What were you thinking about before I came in here?"

I blushed and looked away.

"Well, don't you want it to be real? Nothing will ever happen if you sit around here, dreaming." She got up and grabbed a charger from a table. "Think about it, anyway. What have you got to lose?"

Jen gave me an awkward smile and then walked out. She could be a lovely sister sometimes, I'd almost forgotten. Maybe she had too.

I turned off the lights and lay in the dark, but instead of drifting off towards fantasies, I began to wonder instead about possibilities. She was right. I was happy lying in the dark. But the lights always came on in the end.

I had to at least try and make something happen.

*

I made a decision, and Jen told the others.

Maxine was pissed. Kelly didn't seem to mind me coming much, though Bianca seemed fairly annoyed. Apparently none of them put up much of an argument though. Jen had told them I'd be rooming with her. I got the impression she'd told them I wouldn't be a problem.

Ultimately, I wasn't going to ruin their fun or cramp their style. So nobody cared enough to make a fuss. Plans were tweaked, and another ticket booked. Suddenly it was real. It was happening. I was going to Spain!

*

The next few weeks passed in an increasingly exciting blur, and all too quickly we were in an uber and waving goodbye to mum and dad. I was determined to try and go with the flow, to not stress myself. I was going to have fun, in spite of myself.

We met the girls at the airport. I watched as Jen went around giving hugs and kisses. They had all known each other so long. It stung a little that I didn't have any friends like this. There had been Emily, but she'd gone off to university and never come back. Lily had been nice, but she moved away. Rochelle and I had some stupid argument and never spoke again. I couldn't even remember what the argument was about.

Kelly gave me a brief hug, then she seemed to think better of it and gave me a tighter hug. As if she was telling herself she might as well get to like me, she'd be stuck with me for seven days.

Bianca gave me a smile and a faint nod. Maxine just pursed her lips when she saw me. Was I making her less cool, less desirable, just by existing?

"Hi Maxine!" I tried to give her a friendly smile and a little wave, something to break the ice.

"Hi Mouse!" She mocked my tone and waved her hand in a silly way.

My face fell. Bianca sniggered. Jen sighed.

Kelly watched my face, then she smirked. "Are you jealous of Mouse, Max? She looks fucking cute."

Maxine's jaw dropped. Kelly turned me to me and adjusted the hat I'd decided to wear. I thought it was nice. She looked at my shades, my silver necklace. "Your brat girl summer fit is lethal."

I doubted that, but I smiled.

Maxine grabbed her suitcase. "Ugh. Whatever. Let's get going."

Jen looked relieved. As if she'd been afraid the first hurdle would be the worst. I saw her give Kelly a little smile as well. A thank you?

We grabbed our cases and pulled them after us. It was a long time before we were all settled and boarded. I sat next to Jen and found my initial nervous energy was turning back to tension. This was my first time abroad. I tried not to think about what would happen if I got separated from the others. I was twenty two for God's sake! I was feeling overwhelmed. Jen must have noticed, she gave my hand a pat. "Just try and sleep, this is the boring part."

I gave her a grateful smile, and then I tried to relax. I shut my eyes and thought about heat and happy faces. New dreams. New possibilities.

*

Spain was shimmering in the heat. Like a mirage rather than a country. The hotel was big, with a lovely pool and a good view of the beach. Jen and I found our room, while Maxine and Bianca took the one next door, and Kelly took the room across from us.

The weather was gorgeous. Too gorgeous, I hadn't stopped sweating since I'd gotten off the plane, though to be fair none of us had. The hotel had good AC though, so there was that. I sat on my bed and felt a cool breeze ruffle my hair. I felt strikingly out of place. Still, I was determined to try and enjoy myself. We unpacked and then met the girls downstairs for some drinks. The hotel had a large bar and dining room. It was spacious and bright. It was designed to make you feel happy, and I did. There were various couples of all ages wandering around. I noticed a group of guys and quickly looked away, embarrassed.

We got a table and started on some cocktails. None of the girls wanted to see the sights. Unless those sights were male. They laid out plans for clubs and events, for dinners and parties. I sat in silence while they gossiped and laughed. After a while I realised there would have been no difference in me not coming. I tried to combat that by offering to get a round in.

I went to the bar and ordered some more cocktails. I felt as if the barmaid was judging me as she put more glasses on the tray. "I'm with friends," I blurted out. She paused, and gave me a strained smile. I tried not to physically kick myself. God!

On my way back from the bar I bumped into a man and the tray wobbled in my arms. Fuck! So embarrassing. I couldn't walk in a straight line without tripping over it. The man gave me a quick smile and reached out to help make sure the drinks didn't go flying. "You okay?"

He was English. Brown haired, skinny. He seemed to be about my age and had a nice big smile. I smiled back, then realised I hadn't said anything. "Yes. Fine. Sorry."

"That's okay. Let me help you." He took a couple of glasses off, and I was able to balance the tray better. "Where are you going?"

I nodded over to our booth. He was cute, he had a sort of boyish eagerness to him. His hair was ruffled, and I wondered if a girl had just run her fingers through his hair. I felt a dumb surge of irritation towards a girl that probably didn't exist.

"My friends are over there."

My expression must have told him something. "Been fighting?"

I winced. "No, no it's fine."

"Can I help? I'm Rick, by the way," he smiled.

"Mo- May." Dear God. For one second I had been about to say Mouse. I hated that more than anything. They had started to change me from the inside out. "Yes please, thanks." I was so thankful. So grateful. I must sound so pathetic.

He helped me with the drinks, chatting about the resort while we walked. Him and his friends were in the middle of a two week stay. I liked his smile, which came often. I found myself staring at his lips. I was wearing a plain yellow dress. I was showing more skin than I normally would. But you had to here, it was too hot to cover up. I had no bra underneath, just my dress, panties and sandals. When he looked at me, I wondered if he could actually see me? If you looked right through me, wasn't there a prettier girl behind me?

My doubts formed an orderly queue. Why had I picked yellow? My hair was greasy. I was so pale. Stupid thin lips. So skinny. Squinty eyes. Dumb glasses. Freckles on my shoulders.

I almost snorted, why was I being so self-conscious when I thought I was invisible?

He helped me bring the drinks over to the table, and Maxine laughed. "Did you get lost, Mouse?"

I blushed fiercely. Bianca laughed. "Careful mate, right nympho this one. Get away while you can!"

Rick frowned and gave me an awkward smile. I just stared at the floor. Fuck you Bianca, just leave me alone. I couldn't say it, so I just repeated it in my head over and over.

"Yeah she's a cumguzzler," Maxine laughed hysterically at her own joke.

"A cocksnorter!" Bianca threw in her own joke, and the two fell apart laughing. Kelly smiled but at least she looked away. Jen shot me a pitying look, which was worse than the rest combined.

Rick ignored them and gave my arm a light touch. "Well, nice to meet you." As he walked away, he passed me and whispered something. "Don't worry, you're better than them." He gave me a quick smile, and then he was gone.

"What did he say?" Maxine asked, raising an eyebrow. "Give you his room number? It's not his, I can tell you!"

I sat back down and sipped from my drink. I hoped a non answer would irritate her and it did.

"I know what he said," Bianca said, trying to keep a straight face. "Anal?"

Maxine laughed, Kelly had to properly hide her face this time. Jen smiled, and looked at me in a weird way, as if she was encouraging me to join in. Should I? Did I risk being on the outside forever if I didn't show I had a sense of humour about myself?

I forced a smile. "I told him: no, I'm just pedantic."

That was funny. Right?

The girls stopped laughing. Kelly shot me a smile, but the others just gave me odd looks. Did they think I was trying to be a smart ass? Was it no longer funny the second I joined in? For fucks sake, how was I supposed to know what to say? I cringed in my seat and looked down at my lap.

The conversation picked up again, and again it went on without me.

*

The first club we went to that night was super loud. I hugged the edge of the dance floor sipping cokes as I watched everyone else. I looked around for Rick, but I never saw him. A few guys looked at me, but the only one that talked to me was utterly wasted. He scared me a little, blundering up to me with his proclamation of how sexy I was. Another guy tried to grab my glasses, and I had to push him away. I had contacts back in my luggage, I would switch to them tomorrow. Probably safer. I'd just keep spare glasses on me. I shuddered. Imagine stumbling around shortsighted in a new country? Yay, a new fear unlocked!

Typical. Everyone else was dancing and having fun, I was stockpiling worries.

I decided I would just try and keep track of the others. Maxine and Bianca were already wrapped around two absolute studs. Tall muscular guys with cocky grins and sharp tans. They were bantering with the girls, who were just giggling at everything. Bianca was sitting in one guy's lap, snogging his head off. Maxine disappeared with her guy soon enough. Jen and Kelly made friends, but they didn't go off with anyone, not on the first night at least.

We lost Bianca, but then Jen found her blowing a guy in the girls toilets. We collected her and took her giggling back to the hotel with us, walking down the street in cool moonlight. Bianca turned to me and demonstrated with her hands how big his cock had been. "And his cum, fuck me, fucking ropes of it." She looked wistful. "My fault, made him cum too soon. I will have that cock though."

Kelly and Jen giggled.

Me, I found the whole fucking day depressing.

*

The next few days were built on a similar pattern. We drank and ate downstairs, we went to new clubs, the girls met some boys, they danced, rinse and repeat.

All of them hooked up with a guy at some point. I had to spend a night with Kelly when Jen brought a guy back to our room. I wasn't trying to, but I could hear their muffled sounds of pleasure, their laughter. Whenever I realised one of the others was having sex, I had to go to the bathroom and touch myself. I felt ashamed, but I just felt this horrible build up of sexual energy, or curiosity, that had nowhere else to go. I ran a shower and stood under the cool water rubbing between my legs like a fool.