Mercy Sex

"Why don't you come over to mom's house with me? It would do you good to get out of here and everything you see there won't remind you of Darcy like it does here."

Erin and I were sitting facing each other in my living room. She was on a sofa and I was in a reclining chair. It was 72 hours since the accident that took my wife and I was numb. I kept hoping the front door would open and we'd hear Darcy's voice announcing that she was home and everything was back to normal. But it wasn't to be.

My thoughts were jumping all around, mostly full of despair, and they kept circling back to how just three days ago my now shattered world had been perfect. If only! If only I had walked her to her car that morning, if only I had insisted on another kiss before we got out of bed, if only I had asked her to approve my apparel for the day, if only I had done something to delay her for just 30 seconds the present would be so different.

I managed a weak smile. "That's all right, I like being reminded of her. And it's important for me to grieve here, it's almost like I'm in her presence. It would feel wrong to try avoid the memory of her. I can still smell her new perfume..."

I choked up. I was going to say I could still smell in the air the new perfume she was wearing when she left that horrible day, but I was feeling much too raw to say that and I got emotional. Erin waited until I had recovered my composure.

"Alright. How about I stay a bit longer? I don't like you being here all alone." For once she spoke with a soft voice, and her pronounced West Virginia accent gave her voice a soothing quality.

"That would be nice. For a while, anyway."

Erin was one of Darcy's best friends, and she drove up from San Diego the day I called her with the news. She was staying at her mom's house in town but she had spent some of the past two days either with me or at the house if I was out, cleaning and cooking and just being there. I guess it was how she was coping with the loss of her friend.

But Erin was a talker. And I don't mean she liked to talk and then listen while you talked. No, she talked and talked and talked, usually loud and long. Her ex-husband stopped listening to her long before they split, her kids never listened to her, and frankly, I had never listened either. And I wasn't listening now. She was going on and on about this and that, really about nothing at all, but it was comforting me to have her there. Instead of getting irritated at her incessant talking I just zoned out the words and let the sound of her voice keep the house from turning into a cold and forbidding place without Darcy.

When I tuned back in Erin was saying, "... and I cooked you three casseroles and all you have to do is warm up a serving and eat it. And there's frozen veggies in the freezer. Do you know how to cook them? They're the kind you just throw in the microwave and they're done. But you have to put them right side up. At least that's what it says on the package. I don't suppose anything bad would happen if you cooked them right side down, unless there are vent holes for the steam or something. But watch out for the steam. You have to let them steam before you open them. The steam really gets me sometimes if I forget to let the bag cool down. It burns as bad as cooking on the stove. Have you microwaved them before? There are other brands but I don't know if you can open any of them right away after they're done without burning your fingers on the steam and then there's..."

My mind left her again until she stopped talking entirely. When I looked up at the silence she was waiting for me, and after we made eye contact she reverted to her softer voice of earlier, "What are you going to do now?

"I don't know, probably get drunk and wait for bedtime."

"No, silly. I mean, what are you going to do now that Darcy is... you know..."

I sat in silence for a while. "I haven't thought ahead, really. I suppose I'll keep working at the firm, keep the house, wait until this cloud lifts and I'm seeing daylight again. It's hard to say. I'm not looking forward to a life without her..." My voice trailed off.

"You poor thing. What would she want you to do? Did you ever talk about it?"

"Yeah, but not directly. She always said that she didn't have the energy to date again if something happened to me but she wasn't so sure I'd do the same. But it's way too soon to think about anything. I just want her back."

We both sat there misty eyed for a few moments.

"Is there anything else you need? Want me to do some laundry? Or take the pets for a couple days?" Then she launched into another lengthy word salad stream. I sat and listened, not to her words but to her tone as my mind wandered.

After my dad's funeral, and after spending the day with family and friends, Darcy and I went back to the hotel where we got ready for bed. Lying there in the dark it finally hit me that dad was gone and I cried some real tears. Darcy held me, but after a short while she slipped off her nightshirt and pushed my face into her chest and I experienced the most gratifying nipple sucking that I could remember. Darcy was a head shorter than me, slender and about 120 pounds. Her weight, such as it was, went right to her breasts, which were 34C when we married but at age 50 were 34DD and threatening at times to spill out into 34E. I sucked her like I was a starving baby, and when her nipples were getting too sore to continue, she pulled down my boxers and rode me so hard that I almost couldn't breathe. I came hard and then fell asleep with my face next to her breasts, a nipple next to my mouth.

My mind came back to the present as I looked at Erin sitting across from me. She was also about 50 years old, half a head taller than Darcy, natural blond with blue eyes, a pretty face and a long lean body. Her breasts were modest in size but complimented well her physique which was very leggy with a flat stomach and abdomen. She was beautiful to look at, spoiled only if you knew of her inclination to talk too much and her annoying tone of voice. I again became aware of what she was saying.

"... don't be afraid to ask. And if it's not me, you can always call my mom, or Dave (Darcy's brother), or even someone you work with. We all understand that you are grieving and would rather you reach out to us than you trying to stay strong or silent or macho or whatever it is that makes you men suffer alone. So if there's anything at all just tell me."

It wasn't premeditated, not really. But I dropped down out of the recliner onto my knees and closed the space between Erin and me by half and said, "Can I suck your nipples?"

In hindsight, it is remarkable how normal she considered my request. From the look on her face I hadn't asked something offensive or forward. It was more like I had asked her to get me a glass of water, or to help me unload groceries from the car or some other mundane thing. She gave it about as much thought as that glass of water, then held up her hands, cupping the underside of her breasts and lifting them up and said, "These little things? You'd like to suck them?"

"Yeah, it would comfort me. Please?"

She gave a slight face shrug and at the same time said in an agreeable tone of voice, "Okay," and immediately took off her blouse by crossing her arms at the waist and lifting it up and off without unbuttoning it. She was wearing a plain white bra which was padded, something I'd long suspected given the shape of her breasts underneath her clothes. She tossed the blouse on the floor beside the sofa, dropped both bra straps from her shoulders, quickly turned the bra around to the front and unhooked it, pulled it off, and in the few seconds from her saying okay to her sitting topless I was looking at B cup perfection.

Her amazing breasts looked like a teen girl's. They were perfectly symmetrical with areolas about in the middle and nipple buds that pointed slightly upward. Beneath the areolas the tissue swelled outward to make beautiful, rounded breasts with no sag. But I wasn't thinking sexual thoughts at that moment. I was thinking needy, comfort me thoughts.

Erin leaned back on the sofa, held out her arms in welcome and I moved forward between her spread legs and leaned onto her and went straight for her left breast. The areola was dark pink and about three times the size of one of her eyes. Of course, she was talking.

"That's right Kev, come suck my nipples. Come to Erin and suck my nipples like a needy baby."

This wasn't foreplay before sex, so I took it straight into my mouth. The areola and nipple were relaxed but as soon as I sucked they started to get hard and wonder of wonders, the areola shrunk to about the size of a nickel but the nipple kept growing until it was long and thick, like the nipple on a traditional baby bottle. It is about the most erotic thing I have ever had in my mouth.

I opened my mouth wide and sucked in as much of her breast as I could. The skin was past my lips, the areola past my teeth, and I pushed the nipple against the roof of my mouth and cradled it with my tongue on the sides and bottom. As I sucked I slid my tongue back to front along the nipple like I was trying to squeeze milk out of it. After a while I would move my head back until the nipple popped out of my mouth and then move forward and latch on again. I did it over and over, feeling endorphins flood my brain and palpably ease my grief, during which Erin grew quiet. After several minutes I was not only sucking but also licking and kissing. I moved right just slightly and kissed the side boob, then kissed down and underneath, then back to sucking the nipple. Erin placed her hands behind my head at first, but she dropped them and wasn't moving or making a sound.

I heard her whisper so quiet I almost couldn't make out the words, "Are my titties helping?"

I let go of the nipple and rolled my head to the right so my cheek was against her chest between her breasts and looked upward into her eyes. They were large and filled with compassion and mine probably looked the same. I nodded my head and rolled back onto her nipple.

After another minute I kissed and licked leftward across to her right tit. She raised her right hand and cupped it like she was holding it out for me. I started sucking. The areola and nipple were harder than the left had been at first, but again I enjoyed the amazing sensation of a nipple growing until it was just like the left, long and thick and suckable.

As I started popping it out of my mouth she spoke, "You like my nipples?"

I paused. "I've never seen anything like them. They're amazing. I've also never noticed them before."

She said, "They only grow hard with pinching or sucking. Ahh, keep doing what you're doing."

I went back to sucking, and my right hand reached up to her wet and slick left nipple and started playing with it, rubbing, squeezing, rolling, flicking it. Erin went silent, and I glanced up at her to see her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. She wasn't smiling, but looked like she was holding her breath as if there was something nice happening and she didn't want it to stop.

I kept sucking that nipple for much longer than I had the left, and then I started switching between them, smearing my face into them, kissing, licking, sucking, gently biting, pushing them together and trying to take both into my mouth (I couldn't) and then sucking some more. I kissed, licked and sucked the sides, bottoms, tops, then I started on the nipples again. Even as I worked on her with my mouth, I was enjoying her smell. Depending on where I was paying attention at that moment she smelled sweet and salty and with a faint smell of perfume.

We were 20 minutes or so into it when she said out of the blue, "I'll give you a blowjob if you want."

It wasn't something I was expecting, but there was an easy answer. "That's alright, I'll keep doing this if that's okay."

She opened her eyes and frowned down at me. "I never heard of a man who didn't want a blowjob! Don't you like them?"

I was leaning forward into her lap, face to her chest, hands also on her chest, looking up at her as I spoke. "Not really. Not if there are other options."

She couldn't believe it. "Didn't Darcy give good head? How could you not want a blowjob?"

I disengaged again from her nipple and said, "Darcy gave great head. But whenever I would come in her mouth it would just frustrate me, because why waste a good orgasm in a mouth when you can come in a wet and hot pussy? If she was on the rag or not feeling into it when I wanted sex, I'd usually wait until I could come inside of her. That's how much better I like it than getting blown. In fact, if given a choice, I'd rather blow than get blown."

I was looking Erin in the eye when I said that and they widened. For the first time it occurred to me where this might go. I wasn't on my knees in front of her and sucking her tits for sexual gratification, and even with my expansive kissing and licking, this entire time my dick was more flaccid than erect, but at that moment sexual desire hit me like a large truck and my dick was fully erect in about 2 seconds. I didn't want to make a pass at her and have her refuse and take away her gorgeous tits, so I went back to them. But she was having thoughts of her own.

After a few minutes she said, "Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to blow me?"

I kept sucking and didn't answer, but she kept thinking about it, which became obvious when she said, "Kevin, I'll let you blow me," then, a moment later, "Kevin, I want you to blow me." More silence from me. Long pause from her. "Kevin, I want you to make love to me." Ah, yes! But I stayed silent. She pleaded, "Kevin, please?"

Once more I stopped paying attention to her chest and looked up at her. "I would really like that, Erin, but you don't have to give me mercy sex."

She almost shouted, "It's not mercy sex! It's something I want, too!"

She reached down and grabbed my armpits as if to pull me upward. I moved upward and placed my knees on either side of her so my head was even with hers. The first kiss is often the most exquisite and Erin didn't disappoint. Our faces slowly came together as we stared into each other's eyes, and when our lips touched it was everything, silken, sensuous, sexy. We didn't open our mouths at first, but we also didn't break the kiss. With more lip movement and feeling her slightly elevated breathing, our lips finally parted and I tasted her tongue for the first time. It was soft and sweet tasting.

We kissed for a long time, deep and searing with wonderful loads of saliva being passed back and forth between us. When we finally broke apart a worried look passed over Erin's face. She said, "Not the bedroom!"

"Nope. Stay right here."

I got up and moved to the right, lifted the side of the sofa and pulled it away from the wall and then did the same on the left side. I reached down and pulled the lever and because of Erin's weight the back plopped down flat, with her lying across the sofa with her legs dangling over the front, feet on the floor. It wasn't a great design for a sofa since the gap between the seat and back made it a little uncomfortable for sleeping, but we weren't going to be sleeping.

"What about Darcy? Won't it be weird?"

"No, not with you, and not for this. I'm calling it mercy sex because that's what I need. I think she would understand."

Erin held my gaze as she lay on her back on the sofa, feet still touching the floor, and I could see the wheels turning in her head. She said, "I loved Darcy too much to ever do anything about it, but I've always kind of wanted to get with you. If you know what I mean." She looked at my pants where my erection was obvious.

I said, "I think I do."

Erin moved her legs to her left onto the now flat sofa and shifted her body to the center, removing her shoes, pants and underwear. Still standing, I took off my clothes, and my erection was standing straight out in front of me, throbbing because my arousal was so great.

I stood for a moment longer and soaked in the sight of Erin. She was smiling up at me as I looked. Her naked body was long and slender, what some might describe as the perfect female shape. She had a waist slimmer than her shoulders, and the width of her hips were somewhere in between the width of her waist and her shoulders. Her thighs were proportionate with her body and her legs seemed like they went on forever until they terminated in perfect looking feet. She was unshaved and her hair was blond with a thin line of hair running up to her navel. I was thinking of devouring that thin line of hair but first I wanted more face time. A lot more.

"Do you like what you see?"

"You're gorgeous."

"Come to me."

She held out her arms and I laid down on top of her and she immediately rolled toward her right and onto her right side as I slipped off her and mirrored her by lying on my left side. We embraced and started kissing, deep and wet that just got better the longer we went at it. Kissing a woman's mouth adds something intensely intimate during sex that I don't feel if it is missing, and there are few things more pleasing for me than to be naked and holding a naked woman and kissing passionately. But there are a couple of things I like even better.

Erin was talking into my mouth as we kissed, saying things like, "You taste good," and "Mmm, I love this."

Eventually, I decided to ramp up the fun. I said, "Can I blow you?"

She kissed me much harder, as if trying to make the feeling last after the kiss ended, and said, "Fuck me with your tongue," and rolled onto her back.

It took me several minutes to get there. I started kissing and sucking on her neck, and her moaning told me she liked it so I stayed there. It wasn't hard to do because her neck smelled amazing, like she generated her own private perfume. Then it was on to her upper chest, and the smell was still there, even when I kissed out to her shoulders and back again. Her nipples were just as hard and crazy large as before and her tits smelled different this time, with my saliva smell and her slippery skin smell. I sucked her nipples hard, feeling the tips extend deep in my mouth, causing her to groan. I wasn't sure if it was pleasure or pain but I did my best to make giant hickeys of her entire areolas.

I kissed down to her navel and rubbed my face in her stomach and abdomen. I love this part of a woman's anatomy, and it's even better if she has had children and has a bit of a paunch. Erin had birthed 3 kids but her stomach was flat, which was also okay. The thin strip of hair running from her pussy to her navel was highly erotic. My tongue lapped at it, my lips pulled the sparse hair, my teeth bit it.

Erin said, "Sorry, I haven't shaved for my bikini line yet this year."

"Don't! This is the most sexy strip of hair."

She laughed, "Stop teasing me."

I shook my head. "I'm not. I love pubic hair. I love this little line of hair. Tell me if I'm too rough with it."

Then I eased downward, kissing as I went. I like it best when the woman doesn't shave. I'd had it both ways with Darcy, but for me there is something carnal about tonguing and chewing on pubic hair that turns me on and makes my erection the hardest it can get. This time was no different. Her hair was blond and not soft or coarse but somewhere in between. Her bush wasn't a wild jungle, but she had wispy hair growing in the crease where her thighs met her lower abdomen. Damn! Fine hair like that drives me crazy when I run my nose through it or pull on it with my lips.

When I buried my face in her bush for the first time, I really got to smell her. The faint odor of urine, vagina juices, hair smell, soap, shampoo or body wash, even textile smell from her underwear, it was all there combining into one fragrant delight that was intoxicating for me. I pushed my face into her and chewed and licked and sucked everywhere there was hair until I was sure she was getting tired of it but when I looked up, she was staring at me, grinning.