Note: The characters in this story are over 30, have a mortgage, and should floss more.
~~~
"Hon, how big are you?"
"Um, about five ten" he replied without looking up from his phone.
"No, your dick. How big is your dick?"
He glanced up. "Six and three-quarters inches" then went back the rabbit hole that had landed him on the article for The Buenos Aires Underground.
"You don't know your exact height, but you know that off the top of your head?"
"Sure. Most guys probably do."
"Down to the quarter-inch?"
"Quarter inches are important when you're measuring your cock."
"Can I see?"
This got his attention enough to put down his phone. And for an erection to start. "Of course. Like I'd ever turn that down."
"No. I mean, yes, but no I wanna measure it." her face was eager and curious.
"Oh! Sure, why not. See if you can find a ruler."
She turned and bolted from the room. Dressed only in a t-shirt and panties, he got a great view of her round ass before she disappeared.
As she excitedly padded off to find the right tool for his tool, he rolled off the bed, stripped out of his t-shirt and boxers, then laid back down. He stretched and put his hands behind his head.
He could hear her opening closets and drawers through the house. Finally he heard her exclaim "ah-ha!" like a cheesy TV detective, then her quick footfalls coming nearer.
When she returned, she triumphantly brandished a long yellow tape with black markings. A seamstress tape measure.
"Will this work? From my sewing kit."
"Yeah, that's perfect actually"
She excitedly bounded onto the bed, tape measure in hand. Her braless tits bounced under her thin shirt.
"Ready? Let's see what you got." She was way too amped about this.
"Have at it. I have nothing to hide." He grinned and looked at her expectantly.
With one hand she gently placed the end of the tape at the very tip of his cock and held it there. With the other, she used her thumb to run the tape down his length until it reached the base, letting the rest fall across his balls and between his thighs. She could feel his warm shaft twitch at her touch.
"You're over seven inches!" she said excitedly. "I knew it" she whispered to herself.
"Heh, what do you mean 'You knew it'?"
"Oh, um. Well, when me and the girls talk about cocks, I tell them you're seven inches."
"You talk about cocks?"
"Oh hon, we talk about everything. Penny says Ryan is eight inches. I didn't really believe her, but then she showed me a picture."
"Wow, good for Ryan. Wait, you haven't shown them any of my pics have you?"
" 'course not. Your cock is mine, not for sharing." she smirked in a way exactly calibrated to make him doubt her.
"But anyway, after Ryan you're the biggest. The other girls mostly complain about how disappointing their guys are, 'though Jamie says Paul is amazing at eating pussy." She beamed with pride at him.
"So, as much as I'd like to be over seven inches, that's not how you measure a cock."
Her smile fell. "Well how else am I gonna measure it?"
"Gotta be across the top, from base to tip. Not underneath." He lifted his cock, then drew a line with his finger up its length. "There are like, official studies and stuff and that's how they do it."
She got the tape ready for another scientific reading. "Well why didn't you say that before?"
"You were playing with my cock, why on earth would I stop you?"
She gave him an open-handed thwack on the chest, then grabbed the base of his cock. She held one end of the tape there, slightly more firmly than necessary. With her other hand she ran the tape up its length with her thumb from base to tip.
"Six and a quarter! Are you holding out on me?"
"I gotta be hard. Like hard-hard."
"Ohhhhh. I get to
torture
you!" her face quickly went from glee to an expression he liked to call 'evilicious'.
"Well, actually, yeah. I mean, to a point."
Letting go of the tape, she slowly, gently brushed her fingertips across the very back of his scrotum. Then continued over his balls, and very slowly up the underside of his shaft, stopping before reaching the underside of the head.
"You mean like this?" she tilted her evilicious face to one side.
"hrrrgnn"
"Ah. Yes then." Denying him direct stimulation to the most sensitive parts of his cock, she repeated the same path with her fingertips. He moaned and gasped as she traced its length, twitching at her touch.
"Let's see how you're doing, shall we?" Like throwing a switch, her demeanor had changed from innocently excited to demanding and in control. This time while guiding the tape up his now hard shaft, she made much more of a show of it. She slowly ran the tape up the top of his cock while her fingertips slid up the underside. When she finally reached the very tip, she announced the result.
"Six and half. Oh we can do better than that, can't we?" Releasing his cock and the tape, she rolled off the bed and stripped out of her clothes. His stiff cock landed against his body with a tiny 'smek'.
She looked incredible. Her determined face counterpointed by the soft curves of her hips, her full tits, her trim bush. She was hot, naked, and in charge. He half expected her to put on eye black. "Playtime is over. Time to make this happen" she announced. Evilicious was in full control.
She crawled back up onto the bed and over to him. She took his cock, slowly stroked it a few times, then enveloped it with her mouth. He moaned and gasped as she tongued the head of his shaft. Concentrating on all the places neglected before, she sucked and lapped his cock. He bucked and writhed beneath her, losing himself for the moment.
She lifted her head and looked at him with big, wide eyes. "A little more? Yeah, I think a little more."
She adjusted herself on the bed a bit, maneuvering over him. Her tits brushed his thigh as she took all of him, deep throating his entire shaft in one motion. He gasped again and grabbed her by the hair. He willed himself not to force her down on his cock and instead let his hand follow her movements.
She pulled back, then slowly took him deep again. Then back, then down again, this time nuzzling him when she had taken it all. She kept this up, slowly taking his entire length down her throat, slowly pulling back, then taking him again.
Soon, her expert cock sucking and throat fucking was too much and he was right on the edge. He let go of the fistful of her hair and yelled "OKAY! You Have To Stop Now!"
Immediately she pulled off him, grabbed the tape, and once again firmly held the end to the base of his now rock-hard, aching cock. "hhhnnngggg" He moaned at her touch. Quickly, she ran the tape to the tip and read it.
"Wooo, six and three-quarters! Actually a little over! Good boy!", she announced proudly. Still holding the base of his cock, she squeezed just a little.
"oh fuck, holy fuck" he muttered in response, squirming.
"Think we can get you to seven? Wanna try?"
"Believe me, I've tried. This is a good as it gets." he replied weakly.
Still holding the tape against him, she gave him a few short, quick strokes; as if to be sure seven inches really was out of the question. But his cock was already hard as steel. It didn't seem like there was much hope for more.
"You've been such a good boy, let me take care of you now." With that she started softly stroking his balls with one hand while she held his cock in the other. Quickly taking him back in her mouth, she lapped and kissed under the head of his shaft. She alternated between lip fucking his cock and licking his shaft like a popcicle, while he writhed and gasped.
It didn't take long. The sound he made when he finally came was a combination of a moan and a growl. As he shot his first load of cum across her face and his own tummy, she quickly took him in her mouth to take all the rest. He unloaded waves of cum into her and she swallowed every bit, encouraging his orgasm with more sucking and licking.
By now his cock was super sensitive, but she kept him firmly in her mouth, continuing to lap and suck, getting every last drop, every last spasm, every last orgasmic shudder. With both the pain from the over stimulation of his too-sensitive cock and the pleasure from the incredible orgasm and her talents he was torn between pushing her off or grabbing the back of her head. Instead, he grabbed her shoulder tight and let her go as long as she wanted, while he growled and gasped in response.
Finally she stopped and looked up at him, grinning broadly "Doing okay? Should I keep going?"
"Oh god I need a sec." he lay there recovering while she licked the cum off his tummy. Then she sat up, swiped the cum off her cheek and licked it off her finger.
"Oh! I have an idea!" and without further explanation she scampered out of the room.
"Does it involve a big drink and a snack?!" he called after her.
He heard her rustling around in the kitchen for a bit. She came back holding a big glass of water, an energy bar, and a marker.
"Here, you big baby."
He sat up, gratefully took the water, and began chugging. He wiped out the energy bar in two bites then washed it down. Meanwhile, she'd bounced back up on the bed and was kneeling beside him.
