"Kon'nichiwa. Watashitachiha bajji kakutoku no tame ni kobetsu hōmon de mankowo shea suru gārusurattodesu. Watashitachi ga motto ī suratto ni nareru yō, tetsudatte kuremasen ka?"
Yeah, okay. I used Google translate for this one because I have NO IDEA what she actually said. I sincerely doubt the accuracy of the translation because this LOOKS like more words than she said. I know it was Japanese because I'm passingly familiar with a small smattering the language thanks to a college roommate who unsuccessfully tried to get me into Anime. It's FINE btw. Don't get your hackles up, I was more into real life women at the time and didn't pay much attention to the animated ones. Even in the porn ones.
That day I was in a small hotel near the Raritan Center where the Exxxotica Expo was being held in Edison, New Jersey. This was actually BEFORE my book signing tour in case you were wondering. Someone asked about this story after I told the one about Lucky's so here it is.
I'd taken a train to Edison rather than drive because it was faster than driving and avoided the tolls. Honestly, it feels the only way to avoid tolls in Jersey is to avoid Jersey completely. Seriously. If you have to drive, it's cheaper to go around. But I'm getting off-topic.
I don't normally go to the Expo, but I'd been invited to speak at a panel about my written smut, the stuff I do under an alias, and they'd sent me a nice incentive gift basket and check. They even covered the room. I got there a day early, checked in at the convention center and did all the things I was required to do as a speaker, which in my case amounted to 'not much'. I wandered the building a bit, chatted with a few vendors setting up booths in the main selling area, especially the few selling books and the one guy with boxes of porno comics. Saw a couple of adult actresses and models in plain clothes, which is like being a kid and bumping into your teacher at the grocery store. The similarity is there, but so out of context that there's a disconnect.
Latex fetish model Bianca Beauchamp looks almost unrecognizable in relax-fit jeans and a baggy old sweatshirt. I didn't know her hair is really...
Off-topic.
After getting familiar with everything, an Exxxotica handler (Ha! Still makes me chuckle.) directed me to my hotel, letting me know someone would be along the next day to collect myself and other C-List guests around 3pm to get us through the doors and settled for the 5pm opening to ticket holders. Once settled in, I pulled out my laptop to get some vanilla work done before dinner. By then, I was ready to eat.
Rather than wait for a table for one at the hotel restaurant, I found a seat at the sushi bar to eat my weight in salmon and shrimp, washing it all down with a few glasses of Kirin Ichiban beer. The place wasn't TOO crowded, but there were plenty of other Expo goers and guests present. I chatted with the people near me for a bit before excusing myself and heading up to my room to rattle out some more writing before turning into a vegetable in front of the TV.
There came a polite knock on my door just as the local 10 o'clock news theme started. I had chatted up a few of the models, but none of them were anything but polite. Maybe the Expo needed me to take on another panel or something?
Checking the peephole (Always check the peephole folks! Always), I saw two young Asian women wearing jaunty berets nervously watching my door. Unless I'd slipped into some sort of kung-fu action movie, they didn't LOOK dangerous so I opened the door.
"Kon'nichiwa," the taller of the two said before the pair of them executed short bows, the shorter one extending a cream-colored card to me. I took the card while the taller one continued talking and that's the part I didn't understand a word of.
To be fair, she could have been speaking perfect English and I would have asked her to repeat herself anyway because I was stunned by their outfits. From head to toe, they were dressed like a pervert's version of Girl Scouts- green berets, neck-scarfs, very tight and abbreviated white shirts that didn't even attempt to cover their breasts fully (Single buttons straining to keep them modest. Fabric just sheer enough to let me see the size and shape of their areolas. The shorter girl's larger round underboob visible below the hem. Cleavage deep enough to high dive into safely.), bare bellies with short pleated green skirts that rode low on their hips and hung to mid-thigh and bright white knee socks and shiny black flats.
They both wore sashes with merit badges as well. The taller girl had more badges and carried a tablet computer in her hands. Obviously the 'senior' scout with the shorter girl being her? Pledge?
"I'm sorry," I apologized at last, shaking myself out of my stupor. "I don't speak Japanese. How can I help you? Help you out of those uniforms specifically."
The taller girl, who I finally realized had a name tag sewn to her shirt declaring her to be 'Mai' and the shorter girl 'Tatsuko', grinned with bright white teeth and tapped the card. Writer brain kicked in to capture details- heavy cardstock, off-white to cream, inlaid border of red and gold shaped like an Oriental dragon starting and ending with a symbol that looked like a hand holding a bouquet of three dicks over an aroused vagina. Even the writing on it was inlaid in sharp black, like it had been done with a printing press by hand. Made me think of a high-class wedding announcement or invitation to a fancy-dress gala. What it said, not quite as 'fancy'-
"Hello. We are Girl Sluts sharing pussy door-to-door to earn Badges. Would you help us become better Sluts?"
I looked up to ask if they were for real, only to find both of them standing happily in front of me holding up the front of their skirts. They had identical landing strips standing out in stark contrast to their pale skin- neatly trimmed and measured to the last dark hair. If my sleep shorts hadn't given away what I was thinking before, they knew they had my attention loud and clear now. Stepping back, I let them into the hotel room, checking the hallway behind them but it was empty.
You better believe I made sure the door was locked tight.
With Tatsuko standing demurely in front of us, her hands folded chastely over the pussy she just flashed me not five minutes before, Mai sat down on my lap to explain. The badges on her sash weren't for things like 'Citizenship', 'Basketweaving' and 'Sewing'. There were ones I could easily identify like 'Cocksucking', 'Anal Sex' and 'MFM Threesome' and several I could not. Through a combination of her rapid-fire Japanese, gestures back and forth between herself and her friend and some inspired guess work on my part, I was able to work out that Tatsuko was a new Slut and Mai was her Mentor, helping her get all the badges she'd need.
Just as I worked all that out, thinking it was some sort of kinky game between the two of them, Mai fired up her tablet and opened an App for 'Girl Sluts International' and the symbol I had seen at the top of their card filled the screen. Now, I need to stop here and explain that I'd seen the badges themselves before on Etsy and, as far as I know, they are just supposed to be a kinky lark. Something you put on for a fetish fest or party to show other people what you'd be up to doing. Or sew to a jacket or G-string to wear at a club, I guess. There was at least one vendor booth at the Expo selling them that I could remember.
Naturally, someone took the idea and ran with it, formalizing what you needed to do to 'earn' a badge. I thought it was a nice touch that the opening page of the App had the disclaimer 'Not associated with, but fully supports, the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts around the planet. Seriously, buy the damn cookies. Life's too short to deny yourself ANY pleasures.'.
A few clicks later and I was looking at a list of all the badges, including several neither young woman sported on their sashes. They each had a profile to track their progress on an easy-to-read bar. Mai was working on her second star in 'Cocksucking' while Tatsuko, however, not only had her second star, but had earned a specialty in Bukkake. She blushed and squirmed with pride when I pronounced the word out loud, pointing to her. Mai laughed, then pointed out what badge she wanted me to help her friend with.
