Maing Laura Pregnant

It may be helpful to know about a counselling technique called "desensitising" before reading the counsellor's notes.

The desensitising process is used extensively in counselling, usually to tackle phobias. As an example, someone might have an irrational fear of spiders. He (or she) would start the process of overcoming their phobia by seeing a picture of a spider. Then they would see a spider in a bottle and so on.

Finally they would be able to face a spider loose in the same room without having a panic attack.

COUNSELLOR'S TREATMENT NOTES

Private And Confidential When Completed

Client's Name(s) - Laura & Donald Simpson.

Other People Involved - Clive Simpson (Donald's half brother)

THE PRESENTING PROBLEM

Donald can't make Laira pregnant, despite taking approved fertility aids and appropriate exercise. Laura is fertile.

In principle, Donald's half-brother has agreed to take over Donald's bedroom duties. Donald continues to try to fertilise one of his wife's eggs. If he isn't successful by October then Donald and Laura will go to a private island "to breed' with Donald's wife.

Donald had moral problems with Laura having extra-marital sex. He resolved them, but he still has psychological problems.

Donald is over-possessive of Laura.

He doesn't like Laura wearing sexy clothes to parties. He doesn't stop her wearing them, but he doesn't like her displaying her cleavage

Donald is blind to the problem that his wife "breeding" with his half-brother will cause him. He thinks that he "can handle it". I don't think he can. He isn't in denial, he genuinely thinks that all will be okay once Laura has a baby. He is being unrealistic, and Laura doesn't help her husband to confront his psychological problems.

Laura is obsessed with becoming a parent. She fears that Donald will "chicken out". Dealing with future problems merely increases the risk that Donald will not allow her "to breed" with his half-brother or any other man

Laura is being short-sighted. She knows how possessive Donald is, but feels that "silence is golden".

DESENSITISING

I got Donald and Laura to adopt a desensitising process.

Donald will have to deal with the strain of his wife being naked with Clive. Donald is so possessive that he doesn't like Laura dressing for parties and showing off lots of her cleavage.

STEP 1

The first desensitivity step was for Donald to see Laura being semi-naked with another man present. It tackled Donald's over-possessive nature. It was important that Clive should NOT be the man.

If Donald couldn't bear Laura being semi- nude in public then he wouldn't be able to handle the stress of his half-brother seeing Laura naked and much more.

They agreed to go to a nudist beach and for Laura to go topless for no more than 10 minutes. They agreed a safe word, Using this would end their stay at the nude beach immediately.

STEP 1 REVIEW

Afterwards, I had a review session with Laura and Donald.

By mutual agreement they stayed at the nudist beach longer than first agreed and Laura also went from being topless to being completely nude. Donald even had acquired a male nudist friend.

He was happy for Laura to be naked among non-threatening "respectable naturists". The respectable group included 2 old, gay men and those who congregated near the North entrance to the nudist beach to whom nudity is non-sexual.

Alongside the expected nudity, Donald had unexpectedly seen unsavoury, unsettling and illegal open-air sexual acts. I questioned them why they had stayed and watched. Donald became very uncomfortable, so I stopped probing.

But the big thing that he found was that Laura was a penis worshipper. He felt belittled. Laura dug her heels in and attacked her husband, calling him "a controlling prude".

I had a separate session with Donald about penis worship. Donald seems to realise that women are programmed to respond to men. In ancient times the women probably concentrated on penis size for evolutionary reasons.

I asked what he thought about Laura admiring 2 men who walked around with erect cocks. He deflected me with an answer about Julian Alden Weir's "Study of a Male Nude Leaning on a Staff' representing the gay men but also

Julian Hsing's "Vacationers" represented the 2 men with the erect penis.

Both paintings were acceptable in respectable art galleries. So both the flaccid and the erect penis are aesthetic. Thereafter it is for the person viewing both the engorged and the resting penis to decide which they preferred.

This was too glib an answer. It only told me that he knew more about art than I do. He avoided telling me what he felt or even which he preferred.

Donald was playing intellectual games. He was wasting valuable time. He risked making the biggest mistake of his life if he blithely allowed Clive to make Laura pregnant. He wouldn't be at all prepared for the psychological fall out.

He could, and most probably would, suffer a sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I considered it highly likely Donald would have a nervous breakdown and I thought their marriage would fall apart.

STEP 2 - TOUCH

I needed Donald to experience a yet more dramatic step. I told him that he must ask Laura to have a nude, full body massage from a man. He was to ask Laura before our next scheduled meeting. That gave him only 3 days.

That took Donald out of the safe intellectual world. It returned him into the world of hard decisions and physical actions. The action of him asking Laura to be naked and touched by another man challenged his attempted dominance of his wife. It would be like opening Pandora's box. Once Pandora's box was open things could never be as they were.

Donald was shocked.

THE 3 SUB-STAGES

I specified that the man should himself be naked. I said that it shouldn't be Clive, because it would be less dramatic if Laura or Donald didn't want to proceed. For preference the naked massage man should be a stranger and not someone Donald or Laura met regularly.

Donald agreed.

I also instructed him to ask Laura for more. He was ask his wife to agree to allow Clive to give her 2 full body erotic massages.

For this first massage Clive must be fully clothed and for the 2nd he would be fully naked.

Donald agreed to this as well.

There could be no turning back. But either Donald or Laura could stop the process.