Madame Madelyn 01

Madame Madelyn 01

[The Friday night opening of the Middleton Fall Renaissance Festival]

I mean, I was just strolling around the Middleton Fall Renaissance Festival, that's all and since my community college actually offers a fortune telling course, I mean, why not, right?

"Hmm, this must be Mrs. Madders fortune telling tent, hmm."

[The flap to Madame Madelyn's tent of fortunes flaps open]

"Ahh, the divine man child, Ryan, sit man child of the night and allow Madame Madelyn's Tarot cards spill the tea of your future fortunes as you inhale the scent of thy cleavage perfume and thy THC spiked incense sticks, ahh."

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

Well, you always have to pay the lady first, right? And I would say that I slipped the lady on the side a $10 spot, but it was more like she just snatched it.

"[Card 1 flip and finger taps] ahh, the town crier, [card 2 flip and finger taps] ahh, the seeker of fortunes card [card 3 flip and finger taps] ahh, the blacked out unseen card [card 4 flip and finger taps] ahh, the ole east-west directional dual arrowhead card, signifying things go both ways, ahh!"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

Well, I guess the interpretation of the cards costs extra.

"Ahh, my divine man child Ryan, Madame Madelyn's spirits have heard and foreseen thou has a deep desire to seek a peek at thy unseen boobs and the east-west line goes both ways as the dual arrowheads imply, my man child, ahh."

"Oh, I mean, spin one more round of the Tarot cards then, Mrs. Madders, I mean, Madame Madelyn."

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

Well, just who is that lady just off to side anyways, huh?

"[Card 5 flip and taps] ahh, the sun of all suns card, [card 6 flip and taps] ahh, the master scholar card [card 7 flip and taps] ahh, the cave of promise card, [card 8 flip and taps], mm-hmm, the witching hour card, ahh!"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, since your son already left for college on the coast, you're considering caving into my previous advances and I can help you close up your fortune telling tent tonight at the witching hour midnight and I'll get a better view of your sheer costume, Cha-Ching!"

"(Rats, I forgot about Josh already being gone off to college), ahh, the spirits have foretold of your persistence my man child gamer dude, ahh!"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

Well, I guess you still have to pay the lady even when you guess the reading of the cards.

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

And I guess it costs double.

"[Card 9 flip and taps] ahh, the bridge gate risen card, [card 10 flip and taps] ahh, the donkey card [card 11 flip and taps] ahh, the barking dog card [card 12 flip and taps], ahh, the harvest moon card, thy spirits have proclaimed, thou man child, Ryan, thou pass at thee for a piece of ass yelping doggie style, ahh, must wait until after the harvest moon, ahh!"

Well, I just held up another $10 spot to beat the snapping fingers.

[Mm-hmm, snatch, snap, snap anyways]

"Oh, mm-hmm, it's a fall festival, Madame Madelyn and mm-hmm, the full harvest moon is tomorrow night, so, thee and thou must obey the cards, ahh!"

"(Rats, I didn't think about either) ahh [card 13 flip and tap] ahh, where the great river begins card [card 14 flip and tap] ahh, the Yee Ole Faithful Geyser card [card 15 flip and tap] ahh, the joined rings promise card [card 16 flip and tap] ahh, the puppy dog eyes card, ahh!"

Oh, I just made a $10 spot paper airplane and flew flung it at the lady off to the side, so.

[Boink in the eye, ouch!]

Oh, relax, the snapping fingers cashier lady off to the side had a sheer facial veil on, so.

"Fine, Madame Madelyn, I accept your sad eyes promise to satisfy my initial needs and urges by using your river mouth to make my Yee Ole Faithful Geyser blast off before I slam spank your booty over the back of the couch that I 've played so many video games on, but, um, um, ahh, ooh [spies something], give me that second deck of Tarot cards!"

[Snatches the second deck of Tarot, flings another paper airplane $10 spot and shuffles the deck!]

"[Poke, ouch!] May the Tarot cards be against you for shuffling them, Ryan Renders!"

Huh, I knew that voice. And they should put it on the box if Tarot cards weren't meant to be shuffled [reads the box and huh, there it was. Do not shuffle for fear of fire and brimstone raining down from jealous, yet estranged, hubby, so, huh]

"Ooh [card 1 flip and tap] ooh, the dry desert card!"

"Ahh, huh?"

"Ooh [card 2 flip and tap] ooh, the cloth with a rip in it card!"

"Ahh, huh?"

"Ooh [card 3 flip and tap] ooh, the cleansing waterfall card!"

"Ahh, huh?"

"Ooh [card 4 flip and tap] ooh, the lost in ecstasy card!"

"Ahh, huh?"

"Mm-hmm, thy shall dry off thou fresh out of the shower with vigor and with a terrycloth towel and if it's that good, mm-hmm, thou shall shimmy, shake, moan, groan and vibrate! Ooh!"

"Ahh (rats, that sounds amazing!) Ahh, um, mom, I mean, Madame Mildred, work the fortune telling tent for the rest of the night because I need a shower! Quick! And bad! Really, really bad!"

OMG, I knew that I knew that voice off to the side!

"OMG, Mrs. Mrs. Madders? That's you behind the sheer flowing robes and veil?"

"That's right, sonny and by the way, Ryan, my adult daughter, Madame Madelyn gets her tits from me, so, mm-hmm, you might need two terrycloth towels! Also, if you haven't trade marked that, I wouldn't mind stealing it. Also, also, mm-hmm, you two had better skedaddle because, mm-hmm, Ryan's father is stagger stepping towards our festival tent right now, so?"

Well, who knew that fancy festival tents had a rear escape flap, huh?

[Mm-hmm, fingers snap, snap]

LOL, and who knew there was a quick exit fee?

[The flap to Madame Madelyn's tent of fortunes flaps open]

"Ahh, the father of the divine man child, Ryan, sit my friend and get lost in the biggest boobs in all of Middleton, ahh."

[Slips off one of the fancy sheer blouses]

"Oh, well then, if I weren't here to ask Madame Madelyn to marry me and help me raise my adult son and to do whatever she can with my young adult daughter, who thinks that dating a guy named Switchblade is a good idea, um, that's the place I would like to get lost in, so?"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

There's a backup lady off to the side?

"[Card 1 flip and finger taps] ahh, the big red X card [card 2 flip and finger taps] ahh, the rising star card [card 3 flip and finger taps] ahh, the morning coffee card [card 4 flip and finger taps] ahh, the setting sun, card, ahh!"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

"[Pays up] well, Madame Mildred, what do those cards mean and would I understand it better if one more of your sheer blouses was removed, hmm?"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

"[Grunts and pays again, but the sheer blouse slips down]"

"Ahh, Monsieur Ray Renders, the big red X spirits have already foretold, ahh, that Madame Madelyn will get a rise out of your son every morning over coffee after you depart for work and before the divine man child, Ryan, goes to his day classes at the community college, ahh, heed the warnings of the big red X spirits, Monsieur Ray Renders, ahh!"

[Fingers snap, snap just from the side, mm-hmm]

"[Ignores the snapping fingers like he's going to ignore the warnings of the big red X spirits] I'm not paying up anymore until I see the biggest tits in Middleton in the flesh, so, forget it, facial veil lady in the shadows."

"[Fingers snap, snap coming out of the shadows, mm-hmm] dad, you have to pay up if you want to see Madame Mildred's monstrous tits! And don't you think you should divorce mom before you marry Madame Madelyn, hmm? [Fingers snap, snap, mm-hmm]"

"OMG, Rena, what are you doing here as my daughter and why can I see through your costume? And (chuckles), we don't have to say anything about tonight to your mother, so?"

"[Fingers snap, snap, mm-hmm!] Oh, please, my costume is more than I wear to the beach and I'm 18 and I'm in training to be Madame Missy next fall at the Middleton Fall Renaissance Festival, mm-hmm! Also, the entire wallet, mm-hmm and I guess I will be dating Switchblade after all now, mm-hmm!"

End Madame Madelyn 01