"Knock-knock!" The man standing in her doorway had tousled hair, a crooked grin, and twinkling eyes that she knew well.
"Tony!" Ash jumped up from her desk, pulled him into her office, and closed the door. "You're here! It's so good to see you!" She wrapped her arms around him for a hug, but he stiffened in surprise, and she felt something firm poking against her hip. "What's...?" She looked down and grinned. "Oh! Well, _hello_, sir."
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Ash!" Tony took a quick step backward, turning bright red and trying to cover his erection with his bag. "I didn't mean to... You hugged me so quickly, I didn't have a chance to..."
"Alright, alright," she laughed. "It's not a big deal. Sit. breathe." She gestured to the couch by the window behind her desk and turned her chair to face him. "I take it from your reaction that wasn't the plan when you texted to say you were in town for the week and wanted to get lunch?"
"No, of course not!" He collapsed onto the couch with his bag in his lap, looking mortified. "I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't have any intentions like that, I really am in town for business..."
"Long flight for a booty call, all I'm saying," she teased.
"Okay, okay," he smiled, trying to follow her lead and laugh it off. "Look, I'm on this new medication, and it, uh... well, a side effect is..."
"It may cause a monster throbbing erection when you meet a friend for lunch?"
"First of all," he objected, "it's not 'throbbing.'"
"Could have fooled me," she snorted.
"And second, yes! One of the side effects is an enhanced libido."
"I have _so many_ questions about these pills, but go on."
"It's gorgeous out, right, so I walked over here from my client's office, and because it's summer, women are walking around in short skirts and low-cut tops..."
"And then you got here and saw I was wearing a skirt too?"
"Yes, I mean, no! I'm saying I had a, you know, an involuntary reaction before I got here."
"Oh, a _reaction_," she laughed. "Is that what we're calling it? Do these _reactions_ happen often?"
"Um..." He laughed and shrugged. "A few times a day?"
"I see." She raised an eyebrow at him. "And what do you do when you can't grind your reaction against a girl you used to hook up with in college?"
"There was no grinding! And I said I was sorry, you surprised me!"
"I know, I'm just poking fun at you." She paused, then added, "I mean, you already poked something at me, so it's only fair."
He groaned.
"But for real," she said, leaning in conspiratorially. "What do you do when it happens?"
"Well, uh," He looked deeply awkward. "If I'm at home, I can just, you know, take care of it."
"Right, right, right. What about at work?"
"I try not to draw any attention. I stay seated at my desk or hold my bag in front of me. I just think about something else and hope it goes away."
"How long does that take?"
"Depends. Sometimes an hour?"
"Seriously? You don't, like, go rub one out in a bathroom?"
"We have shared restrooms in the office. There's not enough privacy."
"Huh." She sat back and looked thoughtful. "That sounds really uncomfortable."
"One day it got really bad..." He hesitated for a moment. "And I snuck into the director's private office while she was at lunch."
"Shut up!"
"Seriously. Felt like it took forever. I was terrified someone would come in before I finished." He sighed. "Most days, it's not too bad. After a couple weeks, I adapted. But then I had to travel here to work on-site with a client for a week. I don't have a desk or anywhere I can hide out, so it's super awkward. And it's only Monday! I was barely able to keep myself distracted this morning, and then the walk over here... Again, I'm so sorry."
"It's alright, this is easily the most interesting thing that's happened in this office all month. But it does raise a question." She leaned closer. "What are you going to do _now_? We can't go get lunch with you in this condition."
"Um. Do you have a bathroom I can visit?"
"No, same problem as you. This floor shares the one bathroom. Lots of stalls, but not private enough for you to take care of business."
"I could wait for it to calm down?" He looked flustered.
"I don't have _that_ long a lunch break," she smirked.
"I... uh... I guess I could go back to my hotel and..."
"You should do it here," she blurted.
"What?"
"You," she gestured at him. "Should take care of that," she gestured at his crotch. "Here in my office!"
"Like... you'd leave?"
"Oh, no," she shook her head. "Sorry, I'm the head of HR, there's too much protected information in this room. Legally, I can't leave you alone in here."