Loving Lisa Bk 01 Ch 01 Her Realization

Author's note: this will be a long series (at least 3 books of 10+ chapters each) and it has a bit of a slow build.

After a quick makeup and hair check in the mirror of her minivan, Lisa Hansen strode into the building she always considered "her" branch of Western State Bank. It was well past 9 in the morning on a Monday, and both of her morning tellers, Terry and Shawna, as well as her branch VP, Annie, were at their desks. A quick look around showed that coffee had been brewed and the morning papers set out neatly on the coffee table in the lobby, which looked more like the living room of a well-appointed home than the entry area of a bank.

After briefly greeting all of her employees, she entered her large office, surveyed the pictures of her and her team competing in various charity events, and sat down behind her large walnut desk. She started her morning habit of a quick read of her emails to see if any customers, or someone at corporate, needed her attention. After she was done, she would go talk to each of her employees in turn, and greet any customers who were taking advantage of the free coffee and newspapers.

Lisa's later arrival and her well-appointed office were a reflection of more than 25 years of service, and the exceptional performance of her branch. In other circumstances, someone with her qualifications and record would be part of the corporate leadership team, but she had chosen to stay as branch president of one of the two WSB branches in Rogers, Nebraska, for a number of reasons. First and foremost was her husband's management position at a small trona mine outside of town, a distant second was the comfort they both took in small town life. Not that Rogers was ridiculously small - it had a mall, hotels, nice parks and good schools. But its residents certainly had a set of small town attitudes that sometimes made Lisa chafe.

Lisa and her husband Bill had raised their two children, Maisie and Robbie, in Rogers. Both she and Bill had been sad to watch their children move hundreds of miles away to attend college, and still farther away after they graduated. Lisa's minivan was the last obvious remnant of her child-rearing years - she had enjoyed her children, but it was a lot easier to be an accomplished 50 year-old empty nester than a 30 year-old working mom juggling day care and a job where you couldn't roll in 20 minutes after the opening bell. Her empty nest also gave her more time to work out, which she did at home six days a week.

Lisa would say that she liked to look good. Other, less charitable, observers might call her vain. No matter your perspective, it was obvious that Lisa spent quite a bit of time on her body and her overall appearance for the simple reason that she liked to turn heads. As a 5' 10" with long brunette hair, olive skin, and long legs, she had the body type that women's clothes were designed for. Though Rogers had relatively little to offer in terms of fashion - and, until lately, she didn't have the extra income to spend much - Lisa had become quite adept at finding business appropriate, form-fitting yet tasteful outfits on a budget. Banking culture being what it was - low entry pay coupled with high expectations for professional dress - Lisa often took her new employees under her wing for a short shopping trip to the Rogers mall, where she would show them how to buy a couple of nice outfits for her welcome gift of $100.

Today, for example, Lisa was wearing a pair of black slacks that showed her firm, high rear end, a short sleeve white silk blouse that showed off her toned arms, and a black vest. Her small breasts were hidden by the vest so she wore a very light bralette, and her thong kept her from showing panty lines. As usual, she was wearing a pair of high heel pumps. Her jewelry was inexpensive, simple and elegant - pearl studs with a matching pearl pendant with a silver chain. The small wedding ring Bill had bought her when they first got married was the only ring she wore.

After working through her emails - just a bunch of what Bill would call "horseshit from corporate" - Lisa touched base with each of her employees. Her first stop was at the teller station of Shawna, a petite young woman with red hair, green eyes, a quick laugh and a curvy figure that got her plenty of attention. Twenty-five year-old Shawna was in her second year of a relationship with a young cowboy named Dale. Dale worked on a ranch a few miles out of town, but spent most of his free time at Shawna's small apartment downtown. Lisa had met him once or twice, and he was certainly cowboy handsome, wiry and tanned, with piercing blue eyes and short blonde hair. She also knew a bit about him from the many little chats that she and Shawna shared, and Lisa had come to believe that Dale was a nice guy who somehow decided to take on the challenge of a relationship with a firecracker like Shawna.

Lisa never worried about Shawna - she embodied confidence and excitement about the challenges of her daily life, and Lisa had her pegged for promotion as soon as a slot opened up somewhere.

When Lisa approached Shawna to ask about her weekend, she shared a story of a date with Dale at a nice restaurant and then a bit of what Shawna called "special services" at her place. From other conversations, Lisa knew that if Dale and Shawna's relationship fell apart, it wouldn't be from lack of adventurous sex, much of it led by Shawna, who was both insatiable and pretty kinky. Lisa often found herself excusing herself from some of Shawna's conversations when they became graphic, though the other employees didn't seem to mind.

Terry, the other teller, was a bit of a different story. Lisa thought that Terry was probably the prettiest of her employees, but where Shawna was an expert at using just the right makeup and buying the right clothes to make the most of her considerable beauty, Terry sometimes looked like she bought her clothes at a potato sack factory and got makeup advice from a grade schooler. When she had taken Terry on her shopping trip, she saw a lovely figure and, despite the Maybelline sunrise on her face, Lisa believed that there was a pretty face hidden under the layers somewhere, no matter what Terry did to camouflage it. Terry seemed to be between boyfriends, which suited Lisa fine. She, Annie and Shawna had spent an inordinate amount of time soothing Terry's insecurities and doling out advice before Terry's latest relationship fell apart. Lisa and Terry had a quick chat where she learned that Terry had spent the weekend binging her latest Netflix anime find.

After she was sure that everything was fine with her tellers, Lisa dropped in to Annie's office, where Annie was carefully inspecting her short blonde afro, her chocolate brown skin glowing with moisturizer and her simple makeup accenting her lips and eyes. Annie was bisexual - recently she'd moved in with Linda, an insurance agent a few years her senior, but she had been in relationships with both men and women in the few years that Lisa had known her. Annie was also her most experienced and most mature employee, and Lisa and Annie traded off duties opening and closing the branch. Annie also liked to gossip, and by her eager look, Lisa could tell that she had something juicy to share.

"Lisa, do you remember Brad Allen?" Annie asked. "He coached your kids in soccer a few years back."

"Yeah, I do - all the kids loved him. I know his daughter, Jodi, moved to Denver. What's his wife's name, Ella?"

"Yeah, that's the bitch's name."

Lisa smirked - you always knew where you stood with Annie - and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

Annie explained: "Well, she works in Linda's office, and you should have heard her talk about how she had Brad wrapped around her finger. You know the type - no more blowjobs after the wedding, sex once a week if that much, Brad did most of the cooking and cleaning as well as keeping up the house, even though she worked less than him. She still looks good, I'll give her that, but she totally took the guy for granted, and last week he told her he was leaving. Turns out he's having an affair with a single mom about 10 years younger than him. The funny thing is that Linda showed me a picture of his new girlfriend, and she's not half as good looking as Ella, plus she's a little pudgy. But she has a nice smile, and I'll bet she gives Brad what he wasn't getting at home, especially in the bedroom. Serves Ms. Ella right, in my book. Plus, she's been complaining about Linda to their boss, for no good reason - she was just angry that Linda booked way more business than her lazy ass."

Lisa replied, "I'm sorry to hear that. Our Maisie was a friend of Jodi's. I hope Jodi is handling it well. She seemed like such a nice person, just like her Dad."

"Well, if she is a nice young woman like your daughter, I'm sure she can understand that we only get one life, and nobody should be sentenced to a lifetime of mediocre sex just because one partner can't be bothered. I mean, if it's a disability or something, I get it, but people have needs, and partners should satisfy those needs."

Annie seemed to be winding up for a long discourse on her theory of sex and relationships, but, to Lisa's relief, the ring of her desk phone cut their conversation short.

Lisa quickly excused herself. While she didn't mind that her employees talked frankly about their sexual needs and experiences, Lisa wasn't comfortable with those discussions, and her responses were generally noncommittal when the topic came up. Lisa had been raised in a house where sex was rarely discussed, and when it was, it was with dire warnings about what happened to women who let men get too far. Lisa was a proud feminist, and her beliefs about the rights and treatment of women had only gotten stronger after working her way up in a male-dominated culture. She knew her mother's treatment of sex and the role of women was fucked up, to use a technical term. But she hadn't been able to shake the influence of her upbringing on her attitudes towards sexuality.

Back in her office, Lisa thought about Brad and Ella, and how they weren't the first couple who she and Bill knew that were getting divorced now that they were empty nesters. Lisa knew of a couple of others who had separated in just the last year. She also thought, ruefully, that by the standards of her and Bill's sex life, Brad was doing pretty well. Oral sex had never been part of Lisa's repertoire. And over the years, frequency of sex had declined, and when it did happen, it was always missionary style.

As for the rest of Annie's indictment of Ella, Lisa realized that she was in something of the same boat. Even though Bill worked longer hours than she did as chief engineer at the trona mine on the edge of town, she relied on him to do a little more of the cooking, all of the home maintenance and repair, and a number of other chores around the house. Unlike Ella, however, she wasn't disliked by her co-workers, and she often told Bill how much she appreciated him. In fact, she bragged to her co-workers and friends about Bill, especially when she knew he was within earshot. Though their marriage had a rocky start with an unplanned pregnancy that she still regretted, other than the lackluster sex (by Annie's standard), she felt that their bond was pretty strong.

Her firstborn, Maisie, was now a college graduate and working, but the pain of the unplanned pregnancy still haunted her at low moments. Despite her restrictive upbringing, Lisa had a string of boyfriends in high school, many of them popular jocks. Back then, it was a more innocent time, and boys weren't exposed to as much sexual content as they are now. Lisa loved going out on dates with boys and making out for hours, going so far as to be completely undressed with her date in the back seat of his car as they exchanged deep kisses and intimate touches. But her dates never progressed beyond touching and kissing, and they always ended with her finishing her date with her hand. As she entered college, she continued to have extensive make out sessions with boys. The heavy petting would make Lisa extremely wet, but she never had an orgasm with her boyfriends. And, though she touched herself at home in her bed, and felt some kind of release, it was only after she experienced her first real orgasm during intercourse that she realized what she had been missing.

Bill had been the man to help her explore her body and learn how to experience pleasure during intercourse. His soft voice in her ear as he slowly penetrated her with his condom wrapped and extremely hard cock had gotten her to finally let a man inside her. After their first few times having intercourse, Lisa had her first real orgasm when they were making love one afternoon in her dorm bed. After that, she finally knew what it felt like to really lust for a man. She craved the feeling of lying under Bill, who was 6'3" and 220 pounds of muscle, as he thrust rhythmically into her, bringing her to the edge as she clawed at his back and wrapped her legs around him when she came. Over the first few weeks that they became lovers, they developed a routine that began with intimate deep kissing and ended with Lisa on her back, guiding Bill inside and meeting his thrusts as he pushed her, then himself, over the edge. During this time, Lisa felt like she was walking around campus in a daze, and that everything that didn't involve lovemaking with her strong, gentle lover was a sideshow to her sexual awakening.

But it all ended on one day when they discovered that Bill was out of condoms during a furious make out session. He apologized to Lisa, and in their short discussion of what to do, they both decided they would do it bare and Bill would pull out. But, as Lisa was approaching her climax, as usual, she wrapped her legs and arms around Bill, who, unaccustomed to feeling her soft tight insides bare, ejaculated deep in her womb. The consequences were a hurried wedding, early motherhood, and a bachelors' degree in business, because it was something she knew she could earn money with.

Ever since her pregnancy, Bill and Lisa's lovemaking had taken on a different tone. She no longer wrapped her arms and legs around Bill as she reached her climax, though he still satisfied her when they made love. And, though she had imagined that someday she would work up the courage to try oral sex, and also to try different positions, their experiementation abruptly ended, and to this day missionary was the only position in which they had intercourse.

In an uncomfortable moment of clarity, Lisa realized that she had slammed the door on her sexuality because when it came out that fateful night, her life had been inalterably changed by a loss of control. Better to be in control of their sex lives than to let herself off the chain and risk another disaster. She realized this was illogical, but since when in the world has logic intruded on relationships?

Though Lisa believed that her and Bill's marriage was stronger than Brad and Ella's, she knew that Bill was frustrated with their sex life, and maybe other aspects of their marriage. Since he was the ultimate strong, silent type, Lisa had to infer his frustration from a few observations. First, his habit of one martini at night on the weekends had slid into one every night, and then two. Second, she knew that he masturbated to porn in his office, having peeked in on him a couple of times in the late evening and seeing him, pants down, stroking his cock to the light of his computer screen. Luckily, he had not seen her, and she had chosen to just avoid his office during the later part of the evening. She thought it was a pretty good compromise, since she clearly wasn't ready to do anything to change the status quo of the sexual component of their marriage.

Lisa shook her head slightly as she thought about this troubling subject. In her defense, they did still have intercourse, even though Lisa had recently gone through menopause and was experiencing some of the vaginal dryness that usually accompanies it. That was easily remedied with some lube she had purchased and had Bill use on the rare nights they engaged in sex. Lisa was so shy about talking about sex that she and Bill had a very subtle hand signal that she would employ on nights that she was willing to engage, where she caressed the palm of his hand gently with her fingertips. That signal was usually given after dishes were done, and she and Bill would retire to the bedroom. Instead of her usual PJ pants, Lisa would don a flannel or silk long length nightgown that she thought was pretty. Bill and she would kiss for a few minutes, with her hand stroking his cock as it hardened, and his hand stroking her vulva and gently caressing her clit. Then, Bill would put some lube on his cock, and she would pull up her nightgown, spread her legs and guide him inside. Bill's gentle thrusts would yield an orgasm for Lisa, preceded by a few whispered "yes" and "right there" comments, and then he would announce his finish with a low, guttural groan as he emptied himself into her still tight vagina. After intercourse, Lisa would excuse herself to use the bathroom, ejecting what she thought of as his oyster, his glob of semen, into the toilet. Then, she would come back to bed and read a book, while he turned to his side and fell asleep.

Lisa felt herself becoming a little aroused as she thought of their sex. Even though Bill's martinis and lack of exercise had taken a bit of a toll on his body, she still loved his weight on top of her and felt his strength as they had intercourse. Also, she always had thought that his cock was the perfect fit for her tight vagina. Compared to her high school and college boyfriends, he was a bit bigger, and Lisa felt that he stretched her perfectly and hit all the right places to take her over the edge. If tonight wasn't his monthly poker night, Lisa would have probably stroked his palm after dishes.

LIsa's reverie about her marriage was interrupted by Terry and a new customer, and the rest of the day passed as most of them did in Rogers, uneventfully.

That night at their house, after Lisa finished the chicken caesar salad she had purchased on the way home, her earlier talk with Annie prompted her to do something that she had never done before, or even really considered. She walked into Bill's office and turned on his computer. The browser opened automatically. Looking at the history, there was nothing but financial and news sites. She opened up the start menu and noticed that Bill had installed a second browser program. She started that and looked at the history, and realized that she had hit snoopers paydirt.

Lisa had never really watched porn. She masturbated a couple times a year when Bill was on a hunting or business trip, and for that her imagination and her hand seemed to suffice. Because she was a concerned and involved parent, she had read some articles on the effects of porn on kids. The descriptions she read there featured a world of plasticized bimbos performing athletic sex acts that would never happen between normal couples. She also had heard her co-workers talk about porn and how it shaped the expectations of their boyfriends.

Their feelings were a mixed bag. Shawna and Dale watched porn together - Shawna said that they both realized that some of it was fake, but that a lot of it was really hot. Lisa knew that Shawna engaged in some pretty kinky sex. For example, when Shawna had taken some antibiotics for her complexion that interfered with her birth control, she and Dale had engaged exclusively in oral and anal sex. Lisa had been both shocked and fascinated that a woman that she respected and liked, who seemed every bit as normal as her, could enjoy those acts, especially repeatedly allowing Dale to penetrate her anally.