Deb stared at the form in the mirror. A large blob of flesh stared back at her. She tried to think back to a time when there was a slender woman looking back at her, but such a memory escaped her. It seemed so long ago. Was she 18? Was she 20? She couldn't recall, but it was at least 20 years ago. She noticed the new insults beginning visited in the form of wrinkles around her eyes. Wasn't being terminally fat enough? Now nature reminded her that she was fat and old. Too old to regain the figure that danced in her dreams, eluding her in her waking hours. She sighed deeply and went about the business of preparing for the day. Thank heaven for winter. A heavy woman's favorite time of year, when you could cover up a lot with bulky sweaters and heavy coats. But it wasn't as if she was fooling anyone. Especially not herself.
Dressed to go and face the day, she opened the front door and made her way down the drive to her car. She always parked near the street, just in case the extra 40 steps might be the magic cure. She opened the car door and sat down. Seat belt affixed, she cranked the car to let it warm up. She looked about the neighborhood, waiting for the engine to signal it was ready with the familiar hum. She noticed the boxes piled outside the house next door. Another new neighbor. That house had sold at least three times since she had moved in two years after her divorce. That had been seven years ago. Three new neighbors in five years had to be a record. She noted that the boxes weren't the usual liquor boxes or other grocery store hand-me-downs. This family actually used moving boxes, all seeming to be neatly labeled for the room it would occupy and the contents therein. She thought to herself "Don't you hate neat people?". She was a neat freak, too and all her friends constantly reminded her of how much that grated on the nerves of the average person.
The engine settled into the steady hum that indicated she was free to go. She shifted into reverse and turned slightly in the seat to check for oncoming traffic. All clear. She headed out and into her day. As she drove past the house next door, she noticed a man coming down the front walk with more boxes neatly stacked for the trash men. She saw past the stack to a handsome face and a tight, fit body. "Sheesh! Lord save me from neighbors who jog or otherwise flaunt their physical fitness. It makes the rest of us look bad." As she drove away, she noticed a raised hand above the boxes. She tried to wave back, but was already down the street to far when she had noticed. He must have seen her giving him the once over. Not only had she lost her figure and her looks, now she had lost her subtlety.
Sitting behind the desk at work, she silently cursed the PC. It was his fault she had grown so wide. She had been merely pleasingly plump when she met that thing. A promotion, it was called. They should have been honest and called it the demise of all hopes at ever having a normal size waist. She had gone from a floor supervisor to a training maven. Now, she spent most of her time sitting at that infernal thing, munching sweets and salty snacks retrieved from its damnable partner, the snack machine. And the soda machine was in on it too. They beckoned her, cajoling her in to purchasing security blankets in Twinkie wrappers. Whenever a project decided to misbehave, she could count on the machines from hell to rear their ugly heads. First the PC would swallow whole a day and a half of work, then his cronies would entice her to sacrifice her body to the training gods but consuming chips and brownies, cookies and pretzels. And it was shaping up to be one of those days. Hell, who was she kidding. It was one of those weeks. One of those months. Hell, the entire year had been piss poor. Ah, quitting time, wherefore art thou?
Back at home, in her warm house, she settled in to pay her homage to the television gods. Another offering to the gods, this time of popcorn. Perhaps a little ice cream, just to be sure the harvest of shows would flourish. And then time to exercise. Walk into the kitchen and do the dishes. Take the trash to the curb. Bundled up like an Eskimo, she trundled out the back door and down to the street. She dropped the bag into the waste bin and turned to walk back uphill to the house. As she turned, she heard a pleasant voice shouting "Hello, neighbor!" in her direction. She looked around and saw him standing across the drive, wearing a sweat suit. Jogging. She knew it. She mustered a smile and called back a greeting. Then he did the unthinkable. A thing that neighbors do not do. Not anymore. Not since granny was a young one. He walked up to her side of the drive and introduced himself. With outstretched hand, he said "I'm Robert Thomlin. My friends call me Bobby." She took the hand briefly, a little shake.
"Deborah MacLamore. My friends call me Deborah." He smiled and let out a short laugh. His eyes danced with glee, catching the glow of the street light. He looked at her. Straight in the eyes, no less. He actually made eye contact and then he started...what were those things called again?...a conversation. He chatted away about where he was from, how he had bought the house for a song from the poor couple who was divorcing and how he really enjoyed good friends. She smiled politely, noticing his straight-toothed smile and the dimples that played on his cheeks as he smiled or laughed. He was beautiful. She had never used that word to describe a man, but he was. "Either REALLY married or gay" she thought to herself. She tuned back into the conversation as she heard him say "So, would you like to come?" She wanted to shout yes, but she wasn't sure what he was inviting her to. But a guy, married or gay or whatever had actually asked her to show up somewhere, sometime for something. How long had it been? She was married so long, too long. And only two dates since the divorce three years ago. The idea that someone would ask her anywhere was exciting. Fat girls aren't asked out much, even by friends to dinner parties. Perhaps the "normals" are afraid "her type" will eat the other guests if they run out of buffet tidbits.
Deb smiled as graciously as she could, then said yes. She sounded so matter-of-fact. Like invitations were everyday occurrences. They were, out there in Normal World. But the big problem was - what had she accepted an invitation to? Bobby smiled a winning, charming smile, then helped out by mapping out the details for the soiree. "It won't be a big bash. Just a housewarming thing. My sister insists. She says it is the thing to do when you buy your first house. I'll have some old friends over, family, you know. The usual. And, of course, at least one new friend. It'll start about 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, and last until 4:00 p.m. or until everyone gets bored and runs away! Just come over when you feel like it. Stay as long as you can. I mean, as long as you like." His smile was big and he seemed genuinely happy that she would be coming over. She smiled back, happy to see him happy. Then he winked. He actually closed one eye and not the other. He winked. At her. She nervously giggled. Then she looked down demurely and came back to planet earth. Seeing the large body on which her head sat reminded her that he was being a good neighbor and nothing more. She quickly looked back up and lost the smile somewhere along the way. "I'm looking forward to meeting your wife." Bobby looked quizzically at her and scratched his beard. "Me too." He smiled again and told her "I'm not married. Not yet, anyway." Aha, gay. Just like she thought. But some of her best male friends were gay. She actually enjoyed their company and sometimes preferred it. No questions of where the relationship would lead. No silly notions that, if he got to know her true inner self, he would fall head over heels for her, despite her shortcomings. Good. A friend. One could never have too many friends.
Saturday arrived and she stood before the mirror again. What to wear, what to wear. Everything made her look so fat. But then it dawned on her. She was. "Just get dressed, Deb." She showed up at Bobby's door around 2:30, in a sweater and skirt outfit, looking lovely to anyone except herself. A man answered the door, a drink in one hand and the other outstretched. "Come in, come in. You must be the neighbor next door. Bobby said he had invited you. Make your self comfortable. What do you want to drink?" How did he know who she was? Bobby must have described her. "I'm expecting a neighbor. She is rotund and mountainous, but she has a heart of gold. Be nice to her. She doesn't get out much." She drew in a deep breath and asked for just a club soda on ice. The happy doorman ran off and returned in a flash with a glass in one hand and a tray in the other. "And what can I entice you with, my dear?" She thought of several things all at once, but decided to keep it clean. She took a canapé off the tray and took the drink he offered. He smiled and then moved away at the sound of the doorbell.
Deborah looked around the room, not recognizing anyone else from the neighborhood. She looked for a corner to blend into. But suddenly Bobby swooped into the room and hugged her. "Hello, Deborah! So glad you could make it. Let me introduce you to everyone." He waltzed her through a group of people, and over to the kitchen. "Anna, this is Deborah. Anna is my dear, precious, lovely sister." Deb looked across the island at a near reflection of herself. Anna was a large woman. But she was beautiful. She was dressed impeccably, her hair cut in a neat bob that framed a lovely face. Deb smiled and put out her hand. "Nice to meet you." And she meant it. Anna smiled and took Deb's hand. "Thank you for coming. Bobby was afraid you had decided not to come. He kept looking out the backdoor to your place. I told him he was going to get a reputation as a Peeping Tom." Deb felt more at ease now. She wasn't the lone ranger. She had met a Tonto.
Bobby smiled at her and told her he wanted to introduce her to the rest of the group. He took her by the hand, clinging tightly but gently. He smiled at her and winked again. She felt a rush of emotions. His warm hand seemed charged with electricity and his smile flashed energy. He leaned close to her and whispered a thank you, soft and close to her ear. She could only smile. Bobby's looked turned serious and he lightly pressed his lips to hers. She felt her body tingle as he kissed her tenderly. He pulled back and asked forgiveness for being so rash. "I normally don't maul my guests. I am simply taken by how lovely you are. Please don't think me a Romeo. I assure you my intentions are honorable. At least, for now." Again he winked. This time, Deb winked back. She squeezed his hand and returned his smile. He was genuinely happy to be her side. He was sincere in his feelings and she was thrilled. At last, someone looked at her without loathing, without pity. He looked at her like a man should. He saw the entire package and he liked what he saw.
