(authors note: I was toying with using this as a mini anecdote in either Magnificent Bastard or as a sequel story to the Mix & Match crew. I had different ideas of bedtime stories being told by Jess or Olivia or Rachel while they cuddled with their lover, but in the end I thought it would be a fun exercise to make this anonymous and just a snippet in its own right. Feel free to imagine any of them in this role, or your own favorite slut)
*****
This was a few years ago, when I was living in a small two bedroom apartment that I was splitting with my friend, Alison. It was so dumb. But also ... kind of fun.
It was a weekday in a summer. I was home. I had just taken a couple of days off because I needed it, but I was too broke to go anywhere. It's super hot, and humid, and Alison had gone to work. So I was kind of just hanging out in the kitchen in this really light robe and nothing else on, eating a banana for breakfast. Feeling bored and frustrated, like I'd want to go to the beach, but my car's been acting up and I didn't trust it to make it all the way there. Alison went on this cruise with her parents last winter, so she gets all of these catalogs for trips that neither of us can afford. So, instead of going to the beach, I was just sitting in the dumbass kitchen of my dumbass apartment, paging through cruise pictures and consoling myself with fantasies of the beach. Lame, I know.
I remember that the garbage was super stinky. Like, I think I had just finished my banana and dumped it in there and was all, whoa, hot day and week old garbage do not mix. So as I was taking the garbage out, I was still dreaming of beaches in Indonesia, which is why I got to the dumpsters out behind the apartment building and only then realized that I'm still wearing a robe with no pockets. I don't have my keys and, yup, I just locked myself out of the building.
So fucking dumb, right? In fairness, Alison and I would walk out without our keys all of the time, but there's usually enough people coming and going from this apartment building that it's not a big deal and someone's always going to let you come back in.
Anyway, I spent the next 30 minutes walking around the apartment, looking for a way in. The lobby with the mailboxes was open, but you need a key to go from the lobby to the rest of the building, and another key to get into our apartment. Our apartment's on the second floor and there's a little fire escape that we use as a smoking porch, but the ladder for the fire escape was raised up so that I have to jump to grab it and I'm just not tall enough. I walked around for a bit, trying to see if any of my neighbors were in, but it looked like everyone else was out at work too.
So, I was back to sitting on the front stoop of the apartment, thinking like this is the shittiest way to spend a staycation, and I'm probably going to have to wait until Alison comes back from work. Then I heard this rumble coming down the street, and I saw a fire truck roll by. Siren's off. I remembered that there's a fire station a block away. The truck's got a bunch of guys in it, and there's this one dude sitting in the back passenger area who just lazily looked over then fixed me with this super intense stare.
Then I remembered what I was almost naked and probably flashing myself at him. So I blush and got up and went into the entraceway and off the street.
A few minutes go by, and I was still pretty angry at myself and thinking of myself as this colossal fuckup when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and I saw that firefighter guy sauntering by, wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Backpack slung over his shoulder. He's got suspenders on like it's some kind of firefighter uniform. I saw him looking over at the apartment building, and I don't know if he can see me through the glass, but I decided to go outside anyway.
His walk slowed down and he just looked at me and asked, "you need some help?"
I walked up to him, arms crossed in front of me, taking small steps. Suddenly feeling really vulnerable and exposed, but he's my only choice right now. "Yeah, umm, I feel really dumb in saying this, but I locked myself out. I don't suppose you could, umm ..."
He just shrugged and said, "show me." I can still remember how his dark eyes fixed on mine. So intense. But also caring. Like he genuinely wanted to help. I walked him around, pointing out where my apartment was and then the open kitchen window, and the fire-escape, and its raised ladder. He set his backpack down and placed his hands on his hips and just said, "yeah, that's interesting, but I think we can do this."
He took a few steps back and then ran, jumped, and missed the ladder. He tried again. It took a couple tries, but finally he managed to grab the bottom rung, and at first I'm excited something happen, but ... now what? Then this dude just does, like, a pull up and then reaches up and climbs up the ladder basically doing the equivalent of one arm pull ups all the way to my fire escape. Motherfucker was jacked.
Anyway he got to the top and looked down at me with this big sweaty smile like he can't believe he just did that, but I still point at the raised ladder and he nodded, pushed the sweaty hair back from his eyes and then just lifted the catch on the ladder and lowered it down to me.
I remember feeling giddy as I climbed up and then happy and relieved when I finally got back into my apartment. I heard the ladder slide back up as the firefighter brought it back off the street, and then he climbed from the fire escape into the kitchen and said, "hope you don't mind if I just head out through your front door."
"oh, no, not at all. Here have a drink. You look like you worked up a sweat. Water, soda, juice?"
"Soda's fine."
