Local Election Season 01
Hey there people, I'm Carson and right from the get go of my story, I'm clearly stating that I have never ever ruined anyone's life. I enrich, I embrace and I enhance the lives of others whenever I can and I give and give and give and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
And thanks to two summer intern jobs with the city's Parks & Rec department, I stuck with that too and now, a couple of years after graduation, ta da, I drive a white city truck, wear a neon vest and make my rounds to the multiple parks within the city of Middleton to make sure everything is on the up and up. And that's right, I'm still just a couple of steps up the flunky city worker status ladder, but I am high enough up the ladder to be that city worker guy where a 'to go' coffee cup from the Lava Java Coffee Shop is in my hand or in the front cup holder of my city truck and it's a part of my uniform. I mean, someone has to stand there with a coffee cup in their hand while making sure that the two newbie flunky worker bees are properly cleaning up, setting up or shifting the picnic tables around correctly, right?
I'm also stating right up front before any of you go sounding off about how some of my efforts, that might seemingly look like a city employee is supporting a political candidate while on the job, mm-hmm, but I just perform the work order assignments that appear on my work computer because that's what I do, you know, with a cup of coffee in my hand. You can talk to Mr. Motz about a couple of things that might seem unethical, but leave his lovely wife, Mrs. Molly Motz out of it since, you know, she's my manager for my job at the Civic Rec Center.
Anyways, my story basically starts early on a Friday afternoon, which was the big campaign kickoff weekend for the first term incumbent Mayor, Mayor Mookie Mootz, to start her bid for re-election. Now, I'm not much of a fan of politics, but I understand the need for government at all levels and since Mayor Mootz seemed to be beloved already by most citizens of Middleton, I mean, when it's on lock, it's on lock, right? Also, I didn't mind Mayor Mootz launching her campaign kickoff pep rally in the pool area of the Rec Center because for some reason, I very much enjoy the chlorine scented smell in the air around the swimming pool.
Well, Mayor Mookie Mootz might have been a tad less loved that afternoon by my two flunky newbie worker bees because Mayor Mootz insisted that her pep speech rally's have a wide "V" of four wooden folding chairs across as the boarders to keep her supporters, constituents and friend's cattle herded directly in front her as the wide "V" stretched outwards. The rumor around our city hall has it that is because Mayor Mootz crosses her fingers behind her back as she speaks and makes promises, but I think she's a little subconscious about people standing behind her and staring at her butt, which is actually worth a glance, especially since Mayor Mootz is known for her loyalty to the local gym and her upper thirty something body is proof positive of that.
Oh, and that's right, the wide "V" boarders of folding chairs were perfectly inline, you know, thanks to my supervisor skills while pointing and aligning with my cup of coffee and pointing finger because...
"Constituents, supporters, voters, family and friends, welcome to my kickoff speech where I'm here to promise you all that my campaign slogan of 'Build Back Bigger' is more than just a catchy slogan phrase. [Crosses fingers behind her back] as the incumbent Mayor running for a second term in office, I promise bigger cuts in wasteful local government spending [pause for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, you go girl, applause, yay, you got my vote Mayor, applause, clap, clap]
"I promise to support bigger hair, bigger slices of pizza from the Pizza Shop, bigger parking spots at the grocery store and, wait for it, bigger hush money payouts (cough, ahem), I mean bigger hush puppies orders at the red seafood restaurant [pause for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, we're with you, Mayor, applause, yay, you got my vote this November, clap, clap, (grump) that woman and her noontime red dresses!]
"And since I'm a modern upper thirty something woman, I promise bigger beautification property tax cuts for our local nightclubs because our youthful couples and singles need their club night life and that's right voters, that even includes Hilda's Hideaway strip club because bigger bouncing boobs and bigger big ole booties swinging around a pole never hurt anyone [pause for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, bring the tax cuts, Mayor, applause, yay, can I vote today, applause, clap, clap, (grump) I bet that red dress has a slit in the rear and a bowtie, yay, clap]
"And ladies, since our fine city of Middleton has become known coast to coast for our infamous and very revealing Mrs. Bentley's 'sea of cleavage' fund raiser events, mm-hmm, I promise to bring bigger pieces of Hollywood wardrobe special effects tape into the mix to allow bigger and deeper cut evening gowns, which studies have shown, has a direct relationship to bigger donations [pause for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, show the girls, applause, yay, let the Krakens breathe, applause, clap, clap (grump), says the woman of 39 who has boobs that still stand up straight, yay, clap]
"And as for you men, who seem to have found a comfort zone hanging out at the Transmission Shop down the Strip, while sipping on long neck sodas, I promise to find some grant money to expand the waiting lobby and the Men's room, mm-hmm [pause for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, expand the, um, wait, applause, yay, long neck bottles are the, wait, clap (grump) mm-hmm, I always knew it and her hubby is included, clap, applause]
"And before I wrap it up for today, let me remind all of you that tomorrow morning, Saturday, between 7am and 9am, I will be hosting a meet and greet 'Coffee in PJs with the Mayor' round table discussion down at the Lava Java Coffee Shop on the Strip to obtain your thoughts on my proposal to raise the status of the Greasy Spoon Hamburger Dive bar from the seedy and shady status it currently carries to something less thug like [hold for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, keep the goth servers, clap, clap, yay, lose the thugs, applause, yay, clap, (grump) those younger angels of the night servers in their skimpy uniforms, clap, applause]
"So, ladies, come join me in the morning for a coffee in your fancy PJs and your fluffy slippers and your bedhead hair and meet the blue-collar biker dudes that keep the 'over the counter' belly ache medicine pills in business thanks to the Greasy Spoon Hamburger Dive Bar food service and I promise a blind eye and [recrosses fingers behind her back] a camera free environment if you wear what you wear under your jammies at home [hold for applause]."
[Applause, clap, clap, yay, it's a nipples battle, clap, clap, yay, bring on the biker dudes with their big kick stands, yay, (grump) finally an excuse to relive my braless slut days, yay, clap, applause]
"Thank you all very much for your support, Mayor Mookie Mootz mic drop out!"
[Assumes a pretty decent 'X body' pose with both legs spread wide and with both arms extended up and outward, but the extended index finger and pinky finger looked like it belonged more towards the Texas Longhorns more than like a Middleton rock star, but whatever].
You know, Mayor Mootz does capture her audience and I think that's a sign of what a good political candidate does, right? Anyways, it was not lost on me how newbie flunky Jim and newbie flunky Tim had to break down the speech area of chairs and the podium so soon after just setting it up, but I used my supervisor experience to my advantage by reminding them that it was good practice for what the set up and break down was going to be like the next day, Saturday 3pm afternoon, when Mayor Mootz held a pep rally speech under the pavilion down in Falcon Park because that was going to be so much bigger, LOL, just like her campaign slogan says because...
"Ahem, um [taps shoulder] can we chat for a quick minute, Carson? And I mean, in the back and around the corner of the Rec Center pool area because since you gave me that wonderful and amazing half of a quickie a couple of weeks ago while the City Council was waiting for me to make an appearance at their meeting, I mean, you woke up my sex after a 10 years dead period, so, can we chit chat in private before I have to meet with my campaign's 'Fact Checking/Counter Attack' team, hmm?"
Um, excuse me! That was a solid three-quarters of a quickie that I gave to Mayor Mookie! A very solid three-quarters, I say! But I liked how she added the 'wonderful and amazing' part, so.
[LOL, and they thought that their sneaky little walk around the back wall would go un-noticed. (Grump) mm-hmm, there it is, her red dress does have a slit in the rear and mm-hmm, a fancy little red bowtie acting like the gate to the promise land for her flunky stud city worker, mm-hmm, lucky bitch]
"OMG, Mayor Mootz, that was a solid half of a quickie plus, plus and it would have been a full quickie if you weren't so shy about letting your boobs out, so, some of this is on you. Well, some it is was on your nosey assistant, Admin Annie, but I'll take how wonderfully and amazingly that I woke up your sex, so?"
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm [quick lip smack], you woke up my sex alright, Carson, which is a shameful thing for me to have to say as a woman of only 39 and I apologize about being too caught up in the moment to have let my boobs out for you, but I'm awake now and I promise to put my Mayor Mookie Mootz mouth on it, um, on your fabulous hard and throbbing cock, for our next half quickie plus and that's a campaign promise that I promise to keep, mm-hmm, to make it a full quickie, mm-hmm!"
"Well then, Mayor Mookie, I do ultimately work for you and I've always believed that you make every attempt to keep your campaign promises [she directs his hand down to her awoken sex spot], even if you (chuckles) have a 'Fact Checking/Counter Attack' team that is larger than your normal campaign team, but I'm still worried about your nosey busy body assistant, Admin Annie because..."
"[Makes certain that his hand is a busy body over her sex spot] mm-hmm and my assistant, Admin Annie will be leaving work early today to purchase totally inappropriate jammies for the meet and greet coffee event in the morning, mm-hmm! I mean, it is the first Friday of the month and all, so, you'll be stopping by my office anyways to pick up the stuffed hush money envelope for drop off in Falcon Park for the seedy and shady bosses of the underbelly of Middleton, so?"
Oh, I mean, maybe I perform a few side services for the city, so what? It's easy. Two vehicles flash their headlights at each other, swipe their fingers down their noses and slowly drive past each other with the windows down, make a quick toss and caught and ta da, the city's underbelly bosses are happy.
