Line Dance Club Finals Revisited 01

Line Dance Club Finals Revisted 01

Early the next day, a quiet Saturday morning, at the Split Tree Resort and the day of the Line Dance Club Finals after an eventful Friday evening.

[Whirl, weep, whirl, weep, blurb, blurb, the EMS Van slams it sideways in the driveway]

"[Boom, the Split Tree Resort lobby doors fling open] I'm here, I'm here, I'm Head Nurse Swallows, the Intravenous IV Specialist and I'm only late because of the huge traffic jam on Highway 31. Where is the patient who can't keep up with the hot, hot, hot trending resort step sister that must have been sent down from the heavens because you're every young man's sex life dream, hmm?"

"OMG, here, Head Nurse Swallows, I'm here, I'm Twiddle Dee and the patient who brought me the boyfriend of my dreams is withering away in cabin 14 and he needs his IV fluids now because I didn't quite understand the power of horny big city women with their big city, big boobs, so, my resort step brother needs his IV fluids administered STAT! And since I'm on the best resort step sister ever bandwagon because I have a boyfriend now, I'll turn a blind eye if you administer the IV fluids in just your forest green undies, so?"

"Well, I never! Tee he, I never thought this morning when I slipped on my satin silk forest green undies that they would become a part of the medical procedure!"

"Hurry, Head Nurse Swallows because Owen Owens' is shooting steam and my caring resort step sister rep is on the line and I like trending as the steamy step sister supreme!"

"Damn, it's no wonder #SteamyStepSister is trending so hard on Chang! Also, as a Head Nurse, I have the legal power to check your boyfriend's health status too, you know, since you've been the exhausting and steamy girlfriend and all, according to the other hot trending topic on Chang, so?"

[Ping, fire trending! Ping, #StepSisterSupreme! Ping, #TrafficJamStepSister! Ping, #SteamyStepSister!]

"(Drats!) Well, there must be a resort law that says all body fluid health exams must have an attending assistant because..."

[Even in heels, Housekeeper Maria, slides it into the front desk area, but in a new skirt]

"Body fluid exam attendant/housekeeping mistress, Maria, reporting for early duty, Twiddle Dee! And ready to report back on your boyfriend's specimen cup measurement of body fluid ejection and I promise to keep it all mostly legit!"

[Peers over the counter and spies a hiked-up skirt and an unattached and swinging garter belt]

"And no matter how much good girlfriend sex a girlfriend gives her boyfriend, Twiddle Dee, they all still jack off from time to time anyways, so?"

"(Drats!) Dang it, Housekeeper Maria, you already polished both candlesticks in my boyfriend's cabin last night! But apparently, my boyfriend has a thing for dangling garter belt straps that aren't attached to stockings, so, this time only, one right eye turned blind and one left eye turned blind, but do not steal my boyfriend, Maria because it took me my whole life to find the very best boyfriend in the whole wide world."

[Maria freshens up her evening passion red lipstick, even though it was only 9am]

"Next!"

"Whaa! Whaa! Whaa! That's what I want, dad, remarry her mom! Whaa! Whaa! Whaa!"

"[Ring, ring, ring, ring]"

"Hello, it's 9am local time here at the Split Tree Resort, this is Twiddle Dee and I'm exhausted, my boyfriend is exhausted, my resort step brother is exhausted and needs IV injections, six or seven of the lady line dancers are exhausted and I'm exhausted because I'm finally the cute girlfriend of a big city boyfriend and I have a new viewpoint on what "being naughty" means, so, how may I help you, hmm?"

"Oh, um, wow, I really don't know what to say back to that, but um, my name is Tina and I'm having a hard time getting in touch with my Auntie, Mrs. Trisha Tellman because she's not answering her cell phone and I was wondering if the resort offered a welfare check service because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] mm-hmm, your Auntie Trisha is exhausted, but she's okay, Tina. I mean, she's tricky Trisha because she took cuts in line for Owen Owen's morning wood, um, oops, your Auntie took cuts in line this morning and Owen Owens went for a walk in the woods while I scrubbed down my boyfriend in the shower earlier this morning, the end, so?"

"(Giggles) well, I shouldn't say anything back to that, but (giggles) that sounds like my deprived Auntie Trisha then. And I remember Owen Owens from school, so, whatever. Anyways, Twiddle Dee, I suppose there is no need for me to continue driving down Highway 31 to, um, check up on her then because I don't want to be that kind of niece because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] are you almost here, Tina? And is your boyfriend with you, hmm? And all of us girlfriend's always say that our boyfriends are the best, so, you can say that back to me because I'm a girlfriend now, so?"

"(Giggles) well, my boyfriend is with me and he's driving us and Bruce is a wonderful boyfriend, I mean (giggles), second behind your boyfriend and all because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] thank you, Tina, I'll put you in the Honeymoon cabin where you don't need to wear your undies under your complimentary cotton robe and where your boyfriend can have his beer and sports, so, go on."

[Vroom, roar, vroom the gas pedal]

"(Giggles) well then, I mean (giggles), if I don't wear any undies around the Honeymoon cabin, just who will plug in the anime for the boyfriend because there are big city boyfriend rules about that because..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] duh, Maria from Housekeeping!"

[Roar, vroom, roar, roar that engine, vroom around the traffic jam!]

"[Tap, tap, tap] anyways, Tina, what are the odds that you brought an extra big city boyfriend named Davie Davison with you guys because one of the resorts staffers (giggles), Bar Bunny, Bunnie (giggles), spent way too much time last night delivering takeout cocktails to my boyfriends and Owen Owens' cabin 14 and we don't even have cocktail takeout service here at the resort and Bar Bunny, Bunnie has like five different fuzzy bunny tails, that accent her bunny booty and I need to hook her up! STAT like Head Nurse Swallows says!"

"Oh (giggles), I'm almost afraid to say something back to all that, but (giggles) I will anyways. We have a David Davidson with us in the back seat, but (giggles), he just passed out in the rear seat because I have us on cell phone speaker (giggles), and hearing you talk about Bar Bunny, Bunnie and her fuzzy bunny booty tails was too much for him!"

"[Tap, tap, tap] please have your 2nd in the world wonderful big city boyfriend, Bruce, drive his car like he owns it to get here (giggles), which he probably does and report to directly to cabin 14 upon your arrival while we have your Honeymoon cabin readied and I'll have Bar Bunny, Bunnie, deliver a tray of mimosas to the boyfriend's cabin 14 while you wait and change into your hot big city babe bikini. Also, if you have two more suitable big city goth boyfriend types that you can quick text and who might own motorcycles that run on nitroglycerin fuel to get here quick, resort staffers Salad Bar Susan and Casher Cassie have been crying for the past 16 hours over not having big city goth boyfriends for the weekend, goodbye. Next!"

"[Ding, ding, ding] hello, tee he, I'm Pete Peterson and all my step sister ever attempted was to stab me in the middle of night for an increased share of the inheritance, tee he. Anyways, our mutual friend, Lilly, sent me down here to the resort with these packages of big city lingerie and tee he, I promise you that the packages were, tee he, open when Lilly gave them to me, tee he. And I'm here to meet my new girlfriend, Shelia..."

[Squeaks into the front desk area because athletic server shoes don't slide]

"Hi, I'm Shelia the Server and I meant to say the big city, hey there, hey and my dinner service shift at the Community Hut doesn't start for about five hours, Pete Peterson, so, do you have a problem with us getting to know each other a little bit in the female staffers cabin for a few hours, hmm [snatches her opened package of big city lingerie], Pete Peterson?"

[Pete Peterson had no problem with that]

"Next! And just leave those other two opened packages of sexy big city lingerie with me, ahem, sexpot big city, Pete Peterson! Next! Oh, and by next, grr, I mean, OMG people, we are out of cabins! And where did all you single dads with kids come from anyways? The Father & Son Fishing resort is down the road, guys!"

"Whaa! Whaa! Whaa! Dad, I need this kind of step sister! At least ask for her mom's phone number! Whaa! Whaa! Whaa!"

Well, tee he, it's me again, Owen and I'm really starting to love resort life, especially when one's honorary resort step sister makes it where I don't have to leave the cabin because...

"[Knock, knock] Head Nurse Swallows, IV Specialist, coming in, Owen Owens and so are you!"

"Oh, well then, come on inside, Head Nurse Swallows because I'm feeling a little ex..."

"[Knock, knock] body fluid exam attendant/housekeeping mistress, Maria, coming in and I have full approval from Twiddle Dee, to measure her boyfriend's, Drew, sample size after being exhausted and Twiddle Dee never said that I needed to use a specimen measuring cup, so?"

"Well, body fluid exam attendant/housekeeping mistress, Maria, it's no wonder that Twiddle Dee is the best girlfriend [fap, fap, fap] in the whole wide world [fap, fap, fap] and I'm all about maintaining my health [fap, fap, fap] for my girlfriend, so, should I turn my head and cough because..."

"[Knock, knock] Shelia the Server, coming in with her boyfriend, Pete Peterson because I totally want to show him off because Pete Peterson is my big city boyfriend now and I'm his teeny tiny resort town girlfriend and we're..."

"Pete! Dude! Come on inside of my cabin because the resort life is all that and a bag of..."

"[Knock, knock] tee he, it's me, Gift Shop Glenda, Twiddle Dee's mom and this might be my last chance because I have about a bazillion marriage proposals from the male offspring of single dad's and hey, um, wait a minute, because isn't an IV application supposed to push the IV fluids inside of the body instead of sucking the fluids out of Owen Owens body, Head Nurse Swallows, hmm?"

"[Slurp, oomph, suck, slurp, suck, gulp, release] what?"

"[Knock, knock] it's us, Tina, Bruce and David, coming inside because quite frankly, I had to see all of this for myself because the way the trending resort step sister explains it, it can't be true because..."

"[Knock, knock] it's me, Bar Bunny, Bunnie, coming inside with a tray of 10am Mimosas and if I had known that David Davidson was this handsome, I would have worn my satin white wedding bunny leotard with a red fuzzy bunny tail! Hi, um, hey there, hey, um, I drove past the big city once before in my life and I have to work the Line Dance Club Finals tonight, but you're not going anywhere, right [shakes white fuzzy bunny tail], Davie Davison?"

"Bah, bah, bah, I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted too because you're hot, Bar Bunny, Bunnie and..."

"[Knock, knock, LOL, in reverse] um, well, so what if I'm the Pastor's wife and I'm sneaking out of Owen Owens cabin at 10am, hmm? It's only Saturday, so, everyone just shut it! And give me hit from that IV Bong tube because the Pastor is starting to get suspicious!"

Well, there's nothing wrong with a Saturday morning servicing, I mean, service, folks because that's what resort life is supposed to be like during the weekend of the Line Dance Club Finals because..."

"[Knock, knock] it's us, Salad Bar Susan and Cashier Cassie, coming in because #SteamySassyStepSister, we mean, Twiddle Dee sent us in with two extra IV bags for Owen Owens' weekend strength! And to check that Housekeeper Maria isn't using the bunk bed poles of her boyfriend's bunk bed corner poles as dancing poles!"

"[Twirl, dip, swirl, dip, spin, dip, dangling garter belt straps, spin, dip, twirl, hold] what?"

Oh, how Housekeeper Maria managed that was beyond me, folks, but I guess with practice..."

"[Knock, knock] it's us, Hamburger Hilda and her new big city, ahem, slept overnight boyfriend, Hank Hawkins, who has the best facial scrub, just popping in for a glow up! And to drop off this hot bikini from the gift shop for Tina, because lately, Twiddle Dee is more like a phone sex telephone operator now and to ask why, ahem, a certain Tina didn't bring extra big city boyfriends for our own Salad Bar Susan or Casher Cassie, so? We're a team down here in this teeny tiny resort town! And even more especially using the hashtag #SteamySassyDanceFinalsSupreme has been trending so hard on..."

"[Erk, squeak, squawk] we apologize for interrupting your normal viewing and listening programming, but we have breaking news just coming into TV3 News. The authorities tried to apprehend two young men from the big city of Middleton in a string operation while the two goth dudes bought nitroglycerin fuel for their big city motorcycles, but they got away down Highway 31 because you know, they had nitroglycerin fuel in their motorcycles. We now return you to your normal programming. [Erk, squeak]"

"[Knock, knock] it's me, Rec Equipment Rita, coming inside, armed with a canoe paddle and not just because I'm feeling left out from having a big city weekend boyfriend, but because it's time for Owen Owen's mouth to mouth training, which, OMFG, I see that Gift Shop Glenda has already started that!"

"[Mwah, smooch, mwah, smooch smack, peck, release] what?"

"[Knock, knock, beep, beep] um, well, I'm Jack and I received an emergency text from Owen late last night that he left his pond snorkeling equipment at home, so, um, I fought through the traffic jam on Highway 31 and the phone sex operator said I would find Owen in here. And by the way, how does one even breath through this thing anyways, huh? Is there training or something because..."

"Oh [snatches that snorkeling equipment], I'm Rec Equipment Rita and if you're sticking around this weekend and if you can be a forgiving big city boyfriend because my teeny tiny backwoods town self doesn't have a lot of experience, I mean, I might be willing to show you exactly how one breathes with a tube stuck in their mouth, big city Jack! After the pond beach closes, so."

[Zoom, zing, zoom, zing, nitroglycerin fuel induced wheelies, zoom, zing and park them]

"[Knock, knock] um, it's us, Todd and Rodger, coming inside because Tina said I needed to eat more greens from the salad bar and that Rodger would pay for it with his credit card! Also, we need a place to hide out because of some reasons and OMG, Owen! Drew! Pete! Hank! Dave! Jack! What the hell is happening guys? And who are you two lovely ladies, huh?"

"Oh, I'm "girl" and this is "friend" or you can call us Salad Bar Susan and Cashier Cassie, so, you two are staying tonight, right? Um, we have like four hours to get to know each other before our shifts start and we have access to the pontoon boat for a quick fishing trip and the pond has a private cove for you to hide out in and the pontoon boat has air mattress floaties, so?"

"And we're in!"

And tee he, it wasn't barely noon.

"Next!

End Line Dance Club Finals Revisited 01