Letting Him Let Go

"Come baby, I think we've both had enough tonight."

--

She could tell it had been a hard day for him. His new position at the engineering firm had been kicking his ass. Having recently graduated, it was taking longer than he anticipated to show his chops. Still, he had been pushing himself all month to deliver on the quarterly schedule.

She, on the other hand, had had a relaxed week with her design work. It had taken all her courage to start her own company after graduating, but days like this made her thankful for her decision. It was hard work being solely responsible for the success of her own vision; earlier this month she barely even noticed the long days they had been spending apart. This past week, as her schedule relaxed, she saw how their time apart had worn them both down.

Usually, he pampered her. Sweet kisses every time he walked by her home office, hot tea when he saw her mug was empty, warm embraces while they cooked food together, cute little butt grabs whenever she was in reach. He never quite tired of showing her that she was always on his mind. The past few weeks, it donned on her, had been quite different. He tossed and turned all night, his hugs felt weary and his naturally intimate and passion-igniting kisses had grown weak and tired. She knew he loved her, and she missed the closeness and warmth between them.

Some time ago, he'd shared a side of him that had surprised her greatly. She still remembered the day he'd stuttered through his confession, bearing his conflicted thoughts and feelings to her. His face had looked so worried, as if anything he could have said would stop her loving him. He couldn't look her in the eyes while he told her about his sense of comfort with his feminine side. He'd shown her the things he sometimes wore; the soft, cute, comfortable clothes he hid away in a corner of his project room. She'd held them daintily in her hand, unable to wrap her head so quickly around something so new to her coming from the man she thought she knew inside out.

It took weeks of consoling and reassuring after that day to convince him she still saw him the same way; as her loving, caring, competent man. It took much longer to come to terms with this new (to her) side of him. She had spent many nights asking herself questions of his sexuality, her incompetency, their fit for each other, and countless other things she had never considered. But as the tension of their temporary discomfort wore off, she saw him return to the same man who wanted nothing else but to be happy with her.

With slow gentle probing on both of their parts, they explored this side of his personality. He was still her man, and still loved and wanted only her; he just liked to feel feminine in his cute things sometimes. The more they both them cautiously exposed this side of him in the comfort of their own home, the more she realized this. It took patience, time, hours of talking and not just doing. More than a year later, they both felt a little more at home with this side of him, and she sometimes found him wearing short shorts, comfy crop tops, or a cute bralette in the evening when they settled onto the couch or into bed. It flattered her a little bit to see the things he liked to wear were the things she liked to wear as well. Though they didn't share any clothes per se, it made her smile to think he wanted to feel as good as he thought she looked.

That night, she realized he also hadn't dressed cute in around a month; hindsight making it clear that his work stress and her own had kept them from sharing carnal nights together as well. His libido usually probed her for mutual satisfaction and pleasure a few times a week, often more. When she'd seen him close his laptop and put his head down on his laptop, defeated for the day, her girlfriend instincts kicked in. She had an idea of what he needed, and perhaps what she needed too.

--

Stroking his back, she felt him inhale deeply. Time stood still for what felt like eternity, her hand running softly through his hair, trying to coax him from his ball of tension. He looked as if he had nothing left to give.

"Hun, please, come upstairs. Your eyes are probably burning, and your back must be so sore."

He slowly shook his head no, his hand reaching over his head to rest on hers, still in his hair. The usual, confident hold he took of her, even when just holding hands, was nowhere to be felt. She could barely sense his touch as his held breath slowly left his lungs.

She remembered all those days she'd felt like this and how he'd taken care of her. He'd fed her when she wouldn't eat, carried her to bed when she couldn't move, and brought her out of her misery and emptiness. If she liked being taken care of, she could imagine he would as well. His powerful, constantly working mind would step in as soon as he relaxed, she knew, but perhaps she could coax out his other, hidden sweetness to be cared for and pampered.

Slowly she slid her arms around him, bending over the back of the chair so that her chest laid against his back and her hands cupped his chest. She pulled upwards, trying to get him to even sit up for her. Ever so slowly, she felt his resistance recede, his back cracking loudly as he sat up.

"No talking. Just come with me hun. Work had you all day, you're mine tonight."

She pulled him up to his feet, kissing his forehead and taking his hand to guide him up the stairs into their bathroom. No longer resisting, he followed her quietly, still lost in his thoughts, but not willing to turn down his lover's affection.

She closed the door behind them, dimming the lights, setting the temperature of the water, and turning back to him. He looked so sad like this, leaning back against the counter with his serious, distracted face staring absently at the floor. Gently she held his cheek, turning his head up towards her, and seeing him close his eyes. Even now, he didn't want to burden her with the things he was feeling; how she loved this man.

"Your hair is an oily mess hun, come shower with me."

Reaching for the hem of his shirt, she lifted it up and over his head with his silent compliance. After repeating this with his sweats and trunks, she guided him into the shower, knowing the warm spray awaited him behind the curtain. Once inside, she quickly took off her own working-from-home lounge clothes, quietly noticing how they at least made her feel cute looking in the mirror as she eyed his somewhat plain t shirt and baggy, worn out sweats on the floor. Her ideas for tonight continued to evolve; she just needed to make sure he was up for it, or at least could be relaxed enough to let her guide him.

Stepping into the shower herself, she found him standing with his back to the showerhead with its spray falling squarely on his shoulders and neck. He always stood like this when he was sore; the hot water relaxed his muscles far better than active manipulation. Seeing him standing there alone, she pulled herself between his arms and stroked his back once again, pressing her body to his under the water and feeling him sink down onto her shoulder. Their similar height sometimes made it difficult for her to wear heels when they dressed up to go out on the town, but in moments like these, it let her hold him perfectly comfortably. Quickly, as if realizing he'd left her in the cold, he stood up straight and turned around so her back was now under the warm spray.

"Baby let it go, it's okay. Just let me hold you."

With another deep sigh, he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck and just standing there under the water with her. In the silence of the shower, masked only by the falling of water droplets from their bodies, she felt him start to sob. Her heart fractured just a little bit when he broke down like this. She was the only one he could cry in front of, ever since they first started dating. Now, just as she had done back then, she rubbed his back lovingly and stroked his wet hair. She was there for him, and that's all he needed.

--

Long minutes later, he raised his head from her neck and let the water rinse the tears from his face. Still holding each other, he reached forward to kiss her forehead, parting his lips to say the only thing he knew how in that moment. She held her finger gently to his lips, seeing him finally open his eyes to look at her in quiet confusion.

"I know. I love you too. Always."

Moving her hand to his cheek, she pulled him in to kiss him chastely on the lips.

"Just let me love your worries away tonight."

His breath caught in his chest, his hands slipping down her back as if he'd used all his energy to hold them up while he could. Turning them both around once again, she let his head soak in the shower as she looked for his shampoo. His hair really did need a cleaning, and she remembered the first shower they shared together when he'd washed hers, a ritual she had enjoyed countless times since. Filing through their bottles of shower gels, she found herself reaching for her own shampoo instead. It surprised her as well, never having crossed such a seemingly arbitrary line with his femininity in the past. But now, squeezing it into the palm of her hand, the movement felt much less awkward and daunting compared to the initial shock of him occasionally wearing panties.

"I know how much you love the smell of my hair."

His eyes widened ever so slightly, meeting hers instantly when she said those words while turning back to him. He stepped forward almost timidly into the space between them, the water now falling onto the floor at his heels. Holding his gaze with a look of concerned care, she ran her fruit scented fingers through his hair. His eyes closed lazily, his breath left his lungs, and his head hung forward ever so slightly to let her fingers massage his scalp.

"Hun, I can't reach you... please?"

It was something they'd only done when they'd played together in the shower, but she knew he would understand what she was asking. Memories of the last time poked and prodded at the boundaries of her thoughts; he'd thrusted his tongue into her wet folds while she held him by his shoulders, pinned with her back against the cold shower wall. Even taking care of him like this, she felt her mind react to the thought. Naturally oblivious to her reminiscing, he carefully sunk to his knees. This time, completely opposite to the last, he simply rested his forehead against her abdomen, letting her shampoo his hair as his hands rested peacefully on the backs of her thighs, breathing in the soft scents surrounding his head.

Satisfied with the lather, she reached forward, having to get up on her tippy toes to reach the detachable showerhead. Holding onto his shoulder for support and feeling his hands tighten on her thighs to help her, she reached farther up and forward and took hold of the handle, pulling it out of its holder. Slowly coming back down, she suddenly felt his hands flinch, gripping her thighs just barely tighter. It was only then she realized her reaching efforts had placed his nose at the pinnacle of her thighs, slowly dragging her clit down his nose as she returned to stability on her heels. She slowed her movement further, not having meant to create such intimate contact so soon, but relaxing into it nonetheless. By the time she had returned to her comfortable standing position, his eyes were looking up at her, silently inquiring if she had meant for it to happen yet still holding onto their sad dejection. She tilted his head down again so his forehead was against her skin and proceeded to wash out the shampoo. Between her legs, her muscles clenched and moistened in reaction to the gentle stroke her sensitive bud had just received.

Realizing his hair was now clean, he looked up at her once again, still holding the backs of her thighs. Ever so slowly, he felt her hamstrings flex, as she stretched up and forward once again to replace the nozzle - deliberately this time. Looking up at her the entire time, he watched her place the nozzle in the holder and gaze down to meet his eyes. Feeling his chest freeze against her legs as he held his breath, she grasped both of his shoulders and once again returned to her comfortable standing position. With him looking up at her, she softly sighed as her lips dragged over the ridge of his nose, down over his lips and off his chin. When she guided him to his feet to kiss his lips for the first time today, she tasted herself there, where she knew her taste belonged. Tonight, was about him, she chastised herself, and quickly turned the shower off before she could get distracted any further. Tonight, she wanted to make him forget everything. It seemed the best way she could do that for him was to take gentle control of her sweet, submissive lover.

--

Quietly they dried one another, their earlier intimate encounter not having changed the pace of the evening. Looking at his face and body, she could already see a change. He stood just a little bit straighter, his hands dried her with a formerly missing sense of purpose, and his face didn't look as worn down and empty as before. Perhaps it was his clean hair, or perhaps she was now seeing him through rose colored glasses. Whatever the case, she dried him between his legs last, finding him nowhere close to fully hard, but flowing with blood as opposed to the cold, shrunken state he was in before their shower. Wrapping themselves in their towels, they made their way to the bedroom, this time side by side.

When they arrived, she led him first to sit on the bed taking off her towel and draping it over his uncovered shoulders and back to keep him warm. Now naked, she walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of dark blue, lace cheek panties. With her back to him, she bent forward and stepped into them, pulling them up her thighs and letting them settle perfectly onto her hips. They both knew how much she loved the comfort of this pair, and just how beautifully they framed her cheeks. Feeling his gentle eyes on her, she already felt a small drop of wetness leave her lips and begin to soak them. She was in no hurry, but she had to stay focused. Bending forward again, she reached to find her cute white bralette, clasping it in front and spinning it around to pull it up her shoulders.

On most intimate nights, this is all she wore. They would spend time kissing and touching each other through their underwear until he slid down her body to make love to her with his wet, never-tiring tongue and his long, powerful fingers. Tonight, she needed as many layers as she could get away with to ensure she could keep some self-control and guide him through the night she wanted for him. Opening her pajama drawer, she pulled out a pair of loose, flowy tie die shorts and a grey, lace-fringed camisole to mismatch. After putting both pieces on with the same deliberate effort to show him her body, she finally turned to him, fully dressed, with her hands on her hips.

"Hun, I'm going to dress you for bed tonight. You're my sweet boy, and I want to remind you."

He nodded tentatively, shifting just slightly in his seat. Watching her dress herself was such a simple pleasure, yet his downward pointed manhood was attempting to harden further in the confines of the towel around his waist. She was the most beautiful woman in his world, and his eyes had not left the back of her body the entire time. Turning his upper body, he followed her with his eyes to the side of the bed, where she kneeled to pull out a plastic roll-out container of his feminine things. Doing this, she realized how silly it felt to have to pull them out from under the bed, and she resolved to find a more natural place to keep them some time soon. They both had come a long way with this since his first days of feeling ashamed and hiding this side of himself away from her.

Knowing he couldn't see what she was picking out, she made a touch of a show of the process. It was something he had told her long ago; that he hoped one day it would feel normal for her to dress him from time to time. Looking through a few things, she gathered her choices and crawled awkwardly around the bed to the floor in front of him. He couldn't help but chuckle at the cuteness of her, even as she was coaxing him to relax and give in to her so sweetly.

"You tell me if there's anything else I should pick instead, okay baby? I want you to feel good."

She kept saying that; what she wanted. She wanted to do this for him; she wanted to lead him tonight. He twitched between his legs at the thought, and his whole body relaxed further. Taking the towel off his shoulders, she ran it over his hair one more time, making sure he wouldn't catch a cold in the night. Reaching down past his line of sight, she brought up a soft pull-over crop sweatshirt, watching his eyes smile just a little bit as she lifted it over his head for his arms to pull through. Bringing it down, she let him adjust it as he pleased, biting her lip absent mindedly at the display of his smooth, slightly muscled stomach under the hem of the top.

Undoing his towel, she slowly unwrapped it, feeling his hardness spring up almost violently. She laughed sweetly at his predicament and was elated to see the effect she was having on him. It surprised her a little bit that she herself was being further turned on by slowly walking him through this evening; her loving man letting her lead. Leaving his hardness untouched, she reached down once again and begun sliding a sock onto his left foot. Her hands continue to rise, past his calf, over his knee, and halfway up his thigh before the sock stopped unrolling. Looking up at his face, she saw his mouth slightly parted, his eyes locked on her hands now smoothing out the wrinkles in the thigh high. Adoring him silently, she reached to do the same to the other leg, pulling the sock all the way up and seeing his hardness flinch when she reached the top once again.

"I wanted you to be warm and comfortable tonight, love. You always keep me so warm."

He smiled at this. This man who had spent the better part of a month losing his mind in stress, work, and responsibility, smiled for her; that was all the encouragement she needed. Reaching down again, she lifted his calves into place and slid one of his most comfortable pair of thongs up his legs. She knew how much he liked the slightly-taboo feel of it sitting between his cheeks, and just how perfectly this pair framed his manhood. He owned it in almost every color, and she completely understood why. Pulling him up to stand on his feet, she slid the pair the rest of the way up, making sure to slide the soft material against his rock-hard shaft on the way up and pull his cheeks apart to let it settle between them. The smoothness they both shared after their joint laser treatments made her eyes dart down for a quick moment to take in his shape before she hit it away in his panties. They wouldn't be on him all night, but if she skipped them, she would have absolutely no restraint in taking him deep into her mouth. She longed for the taste of him, and her wet folds twitched at the desire.

--

"Will you do as I say tonight, hun? Will you be good for me? I want to make love to you, my lovely boy."

She knew what those words would do to him before they left her lips. In the months of conversations they shared, riddled with questions and explanations, he had told her how he saw himself. Whether he was dressed this way or not, he was truly and completely hers. Now, seeing him as the work of art she'd cherished, cleaned and dressed tonight, she wanted nothing more than to make him hers. Ideas she usually backed away from, flooded her mind as she imagined how to gently and lovingly dominate this beautiful man in front of her. She needed to draw out his moans of pleasure and test the bounds of his devotion to her; the look of excitement and love in his eyes made her breath catch and her muscles clench once again.