'I'd say it's just you getting lured by those advertisements all over again' I told her.
'Would you atleast see what it says!' she grabs my shoulder. I turn from the computer desk.
'What does it say? For mature people between 8 to 16?' I retort.
'Just read it.' She hands me it like a little girl who wants her father to buy her toy and is telling him about the multiple advantages it has.
'Dick Toss: Wear the silicone dick on your head and let your partner toss rings on to it. Fun party game. Enjoyable. Best ever. And wait here it says in Chinese: Never buy it.' I toss it back to her and return to my work.
'Haha. Sometimes you're so funny I could toss you in the trash.' She mutters and goes away.
What even. I mean, how can someone order things like that. She says she got it from an advertisement on some site she was on and it seemed fun. Yep, so much fun I exhale and return to work.
About a few hours later we had dinner and she went to sleep and I went to watching the television. I was not watching it, more like looking at it and thinking about her. You know when you love someone you can't stop thinking about them.
Especially when they are mad at you. I kept thinking how she could have been right here next to me like always, our legs entangled and popcorn all over the place. How we could be watching the television together, and I'll tell you honestly it's no fun without her.
She always laughs at those stupid commercials and makes me laugh too. She has the most amazing laugh. Commercials. Commercials. Sigh.
Maybe that's where she got the fad. She loves teleshopping and I never say anything since as useless as the ads are, I think the products are okaish. She buys clothes most often and it's fine with me.
She wears them and turns all around and jumps and poses at times to show me. She loves new clothes and the clothes definitely lover her body. I mean, she looks better than most of those girls the commercial guys hire to make the clothes look good.
She bought a green skirt once and she thought was not how they had shown it. I loved it on the other hand. She wanted to return it and was so sad while dialling the customer care.
'I think it looks amazing honey, you sure you wanna return it?' I said hoping to cheer her up.
'It's way too short I would sit down and the whole world will know what panties I'm wearing. And ironically I ordered L instead of an M fearing just that! Urghhhhh' she stomps her foot. And puts her phone on the table.
'It's alright, come on, atleast show me how you look in it, please!' I smiled and yep I wanted to see her dress up. She won't only make the room a happy place but it would definitely bring a smile to her face.
'If you laugh I'll kill you.' She took off to her room.
Five minutes later she comes in pulling down her skirt embarrassingly. She stop and looks up at me.
I knew it. There is already a smile and a blush on her beautiful face. She sticks out her tongue a bit from the side of her lips.
'Let me see now, why on earth would they...make my baby blush so much' I grin and get up to her. She let goes the hem of the skirt and stands straight.
'Stop it you and tell me how is it?' she turns her hips around.
'Well I'd say cute, bouncy and aphrodisiac to the point that I wanna go into it right now.' I do my flirtatious smile.
She slaps my shoulder lightly. 'The skirt I mean.' She says and then laughs.
Finally her spirits are up. Pheww. She dances around. 'LALALALALALA!!' singing.
'Tell me I look like a princess. Huh.' She keeps dancing around the centre table. Laughing all the while.
'Well as much of that ass I can see right now, you're definitely the princess of horny land' I laughed. She laughed too and with a last skip to her dance she got into my arms.
We had sex in that skirt that night and I never let her return it. I think she sometimes wears it at night while sleeping.
...
I look at the clock and come back to the present. I get up and stretch my back and crank my head. I yawn.
'Let's get some sleep.' I tell myself.
I went into the bedroom and lay next to her. She is sleeping soundly, no signs of anger except for the fact that she's hugging a pillow so tightly. I kiss her forehead.
I slept. I think the last thought in my head was to make up to her.
...
A beautiful Saturday morning. I wake up and she's still hugging that pillow. I get up and get washed up and put a toothbrush in my mouth.
I'm wearing my towel around my waist and roaming around the room brushing my teeth. I open the curtains and she's still sleeping. I straighten the sheets on my side and sit there.
I pick up my phone. The usual notifications, hardly a surprise anymore: WhatsApp: replies, good mornings, group chats. Facebook: tags, replies to comments, likes. Instagram: same. News, emails, weather, meh. Nothing I wanna see.
Suddenly I hear the bathroom door closing. I look behind me, she's gone. Great start, no good morning kiss. Sigh.
I keep down my phone and look around the room. I turn on the lights.
There on the dressing table lay the root of all the misery. I pick it up. The dick toss. Why would they wanna toss rings to a dick anyways I wonder.
Behind the packet is a picture of two almost teenagers. One is wearing the dick on his head and the other is tossing the rings at him. Dickheads. Literally.
I open the packet.
The silicone dick has a strap to it to hold it straight up on your head. The rings, I guess 10, are multicoloured. Wow the rings are of some polymer or something, they're so soft. Whoever thinks of these games.
Let's get this over with I tell myself. I wear the dick on my head. Wow, I am unbelievably doing this. I latch the strap at my chin and take out the rings.
I look at myself in the mirror. A strong young man, in his towel with a toothbrush in his mouth and a dick on his head. I look like a centaur unicorn or something like that. Just another typical sight a mirror sees every day.
She comes out of the bathroom just at this moment. She looks stunning in her green skirt. I laugh at the coincidences in my life mentally.
'Good morning beautiful' I go over to her. She doesn't look up and goes past me to the dressing table setting her hair.
'Good morning' she says. She keeps busy with her hair so I just go to the basin and rinse my mouth.
I come back and she's still looking in the mirror. She eyes me in the mirror and jumps around excited. I love her.
'What's up?' I say innocently. Casually.
She comes and kisses me. I kiss her back for a long moment. She hasn't kissed me since yesterday and I've missed this. My actual dick head is suddenly touching the towel.
