Right now, as I stand here with this gun in my hand, aiming for the left temple of my so-called husband's head, I think of nothing but how wonderful it would feel and how beautiful it would look to see that silver bullet slice through his brain. Damaging tissue, veins and memories. To see his worthless body slowly fall forward, his head making a soft tap against the hardwood floors. I would watch silently as his blood spilled onto the floor, creating a pool of crimson liquid.
Then I would wipe the gun of any prints, slip it into his hand and be free. Hell, it was his gun anyways. But, even though all that seemed so damn simple, I couldn't do it. I was prepared, I had everything mapped out. My finger was ready and on the trigger, slowly applying pressure as time went on.
Then, though, I did the most damaging thing I could do to myself. I looked into his eyes. Those beautiful pools of blue, shining with fresh tears. My hand started to shake. Shit...I was losing it! No! This couldn't happen!
I had to get away and re-gather myself, I was really losing it. My glare kept steady as I watched him but, when he least expected it; I released my finger from the trigger and hacked up the worst wad of spit I could, letting it land on his lips.
With a growl I turned and strode away, tucking the gun into the pocket of my leather coat.
"Damn...How could I let that throw me off? Such an idiot..." My voice was sharp with anger.
My husband hadn't done anything particularly 'bad'. He never cheated, hardly ever lied and always kept his overachieving promises. Believe me, I know. Most women would think 'I know all of this because I trust him with all my heart. I love him and that should be enough...' but that doesn't quite do it for me.
I hired a private investigator to keep track of any events that my dear husband decided to take part in. He went to clubs with worker buddies and ever visited stripper bars with large groups of people. Never once did I see him eyeballing one of the scantily clad females nor did I ever witness a single drop of alcohol hit his lips.
I suppose, in all textbook definitions, that this man is the perfect specimen of what a husband should be.
I don't believe one bit of all this crap.
I hate those damn stereotypes.
Even though my sweet husband isn't guilty of any of the usual 'crimes', I know that he isn't perfect. Not at all. There is a major flaw with his entire self. His whole existence is disgusting and foul.
'But why? How is this possible?' Someone naΓ―ve would ask this. Yes, quite naΓ―ve, indeed.
Sure, this man may seem is great - absolutely wonderful, in fact! - physically. Mentally, there is no one person that is worse.
We chatted one day. We were sitting at one of the circular tables in the house, casually sipping teas while learning more about one another. As we talked, he would smile sweetly, honestly, too and listen to each of my words as if I were drooling gold. In two words, I thought, 'That's gross."