I married at 25 and divorced at 27 with a 2 year old and a lot of regret that I was so stupid as to think my ex could ever be a good husband. He wasn't really a good boyfriend even, but I was pregnant and hopeful. Anyway, I had a job and I found some friends who shared an apartment and needed to replace one renter who was moving out of town- so I moved in with the three of them. I had my own room and shared one of the two bathrooms with one other girl. The other two women shared a bedroom with a private bath, they were gay lovers but didn't make a big thing of it. After a while, I considered "dating" again, but every guy I met was pretty much focused on getting his cock sucked and once that happened, fucking me any which way he wanted. I was too desperate to feel loved, but eventually the idea of sex with a guy who doesn't even know my name was not really very ego-raising.
But what other choice did I have? Guys my age were either divorced or said they were (but were still married or just split up), or they were NOT divorced or married, but were totally strange, or they just didn't like girls. By that I mean they didn't LIKE girls, they wanted sex with girls and then they would hang out with guys. They spent so much time with guys they might as well have been gay, but they did not want to TOUCH these guys, so they may not have known they actually were gay?
One day after reading every Craigslist posting that seemed likely, I decided to read others just to see what other people were doing. I had not posted my own, but did read a bunch of postings supposedly by "women for men" and none seemed right for me- I didn't know how (or whether) to mention my daughter, who was now three. Then I started looking at the M4W postings under "Long term" and it was full of BS and the kind of lies I have heard from men my whole life.
As I backed out to the menu, I noticed "misc romance" and realized I had never checked that out and had no idea what miscellaneous meant in this context. I selected M4W and started reading the postings in order and realized it was mostly married guys who wanted to cheat, and a lot of strange stuff (guys advertising for pussy lips!). Then I saw a posting "single mother for me to take care of you" and even though the AGE was listed as 70, I realized that what I really wanted and needed was SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. I expected that to mean more than just fuck me, and although the wording of the posting was vague, it seemed to promise a lot of money ($3000/mo) for upkeep in return for only TEN MINUTES of "togetherness". I was making little more than minimum wage at the time, and getting not that much child support because my ex was unemployed as usual. I must have thought "I would do 10 minutes of anything for $3000 a month". So I replied to the posting, mentioned that I could not host because I lived with three other women, and my age and weight (I am a little overweight). He wrote back and suggested we have dinner someplace convenient for me so we could learn if we were "compatible". I figured "what the hell", I get a free meal and... who knows, maybe more.
I got Fran to take care of my daughter Debby that Friday, and walked to the Sharis a few blocks away. When I walked in, I saw an old guy sitting alone and recognized it was Paul from the picture he had sent: an old balding guy. He stood up when I got to the table, and I could tell from his smile that he liked what he saw of me. I hadn't dressed up, but I did wear a skirt and nice blouse, and carried a jacket because I figured it would get cool once the sun went down. He stood up and I realized he was a very big guy (which he had said), way bigger than any guy I had dated and bigger than most guys, probably 6'4 and 250 pounds, but I didn't ask him for numbers since they didn't really matter to me.
I sat down and he suggested we order and then talk while we were waiting for the food. "Order anything, I suggest you get something very expensive that you haven't had recently."
"Why expensive?"
"Because I am paying, and even if nothing else goes well, you will have a different experience to remember."
I liked that, and decided to order LOBSTER, which I have never had before. He asked him what I usually have, and I said "cheeseburger". That's what he ordered, explaining that if I didn't like the lobster, we could switch so I got something I did like. Plus, he laughed, I like cheeseburgers AND lobster.
"Did you drive here?" he asked.
"No, I don't have a car. Did you?"
"Yes I did. Do you have a driver's license?"
"Yes, but I haven't driven since I visited my folks a few months ago." I didn't tell him where they lived, but he asked and I had to decide how much I was going to tell. While I was thinking about that, I realized that his friendly appearance and easy ways had already made me realize that I would not mind being naked with him and letting him do what he wanted to do for 10 minutes! Interesting how quickly I decided that, but now I needed to make sure that was all there was to it.
"My folks live near Bend, a long way from here so I don't get to visit that often. They sometimes take me out when they are in town for something, which is fairly often since Portland is a lot bigger than Bend. They really love my daughter Debby, and want me to move back to Bend but I had enough of that place, and my Ex-husband lives there and he is such a pain in the ass I want to be far away from him.
"I understand", he said, and explained that he rarely got out of town, but when he did, his wife and he visited grandchildren in Texas. His other grandchildren were in town so they were often at his home for meals and when their parents were out of town. I liked it that he seemed totally comfortable talking about his wife and grandchildren.
I wanted to ask about the 10 minutes of "togetherness" and what exactly that meant, but I didn't want to seem anxious. I WAS anxious. He asked how I liked living with three other women, and eventually got me to describe each of them. I decided to explain that although I "could not host", sometimes all three of the others were out of the apartment, and I could entertain visitors, but it would be sort of anxious for me.
"What about your own apartment? Or do you rely on the others for child care?"
"Too expensive for now, and it took a huge bribe to get one of them to stay with Debby while I came to dinner with you. In fact I need to be back at 8pm! Sorry. And actually I was sorry because I realized how nice it was to have someone to talk to who really seemed interested in me. As we talked, I would ask him questions and he would answer, but immediately turn the subject around to ask what my thoughts and interests were on the subject. Like I asked him about travel and he said he had been to several foreign countries, Alaska and Hawaii and many of the 48 states- but then wanted to know about "your favorite trip". I have been noplace outside Oregon! except one trip to San Francisco when I was in High School. But he wanted to know all about that trip, so I told him and eventually ended up telling him how it was on that trip that I lost my virginity to my ex-husband, who was in my class in H.S. He managed to ask for details in such a nice way that I enjoyed explaining how we had managed to get back to the hotel we were staying in while everyone else enjoyed a performance of some play. He was curious as to why we had never fucked before, but he did not use the word "fuck", he made it sound more romantic. I eventually realized that he was way more educated than me, and had learned about almost everything, and had traveled so many places! He spoke several languages, and seemed to know about anything I mentioned, but did not go into details that it seemed he could have spent hours on. I found myself asking about things I had wondered about, but had nobody to tell me about. For example, I had tried "google" to learn about how plumbing worked, and he seemed to know all about it and had actually installed plumbing in his homes. Eventually I learned he was a retired doctor, but not the kind of doctor who would examine you and prescribe medicine. And he made clear that he could not be "your doctor, or your child's doctor".
We had been talking for a long time when I realized it was almost 8pm and I had agreed to be back no later than 8pm. I explained that I had to go, and he offered to drive me. Suddenly I realized I actually did not know this old man, and why would I feel safe being in a car alone with him.
"I have time if I hurry, it's only a few blocks."
