Finale

Cnut, Leofric and Godgifu scouted the camp at Torksey, a fertile swath of land close to the banks of the River Trent. Numerous shelters and lodges lined the rough paths of the Vikings' army's winter home. Smoke came up in several places, no doubt from fires stoked by metalworkers that were melting down items stolen from England's holy places.

Much to their surprise, there was also a small, but steady, stream of people approaching the camp. Cnut explained that it was known that many English towns nearby did business with the winter camp, but he never heard tell of numbers that would explain what they saw today. Everyone funneled toward a single entry point, where they would relinquish their weapons, submit to inquiries, and hand over a sum of money or goods before being allowed into the camp.

Godgifu whispered to the two men crouched over where she lay behind the bush, "All right, so the plan is, I get in line, go in there and tell them I am a maid you sent to Emma, and then I talk with her and try to get her out of there..."

"No. That is not the plan. You're staying safe here at the ca--" Leofric said, frowning down at her, only to be interrupted by the King.

Cnut grunted in agreement. "Yes. Plan very good. And the Pindsvin not say about when Cnut spray seed on numsen--"

Godgifu looked over her other shoulder to Cnut and rolled her eyes, "Why on Earth would you think I'd tell her about you coming on my ass? Honestly... you think that we'd just be chatting about court or hairstyles and I'd just blurt out 'Oh, by the way--"

"No. You won't be chatting with anyone about anything because you will be here--" Leofric said, tugging her braid to turn her head toward him. Godgifu tugged her braid out of his hand, turned back to the King and raised her eyebrows, waiting for the answer to her question.

Cnut held up a hand, effectively covering Godgifu's entire face, "Cnut knows the women. They get together. They say all the things," he said darkly.

Leofric growled in frustration, "Diva, stop ignoring me. That is a Viking camp. Do you have any idea what they do to people, much less to someone like you?"

Godgifu clenched her jaw and shook her head, "Leofric, you know I should be the one to go. I speak the language and I'm not, well... you two. If you two go and they recognized Cnut in there, they might hold him hostage and there's not a lot of people in the Witengamot that would pay to get him out. You can't go because you look exactly like every guy that's been fighting them all this time and they'd probably kill you on sight. Nobody ever worries about me because I look like a little..."

"Pindsvin... hedgehog, yes," Cnut said absently, patting the top of her head while squinting at the line of men entering the camp.

"So... what do I tell her to get her to leave?" Godgifu asked, worriedly watching Leofric rise angrily and stalk back to their camp.

"Tell her Cnut is here," he said, shrugging as if saying the obvious.

Godgifu snorted and rolled her eyes, "Well, why would that make her leave the camp? You go off to another country after saying the wrong name when you were having sex and all of a sudden she's supposed to jump for joy when she gets a summons from you? No. You need to soften her up a bit. Be nice. Remind her of the good times. Like, what did you say when you asked her to marry you?"

"Not ask. Treaty. Treaty say 'Marry Cnut and promise not kill the Emma's Aethelred children. Send them to France. Not-dead children love France. Chalk cliffs. Good cheese. Everything fine."

"Oh, dear God, you've really been leaning hard on this good-looking thing, haven't you?" Godgifu grumbled under her breath.

"I am Cnut..." he said, shrugging.

"Yeah, you are Cnut... and the Cnut is handsome. But, you know what? If you want to stay married and be a good king, you've gotta work harder than that. You've had it easy because you're tall, gorgeous, rich and powerful. Problem is, you're no longer trying to get a woman to bed, now. You're trying to make your wife happy and that's a completely different thing. A woman might get stupid once or twice about a handsome man, but unless you build more than that, she'll only hate herself more and more every time she gives in to you. Orgasms only make you happy for so long. Not-dead children living in another country aren't a good basis for a marriage, either. It doesn't give you a lot to talk about. I wish Leofric didn't hate the idea of it so much. He would know what to say," Godgifu said, glancing back to the grove of trees where Leofric had disappeared.

Cnut grunted, "The Leofric has good words. Good words... ugly face."

"Shut up!" she said, slapping his shoulder, "He's not ugly! He's just bruised. Don't be a jerk!"

"Why the small women always smæk big men?" grumbled Cnut scowling and rubbing his shoulder. "What Leofric say to win grumpy Pindsvin?" he asked.

Godgifu thought for a while and smiled, shaking her head, "Not a thing, actually. In a situation where most people would have said a whole bunch of wrong things, Leofric just stayed quiet and close and invited me choose whether to talk to him... and it made me want to. He read me perfectly. That's what you need to do. Emma needs you to notice her, to enjoy her... to see what makes her happy." Godgifu sighed, looking up the trees to where Leofric had disappeared in the distance. She hated to do this. She wished there was another way.

"So, what makes the Emma happy?" she asked, poking Cnut in the hip with her elbow to draw his attention away from the camp.

Instead of looking down at her, he kept his eyes fixed on the rough looking camp and sighed. "Not Cnut," he answered simply.

"Well, fine. I'll talk with her and get her to you, but just think about what I said, because making this woman happy just became your biggest challenge," Godgifu said.

Cnut grunted in agreement and handed her a small pack, strapping it on her back and across her front in a way that seemed odd, yet comfortable. Looking back to the camp, she squared her shoulders, trying to be braver than she felt. "Okay..." she said, coughing to cover for her throat tightening in fear, "I'll come back as soon as I can. Tell Leofric... tell him... you know..." she said, wiping away the tears that started falling down her cheeks.

Steeling herself, Godgifu started off for the Viking camp, but found her progress hindered when her feet left the ground. "What are you doing?" she squawked, as Cnut lifted her over his shoulder by her waistband and returned to the grove where Leofric had gone.

"The Leofric ready?" Cnut said, casually hanging Godgifu's kicking and squirming body from a branch on the tree and securing the strap around it that he had wrapped around her body under the guise of securing her pack.

Leofric turned from Harold to Cnut, his face a mask of confused relief. "She's... not going then?"

"Pindsvin easy to catch when think she get her way. You not know this? Why work so hard?" Cnut said, casually ducking as Godgifu's foot grazed his ear. "She watch from here. Know her Leofric safe."

Leofric nodded, glad Cnut couldn't see the fury in Godgifu's eyes. Leaning in and hoping she didn't take a bite out of him, he murmured, "Watch us. If anything goes wrong or if we don't come back by morning, go back to Coventry and tell Sir Hulgar what has happened. Tell no one who supports the Witengamot, just Sir Hulgar," he said, brushing Godgifu's hair back behind her ear.

"How am I supposed to do that? Loosen these straps. Cut me free. He's tied me up here like I'm going to be spit roasted," she hissed.

"How is it that treason is always the answer to every problem you come across? After we're gone, use the knife you're trying to wriggle out of your sleeve. You'll be free in 20 minutes. Now, give me a kiss for luck..." he whispered. Godgifu's lips trembled, unshed tears filling her eyes. Finally, she nodded and lifted her face to his. Expecting trouble, Leofric pecked her lips quickly and just barely dodged a headbutt from his future wife.

With a glare of annoyance, Leofric reached behind her and pulled the hidden knife out of her sleeve, throwing it to the ground out of reach. Then, purposefully, he ran his hands over every inch of her body, removing three more weapons before he finished with her. "You come back," she said, wriggling against her bindings. "You come back, Leofric, or so help me I'll... I'll do the most dangerous thing I can think of... and then I'll keep doing dangerous things until I can join you again," she vowed.

Leofric only smiled, took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly, coaxing her lips with his until he felt her soften and kiss him back. "What did I do to deserve you?" he asked, smiling and pressing his forehead to hers.

"The Leofric was punishment for the Pindsvin tax debt! Come!" Cnut shouted, starting down the hill toward the camp. Leofric sighed, kissed Godgifu one last time, and took off to join the King.

Godgifu watched the two men stride downhill and join the line of people waiting to enter the camp, slipping a length of thick wire out of the cuff of her tunic, careful to avoid the serrated edge carved into one side and began sawing away at the leather straps binding her to the tree. Her eyes never moved from the two men casually joining the line of men waiting to join the camp, trying to read their body language, drawing any possible meaning from the slightest gesture.

Just as the men reached the front of the line, Godgifu cut through her bindings and climbed onto the branch to which she had been bound. When it was their turn to enter, Cnut spoke briefly to the guards. Then, he nodded to Leofric, who reached into his pack for a pouch... probably the money they were charging for admittance to the camp. Leofric handed the pouch to Cnut who passed it over to the guards. They were in! It was working!

Then, Leofric turned toward her, his face lit up by the golden setting sun, and smiled. Godgifu almost raised a hand to wave to him... and then he sneezed. Leofric had done nothing more exciting than sneeze, when suddenly, as Godgifu watched in horror, the guards started shouting and sacks were thrown over both Leofric and Cnut's heads as the men protested, their hands were bound behind them, and they were dragged away kicking and struggling.

*** *** ***

"Watch us. If anything goes wrong or if we don't come back by morning, go back to Coventry and tell Sir Hulgar what has happened..." Leofric's parting words echoed in Godgifu's mind. She had no intention whatsoever of heeding them, but having his voice with her was a comfort as she crept through the darkness around the edges of the Viking camp.

Godgifu was accustomed to sneaking around unseen. After years of sneaking out of the castle, past servants and Sir Hulgar's watchful eye to rid herself of the veils she had to wear and put on the comfortable dress that she wore as Lady Godiva, she could easily melt into shadows or walk through lit places and be mistaken as someone else. These skills served her well as she prowled the cold marshes surrounding the encampment, watching and learning.

She had seen the men drag Leofric and Cnut toward an area where numerous boats had been pulled onto the land and prepared for wintering. Had they been killed? Why would they have been brought to such a place? It didn't look like anyone spent much time out here with the boats. Most of the camp's population preferred the warmer areas where the metalworkers' fires burned. After searching the boat area, the only thing she saw was a disgruntled man arguing with himself as he carved a knife handle out of a piece of bone.

Frustrated, Godgifu took to watching the occupants of the camp instead. Most of the men were engaged in some form of metalworking. Some were sorting pillaged items according to their metal into piles, where they would be moved to different areas of the camp to be broken into pieces and melted into coins or ingots by the ever-burning fires. Slaves were everywhere. Mostly boys and young men, though there were some women, as well. The most menial tasks were reserved for the male slaves: feeding the fires, carrying non-precious items around. The female thralls were most often seen sewing or cooking food, when they weren't regularly being pulled into a shelter to service one of the Vikings.

From what Godgifu could tell, when they weren't counting their plunder or forcing themselves on their slaves, the Vikings mostly argued with each other. It appeared the camp was made up of several disparate groups of Vikings from different areas in Norway, Sweden, and Denmark. The languages were all somewhat similar, and because Godgifu spoke Danish, she was able to understand most of what they were saying. As for why they were arguing, it was surprising how petty it all was.

Apparently two enormous blonde men, Hafdan and Gorm, were at odds because Hafdan used Gorm's favorite cup without permission and dented it when Hafdan came to blows with Toke over the proper lyrics to the song "Orm's Bloody Stump." After knocking Toke unconscious with the cup, Hafdan won the argument, but sadly the exceptional cup was irreparably damaged, in Gorm's view.

Skarde told anyone that would listen that Leif's campsite was encroaching on his campsite. He ended his rants by pointing to a large rock marker he had placed at the border between the two shelters, promising that anyone who dared to touch it would be smelted along with the copper. Godgifu also saw Leif emerge and nudge the rock over a touch when Skarde had gone back inside his tent.

Bjorn was despondent after burning half his beard away while playing a smelting prank on Balder. Apparently, the smelting prank involved a comical explosion of sorts, which killed Balder's favorite bed slave, as well as leaving half of Bjorn's beard charred away. Balder was insisting that Bjorn pay for the loss of his bed slave, and Bjorn was insisting that Balder should cut off half of his own beard first. Balder, for his part, did not appreciate Bjorn's logic.

Most of all, the Torksey Vikings argued about something called "hnefatafl." Godgifu didn't understand the word, but it appeared it was a game involving many pieces on a board. It seemed to be like chess, but with one player starting with their pieces clustered in the middle of the board and the other player's pieces surrounding them.

Godgifu learned that the Torksey camp was having a hnefatafl tournament, which explained the steady stream of people entering the camp after paying a fee. What she also gathered was that the tournament was not going well. Apparently, all the Viking groups that populated Torksey had different rules for playing hnefatafl, and because there was no recognized leadership among the different groups, the tournament that was likely intended as an enjoyable diversion for the colder weather had mounted quite the death toll amongst them. Indeed, it was rare that two Vikings of different bands would sit down at a hnefatafl board and it wouldn't end in blows or bloodshed.

None of this explained why Leofric and Cnut were bagged and dragged away at the main entrance to the camp, but Godgifu hoped that an explanation and news of their welfare would come in time. Considering that the Vikings had no problems with maiming or striking each other dead for the slightest infractions, the fact that Leofric and Cnut were not killed immediately was actually encouraging. Godgifu had no doubt that if the Vikings wanted them dead, Leofric and Cnut would be dead.

It was in a tent-like shelter on the outskirts of the camp that Godgifu found Queen Emma. Unlike the other shelters, it appeared somewhat cleaner and even more telling were the cracks of light between the walls of the tent by someone using candles inside. Gathering her courage, Godgifu waited until she would not be seen, and then crept up to the opening in the tent, where a soft voice could be heard muttering English in a vaguely French accent. "He roughly clasped her slender frame in his manly arms, shocking her untested virtue with the passionate, throbbing heat of his turgid..."

"Um... my Lady?" Godgifu whispered loudly.

The voice fell silent, the occupant obviously pretending that no one was there. Godgifu would have found the situation amusing, if it weren't also so serious. "My Lady, I need to speak with you," she pressed.

Silence.

"My Lady, it is urgent..." Godgifu persisted.

"Just leave it by the door and go!" the voice said, somewhat annoyed now.

"My Lady, I don't have a package. I'm here to--"

"Are you daft? How can you be so tedious? Go away!" the voice yelled, and then an apple core flew out of the tent, narrowly missing Godgifu.

Godgifu, Countess of Mercia, while versed in the usual political delicacies of court, had not had the privilege of practicing patience with imperious and obstinate people for a while. That, coupled with the fact she was cold and miserable from creeping around the camp in a marsh for several hours, may have explained why instead of dodging the passing fruit, Godgifu caught it and returned it to the Queen at a high rate of speed. The core virtually exploded on the back of Emma's head as she hunched over something she was writing.

The Queen of England, Denmark, Norway and some of the Swedes, having thusly been invited into polite discourse, flung the flap of the tent aside, revealing a tall woman of striking presence, and keenly intelligent eyes. "Thorstein!" she screamed.

"Oh crap..." Godgifu said, shrinking back into the shadows. "My Lady, please, I need to tell you something." Emma ignored Godgifu's words and hoisted the smaller woman by the waistband of her pants.

A rather embarrassed-looking Viking came running over from a tent nearby, putting his clothing back into place. Emma held Godgifu out to the man, "Thorstein... take this... whatever it is... to the kitchens and have it cooked. And if you allow one more person to come to my tent unannounced, I will personally--"

"My Lady! Please listen!" Godgifu interrupted, "I am a maid sent here by... someone you know? I've come with an, um... escort? He, uh, also needs to speak with you?" Godgifu interrupted, hoping her hints would be enough to get Emma listen and help her without disclosing in front of Thorstein that one of her escorts was in fact the country's King. "He, um... his English isn't perfect, but he really needs to talk with the Emma. Everything fine. No problem."

Queen Emma stared at Godgifu, her regal face coldly impassive. The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever. Godgifu struggled to remain still under the other woman's acute examination. She had a sudden urge to confess to everything she had ever done in her life, such was the intensity of Emma's scrutiny. After what felt like an eternity, Emma dropped Godgifu into the mud, and turned back toward her tent. "Thorstein, go bring a hot bath. The maid's not going anywhere near my things smelling like that," she called over her shoulder.

"Actually, my Lady, slaves bathe over by the--" Thorstein began.

Emma whirled around and stalked toward the Viking as he shrank back uneasily from her, "Thorstein, when you begin a statement with 'actually,' like I am some deranged creature that needs to be gently reminded of reality, I really do feel compelled to abuse you with one of those tent poles."

"One of those 'turgid' tent poles..." Godgifu offered. At this, Emmas eyebrows raised in an expression of delight and she ran inside her tent and scribbled something frantically. Godgifu looked up at Thorstein in bewilderment, "She didn't just go use 'tent pole' as a euphemism for a cock, did she?" she asked.

Thorstein shook his head frantically with a look of panic on his face, "Hssst! Don't... don't ask about her stories," he hissed, then turned and ran back toward the main camp.