Authors Note,
I'd like to say a huge thanks to AwkwardMD for all of her support. Without her, none of this would have been possible. Also huge thanks to Skulltitti for helping to improve several sections and for advice on the character motives.
Also, please, creating in a vacuum is hard. If you like (Or hate :) ) anything in this story then please let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts and hear from you. Emails or comments are very welcome.
*
David looked around his father's office and let out a long sigh. The room was full of his father's things, his desk, his pictures, his files, and his drawer full of paperclips. Full of things that had mattered to him.
But now they were just things. Without their owner, they meant nothing. They were now just things to be kept or thrown away, and he was supposed to decide which.
David did his best to fight the sadness as he thought of the lost opportunities, unsaid conversations, and perhaps even worse, the memories that ought to have been written down. He felt as if a door was closing on his past and history.
He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. He was supposed to sanitise his father's computer before taking it to the recycling centre.
David clicked through the folders. Deleting everything in one go would have been quicker, but a morbid fascination kept him exploring. It felt like he was learning about a whole other side of his father. Perhaps they'd been more similar than he'd realised.
One of the folders caught his eye: "Curvy Girls--by hair colour." He smiled and clicked it open. Inside were further folders: Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead. From the thumbnails, he could see there were further folders inside these folders. Once again, his father's fetish for cataloguing astounded him. That was definitely something they hadn't shared. He'd always been more of a dump-it-in-one-folder kind of guy.
He looked over his shoulder to double-check that his brother hadn't silently snuck up on him like his soon-to-be ex-wife once had. Then he slipped in his thumb drive and copied the entire folder.
As he waited for it to transfer, he looked at the root list of folders.
Just out of interest, he clicked 'sort into date order'. A small smile formed as he noticed the last download date was only two weeks ago. It was somehow reassuring to know that his father had been well enough until the last two weeks of his life to be able to download filth from the internet.
The computer notified him that the transfer was done.
"Sorry, Dad," he whispered.
He selected the folders. All of them. And hit delete. His father's porn files all vanished into the recycle bin. He followed them there and deleted them again, properly.
His Dad's secret life would remain hidden.
"How's it going in there?" his brother called from downstairs.
"Almost done, I think. How about you?"
"Yeah, I've loaded the car and am ready to go to the tip. I didn't bother waiting for you. I had a feeling you'd be up there all day. Just like he used to be."
He was about to reply when something caught his eye. A file on the desktop named 'Subscriptions'. He clicked it, Excel opened, and there was a neat filing system of all the sites his father had subscribed to. There were columns for the date, the price, the website URL, and then a column called cancelled.
He scrolled down to check that everything was cancelled. They were.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
With a wry smile, he closed the file and deleted it.
Then he switched off the computer and unplugged everything. With the flatscreen under one arm, the CPU under the other, and the keyboard and mouse balanced on top, he walked down to find his brother.
Xx
He felt sick when he saw what his brother had loaded into the car.
"You can't chuck out all of that; it's Dad's research," he said. The car was full of boxes of historical research notes. Some of those boxes contained original Victorian documents his father had collected.
"What do you suggest we do with it? I don't want it. Do you have room for it in your tiny flat? Or maybe you think Rachel will let you store it in the house you still pay for?" his brother said, already irritated.
They were two very different people, not just in temperament. His brother, Fred, was big, bearded, and had a shaved head, whereas he was slimmer, clean-shaven, and had a full head of curly brown hair that was a little grey at the temples. Very few people believed they were brothers.
"Well, no," he said, thinking of his small rented flat at the other end of the country. "But we can't just throw it out; maybe we should get it all scanned."
"Do you have time for that?" his brother said.
"Well, no."
"Then it's got to go. We've got to clear the house, and you can't afford to be sentimental."
"Fucking hell," he said in frustration. "Maybe someone will want it? One of his friends?"
"And they can come and collect it when?"
"Okay, well, maybe we can pay to get it scanned."
"And you are going to pay for that how? I thought you were broke. Didn't your wife fuck you for every penny?"
"I am. She did."
"We can't hang on to crap, he shouldn't have kept it, now it's left to us to get rid of it," Fred said.
David looked around helplessly.
"I'm going to take the books to a charity shop tomorrow, so I suggest you pull out the ones you can take back on the train with you," his brother added.
"Jesus Christ, Fred, you can't get rid of all of them. You know I haven't got space to take them."
"You live on the other side of the country, this house needs to be emptied so we can sell it. I'm not doing this all on my own. You are down this weekend, and as you said, maybe next weekend."
"I've got the kids next weekend," David said.
"Are you going to bring them down?"
"Rachel wouldn't like that," David replied.
His brother sighed. "Then, we have this weekend, and it all has to go. I'm not having this house hanging over us for months while I get stuck paying the bills."
"Doesn't Dad's money cover that?"
"There isn't much of it, I haven't had a chance to see where it's gone, but there isn't much left."
"What about that twenty thousand he was going to give us last Christmas."
"If it exists, I can't find it; you are welcome to take the bank statements home and go through them, provided you don't let your kids colour all over them. But that isn't going to help us now."
"Fine, fine," David said, giving up.
His brother took the monitor and the CPU off him and put them in the car.
"Sorry, dude," his brother said, giving him a thoughtful look. I know it's rough, but he's gone now. He doesn't need this stuff. You don't need to try and impress him anymore."
"I'm not," David said defensively.
"Sure you aren't." his brother said, then got into the car and drove off.
David was left with the feeling that his brother had won the conversation, which was very much part of their adult relationship.
It was so frustrating.
David watched the car disappear and then headed back inside. The house felt forlorn, as if its heart had been ripped out. It felt less and less like his father's house.
He found himself wondering about the missing money. The money had been there, and now it wasn't. That made no sense. He knew his brother wouldn't have taken it without telling him. So where was it? He didn't know and couldn't dwell on it, not when he had so little time.
He looked at the tall, over-engineered, custom-made glass-fronted bookcases that his Dad had built after he'd learned how to woodwork and felt overwhelmed.
He had no idea how he would pick which books to keep. He could probably take twenty, maybe twenty-five, from the hundreds of books on the shelves. There were rare and valuable books on the shelves, as well as books with sentimental value. The choice was impossible.
A scrap of paper tucked into the corner of the bookcase caught his eye. He picked it up, it was his father's writing, not the good writing that he used for others, but his fast scrawl.
"Fred, I'm so sorry for my unwarranted outburst. I understand if you don't want to meet face to face, but would you at least be willing to talk on the phone."
It wasn't dated but could only have been a few weeks old.
David thought of his father sitting alone in the house, writing the note, wanting to speak to his son to make amends before the end. He remembered his brother saying he'd had a letter but wouldn't open it. As far as he was concerned, their father was only reaching out to him because he was ill, not because he was actually sorry.
He felt tears coming and thrust the note into his pocket. At least his brother went to the hospital in the end. That was something.
His eyes scanned around the room, and his memory filled in the blanks of how the house had once been. He suddenly didn't want to be there anymore. He walked out the door and headed for the pub.
XX
"A pint of Amstel, please," David ordered from the bored-looking barmaid. She was pretty in a cute, young sort of way. She had a round face and thick red hair that was tied up. When she typed in her code on the till, he saw her name come up as Tori.
The pub was as empty as he'd expected for the time of afternoon. There were only three cars in the carpark: an old beaten-up Fiat that he assumed belonged to the barmaid, a fifteen-year-old Jaguar saloon, and a large, brand-new, enormous BMW electric car.