"Are you coming out with us tonight?" asked Jenny, the buxom blonde woman who worked in the cubicle next to mine.
"We're all going to the bar for a few drinks."
"I don't know Jenny... it forecasted rain tonight, and—"
"Oh come on Laura! You never come with us! It'll only be a few drinks." Jenny tried to persuade me.
I felt reluctant, but she had a point -- I had never been out with the people from work. They would always come into the office the next morning still laughing and joking, and the truth is that I've always been a little jealous. But I've never had the courage to go. All my life I've been referred to as 'socially awkward' and I guess it's not a lie.
There was another reason for my jealousy, and that had to do with Will. I've got one of those silly crushes on the guy. It's not like I haven't had relationships in the past -- and yet every time he passes me my heart starts to beat a little bit faster. If he says hi I manage to respond with a shy smile, rushing past him before he sees my blush.
I suppose everyone else in the office knows. God, I hope he doesn't know too.
But today, well I was feeling a little more confident than usual, I had just had my hair done -- a deep shiny red that contrasted nicely with my blue eyes -- and I was wearing my new black dress that clung to my hips in a subtly provocative manner. I had carried out in my head an encounter with Will in front of my mirror this morning, and didn't feel as juvenile or pathetic as I usually did. I don't know -- maybe my stars were aligning. But this time I actually wanted to go. I had already decided to go.
"Okay Jenny. There's gotta be a first for everything, I'll come."
As Jenny drove me to the bar I stared out the passenger window. I couldn't stop thinking about Will. The way his dark curly hair always seemed perfectly untidy, his dark, dark brown eyes that almost looked black, and the way his broad shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist and gorgeous ass. I loved to walk behind him and watch the way his muscular back moved beneath his shirt. Every day I look forward to seeing him -- it's the best part of going to work. And now that I had climbed out onto a social limb, I hoped he would be there so it wasn't all in vain. I know that he usually goes to the work outings, but I was paranoid and my brain was only too happy to think up reasons why he wouldn't be there.
As we pulled into the park out the front, I spotted Will talking and laughing to a couple of other guys through the window. I breathed a sigh of both relief and apprehension. I checked my reflection in the mirror quickly to see if my lipstick wasn't smudged, and caught the look of fear in my eyes. I told myself not be stupid and got out of the car.
Just before we walked through the door Jenny paused, turned to me and gave me a wink.
"Good luck, Laura" she said with a smile.
I frowned, and followed behind Jenny into the bar area. One of the men had gone somewhere, but Will and his friend Greg were still sitting on the bar stools. Greg and Jenny used to date, and sometimes still got together for a night of fun once in a while.
"Hey boys" Jenny sauntered past Will and sat down on the bar stool next to Greg with her arm resting on his shoulder. "Buy me a drink, Greg darling, and one for Laura too."
Greg had been too preoccupied with Jenny to see me slide in behind her, and Will was facing away from the door.
"I'll buy you a drink Laura." At the mention of my name Will had turned to me and smiled, immediately turning my insides to jelly.
"No, no it's okay" I stammered at the back of his stool, "I've got some money..."
I walked past him and Greg and waited to be served at the bar. God I am such an idiot. I should have smiled and said yes thankyou and battered my eyelashes. Well I guess it's too late for that now.
He sidled in beside me -- almost giving me a heart attack.
