"Are you sure that you can afford that Ian?"
I was pulling on the door to Kadey's when I heard those words, whereupon my hand released the handle as if it were on fire. Turning in the direction of that voice, I saw Emma, my Mother-in-Law, stepping out of the shadows. More correctly, Emma is my ex-Mother in Law; my wife Anne, Emma's daughter, having died two years previously.
Anne had woken up one Saturday morning complaining of a headache, dizziness and feeling queasy. We'd been to a party the night before -- Emma had baby-sat for us that night too -- so we put it down to Anne having had too much to drink. Anne spent Saturday and most of Sunday in bed, but insisted that she was sufficiently recovered for me to go to work on the Monday.
Having been unable to raise Anne on the telephone at lunchtime I came home in the early afternoon. Other than being hungry, our girls were playing contentedly, with Anne laid unconscious on the floor beside them. Eight days later Anne died from a brain tumour; twenty-seven years old with twin four year old daughters... Life's not always fair.
Back to the present and what couldn't be disputed, was the answer to Emma's question; No, I couldn't afford to visit Kadey's. Though that didn't answer my own questions: What the hell was a genteel lady like Emma doing in this part of town and perhaps more immediately, who was looking after my daughters... Emma's grandchildren?
While Kadey's is notionally a pub, everyone knows that this is just a cover for the brothel within. It's an open-secret, that Kadey's is frequented by working girls and that they rent out their upstairs rooms by the hour. Even the police know it, but as with all the other sleazy dives along Market Street, it makes things... tidier for them to have all the trouble-spots in one area of town, so they turn a blind-eye.
Rather than giving Emma the answer that she was looking for, or at least expecting, I looked toward and beyond Emma as I voiced my own questions: "What're you doing on Market street Emma and where are the girls?"
"Calm down, Marjorie from number eleven's keeping an eye on them... I'm here to see if you appeared again. A friend of mine, Melanie Talbot, thought she'd seen you here on a couple of occasions, so she mentioned it to me; both times were on mid-week evenings when you'd asked me to babysit..."
"So, when you asked me again last month, I got Marjorie to take over once I saw your bus pulling away, jumped into my car and came down here to see for myself. I was parked right across the street when you went through that door and was still there an hour or so later, when you came out again; I was able to drive back and relieve Marjorie before you got home yourself."
I couldn't meet Emma's eyes as I mumbled an apology; an apology that perhaps wasn't very well worded and which Emma promptly over-ruled. "Oh God Ian, there's no need to apologise for your wanting to get laid; I don't expect you to remain celibate for the rest of your life and Anne wouldn't have expected that of you either..."
"But why go with one of the... tarts in Kadey's; surely you could find yourself a proper girlfriend?"
"I probably could, but as you well know, the girls are only just coming to accept that their mum's gone to heaven and won't coming back again. I don't want to risk them getting upset again at the thought of a new, mother perhaps coming into their lives; maybe in another couple of years, but not just yet..."
"... Besides and as you've already alluded to Emma, I can't afford it right now. The cost of a prostitute, in there isn't much more than that of wining and dining a girl and to be blunt, I can at least guarantee to get my rocks off with the women in Kadey's."
At that point our conversation was interrupted by some drunken Welsh bloke. He began telling Emma that if I wouldn't pay whatever she was asking, then he would. In other circumstances I would have burst out laughing at the look of horror which spread across Emma's face, when she realised that he'd thought she was a working girl.
More pertinently, that chap's intervention had drawn us to the attention of the real hookers and more worryingly, a couple of their pimps and minders; interlopers are not welcomed on Market Street. I grabbed Emma by the arm and quickly steered her away from Kadey's and back towards where she told me she'd parked her car.
Having got Emma safely back there, I couldn't fore-shame to return to Kadey's, so I climbed into the passenger seat for a very... quiet, drive home. When we arrived, Emma instructed me to "Go straight upstairs and stay there until Marjorie's gone; we don't want to risk any confusion in the explanation that we give to her."
I did as Emma suggested, visiting the bathroom and then looking in on my darling daughters until I heard Marjorie leave. After taking a further minute to gather myself for the anticipated... uncomfortable conversation to come, I headed back down to join Emma in the lounge; it was a slight relief to see her smiling and proffering a stiff whisky as I stepped though the door.
I made some bland enquiry about the well filled glass that Emma retained, to which she replied "G&T... a shot of Dutch courage." Though it was much later when I grasped the significance of that response. Emma followed up by repeating the story which she'd spun for Marjorie, to ensure that I said similar should the question arise.
There followed a protracted silence and perhaps unsurprisingly, it was Emma who finally broke it: "So... How often to you visit Kadey's?"
I couldn't see any point in prevaricating or lying about anything; I might just as well give Emma straight answers and get things out in the open: "Once a month... It's always on the first Wednesday. That's enough to keep me sane and it's as often as I can afford."
"And what do those girls charge you?"
"I can generally negotiate ninety-quid for forty minutes; including the room."
"Wow! Not nearly as much as I would have thought. A buyers market I suppose; there seems to be no shortage of women hanging around outside there... And do you always wear a condom?"
"Yea... The selection of girls that'll go bareback isn't that great and it's an extra thirty pounds if you do; not that I would anyway... Safe-sex and all that, I can't afford to risk catching anything."
"So do you try to go with the same girl each time; I know that you've been with Mel three times."
That threw me, who the Hell was Mel? Emma no doubt saw the confusion on my face and quickly clarified: "Sorry, I think it's Christine or Kristen or some such when Mel's working."
I was gobsmacked! "Do you mean Kirsty? Is Kirsty that Melanie Talbot woman you mentioned? How the heck do you know her?"
Emma gave a small burst of laughter; it eased some of the tension at least. "Yes, that was it, Kirsty... I was five when I met Melanie, the first day of school for us both. We went all the way through school together and while our lives took very different paths after that, we've remained good friends..."
"I know for a fact that you'll have met Melanie at a few of our parties and summer barbecues; though I'll concede that Mel looks rather different when she's not... dressed for work."
My level of gobsmackedness had not reduced one iota; prim and proper Emma, the lifelong friend of a hooker, What the Fuck! The grin on Emma's face showed how much she was enjoying my discombobulation. "So, is Kirsty one of your favourites?"
I was slow to reply, still trying to stop my brain spinning, but Emma waited me out.
"Yea, I suppose she is, a bit.. classier, than most of the girls and she's kind; if Kirsty's around, then yes, I'd always choose her."
"Albeit that she's rather older than you. Though in her Kirsty persona, Mel does bear something of a resemblance to Anne; is that perhaps a factor too?"
It probably was, but I wasn't prepared to admit it; nor did I feel it prudent to mention that the same could be said and indeed more accurately, about Emma herself. I settled for a non-committal shoulder shrug.
Now it was Emma's turn to pause, seemingly lost in thought; until she broke free from it with an outburst: "OK, so where's the money? Ninety pounds... I didn't give you the chance to spend it at Kadey's"
This abrupt change in Emma's tone and subject threw me once again. Without thought I reached into the pocket of my jeans -- I never took my wallet into Kadey's! - and pulled out the cash. Emma snatched it from my hand and looked around; her gaze settled on an ornamental ceramic jar on a high display shelf and she slipped the notes inside that.