John
25 years old
6' 3"
175 lbs
Auburn, softly curled hair
Brown eyes
It was two in the afternoon. My office was warm, sunlight dripping golden through the windows, lunch sitting solidly in my stomach, my eyelids drooping. The clock ticked softly in the corner, the rest of the room sat empty and still, and I was daydreaming. Imagining my slim fingers twisting and tangling through the thick, auburn hair of John, the office assistant. My eyes stared aimlessly out my window toward the front desk, where, on the other side of the wall, he sat, with his back to me. I'd walk up behind him, run my fingers through his hair, and he'd lean back, eyes still on whatever blog post he was reading, relaxing into me as my fingers lightly scratched his scalp. He'd moan softly, eyelashes fluttering closed, then spin the chair to face me. "What's up?" he'd ask.
Wait. That was real. There was a real person. At the window. I shook my head quickly to clear it, and my eyes focused on John, forehead pressed against the glass, grinning at me. "What's up?" he repeated. I smiled back, wheeling over to the door to let him in. His shoulders filled the doorway for a second, before he flopped into the chair at the adjoining desk.
"Not a thing. You?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm loving this. Super stoked. Just really happy to be here." he deadpanned.
"Ready to go?" I asked.
"Yeah, I've got my stuff in the car. It's only three hours, right?"
"Yeah, I think so. Are we in the same hotel?"
"Let me check." he said. Then he stood up, crossed the room, and bent down next to me to use my computer. His shoulder literally pressed into mine, the heat from his face making my cheek blaze. God, he was perfect. My stomach clenched just at the thought of the next weekend.
It hadn't always been like this. It wasn't all my fault; circumstances were hard. 25 years old, already four years into an ill-advised marriage to an abusive husband, I had just relocated to a new city, when I interviewed for this job, and I met . . . John. And he was so . . . mildly disheveled, his overlong limbs draped akimbo over that damn desk chair, when I first walked in the door. He wore soft sweaters, nerdy glasses, khakis and a ballcap. He had freckles. He was naive, and funny, and despairing, and the only bright spot in an utterly miserable business. He hated the office as much as I did. The minute I saw him, he felt like a kindred spirit.
The first conversation I had with John, he was gushing to me over some 80s movie featuring a young Mark Wahlberg, "You know: back when he was cute." So, for the first few months, I assumed he was gay. I pranced around in my silly little outfits. I flirted with him incessantly. But when he finally started dating, then broke up with, a girl . . . that was when the trouble started.
I couldn't go ten minutes without thinking about touching him. His thick cottony sweaters! His biceps! His hair, God, his hair. Curly and red, overgrown, mussed into some semblance of a mop. I imagined threading my fingers through it - or, more accurately, twisting my fingers into it while I bruised his mouth. One day, he had to come into my office to train me on some new software, and he snuggled right up into my shoulder for a full forty-five minutes. My entire face could have gone up in flames.
There were other times, too, when he'd ask me to come with him to grab a cup of coffee down the street. Sometimes, he'd come knock on my office door all official-like, say "Hey, can I talk to you for a second," then come in and just want to hang out. Why these innocent niceties made me want to climb him like a tree, I honestly don't know. I was just starved for connection.
So after titillating myself all afternoon, I'd come home, strip off my skirt, and get myself off to the thought of fucking John. Everything John did made me want to strip naked and beg him to take me. I was afraid to talk to John, for fear he'd somehow see how much I wanted him to dick me down. And days when the office was empty, like today, I'd wheedle away my time letting my mind wander through any of a dozen scenarios that ended in me straddling that receptionist boy in his desk chair, and fucking his brains out.
This weekend, his boss had opted to send him to a two-day training seminar three hours away. And when my boss had heard about it, she'd decided I should also attend the same two-day training seminar, three hours away. He was clearly feeling very normal about it. I was . . . not.
First, I drove us to the train station, because he was protesting fossil fuel use, and rode his bike to work. Adorable.
Then, we waited for the train, side by side at the station. I would have sat a few feet apart, but no, receptionist boy sat right next to me, the heat of his body melting me into an absolute puddle as he talked.
Then we got ON the train, and as I slid into the window seat, he slid in right next to me. I was down BAD. My breathing was shallow. All my fantasies, combined with the drought that was my actual life, had put me in a truly untenable position. I was short-circuiting. He was talking.
"Do you want to watch a movie? I have my library downloaded." he said over his shoulder, digging through his backpack.
"If you want to! No pressure though. I'm happy to hang out by myself."