Joel & Mrs. Vale 01
I had to skip the grand opening of the Antique store in town because of that whole bat crazy Head Society Club Mrs. Tanner thing, but I made a point to visit the store after things chilled out. I am not so much about antiques, but the store looked nice from the outside and I wanted to keep my outstanding community member status, so I popped in a few times.
Well, the first thing I noticed was the owner, Mrs. Vale and not just her. Her hair stood out. It was silver and I don't mean aging gray, I mean hair saloon silver, which really caught my eye. And yeah, yeah, yeah hair experts, maybe it's actually another color, but it was silver to me and it curl flipped just above her shoulders and best of all, her hair wasn't MILF hairstyle #1, #2 or even #3. It was classic Mrs. Vale and I liked it and it was one of the reasons that I kept returning to the store.
LOL, that was the good side of things.
On the negative side of things, I was a man, so I was the devil. I mean, Mrs. Vale never asked me to leave the store or stab me, but believe me, I was a man, so I was a renegade of the devil. But, to her credit, I must have been one of the lesser devils because after I swindled my first coffee from her, well, she seemed to take over from there, which allowed me to kick back and smirk.
"Don't even think about reading too much into Joel, but I do appreciate your kind comments about my hair. I also appreciate how you don't bother my cashier Marci much. I mean, there seem to be so many man devils running around town these trying to get every 20 something pregnant and I can tell that you are not way, so thanks. So, a double-double bold for your kind comments and your good behavior."
Now, y'all write that down. Joel may be a man devil, but Joel has good behavior. Got it? Also, I may refer to Marci as the peanut gallery from time to time because she pretty much stays behind her cashier counter, you know, scanning bar codes and painting her nails.
"Besides Joel, you're just a man, so it didn't take me very long to figure out how you like it, your coffee I mean, so get that out of your head because that's never going to happen buster. I mean, I'm just an old antique who happens to owns an Antique store, so forget it."
"(From the peanut gallery) and don't forget about those antique undies, oops."
"Mind yourself Mindi, mind yourself. Anyways Joel, you were saying something about putting the word out to the local nerd crew to help me unload that collection of old Super Hero stuff in the back corner? And by the way, wipe that smirk off of your face young man."
"Because your collection of undies isn't antique??????"
"Or I'll wipe that smirk off of your face with a swift kick to the devil nuts, you know, before I set you on fire."
Yup folks, that's the lady I am trying to hustle. I mean, yay me, right?
"So, Joel, shouldn't you be pushing some buttons on your phone to spread the nerd word on your social media?"
Oh, I'm pushing her buttons alright and from what I heard, I'm breaking her down.
"And that's another thing you can forget about. I'm sure you are quite capable of pushing your own buttons, so forget. And by the way, we should keep our voices down going forward. Marci is the voice of youth and you and I are may not be the best influence for her."
Cool, that's put me one year older the than the voice of youth and by the way, that statement clearly stated that things would be moving forward, going forward. Not to mention that Marci wore ear buds most of the anyways, so whatever.
And that's about how it went for the next week or so. It was a nice balance though. On one hand, the coffee became basically the normal and on the other hand Mrs. Vale reduced her threats to kick me in my devil man nuts by at least 50%.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, I spread the nerd word and I think Mrs. Vale sold most of her old Super Hero stuff, which raised my status from a man devil to still a man, so still a devil, but a nice one. I mean, the card didn't fit into any of the slots in my wallet because it was so big to carry such a title, but it was worth not getting kick and then set on fire.
"Oh, well, keep going Joel because I think that makes you 0 for 3 because I have zero plans to make you a Sunday morning coffee, even though the Antique store is closed on Sunday's, which would seem to give me extra time to be able to serve you a double-double bold in bed. Besides, Marci already called me out in front of you a few weeks when she accidently "oops" the status of my undies. Antique was the word she used I believe and I promise you that you don't want to see that! But thanks for the nerd crew. They bought a lot of stuff."
"Alright, Mrs. Vale, let me ask you a question and if you can't answer me with 100% honesty, then there is no point in me even asking."
