Joel & Mrs. Hill 01
Whatever, right? I mean, Mrs. Hill claims to have found me leaning up against her street lamp post looking like death, so who was I to argue? Especially since my memory seems to be failing me all summer with so little time for rest.
"Huh, what? Where am I? Am I dead and the heavens have soft beds like this? Also, is there smelling salts in the heavens?"
"Hush Joel, hi, ah, you're safe in my bed and you've been out of it for almost 24 hours. And the smelling salts were my panties. Do you feel better now that you've gotten some rest?"
"What? OMG, Mrs. Hill, WTF?"
"Hush, I found you all crazy and stuff outside against the lamp post and I brought you inside to care for you. Here, I made you some homemade chicken soup, thick with chunks of chicken and noodles. Eat and compose yourself. I'll check in on you in a few minutes. By the way, LOL, I can see your front door from my front porch and my o my, don't you have a lot of ladies who come a knocking, right? Eat Tiger."
Ah, hell no, this can't be happening to me, right? All crazy up against the lamp post? Seriously? Not that I was complaining about how comfortable her bed was, not to mention huge.
"Ooh la, la, baby ate it all, cool. Care for a cup of tea, Joel? And I research a little something about tea bagging on Chang, so that's an option too, even if my tea bags are on the small side."
"Coffee! Double-double bold, one and one, please Mrs. Hill."
"Ah, come on Joel, you should call me Hillary from now on. By the way, can we try that tea bagging thing while your double-double is brewing? I mean, I'm small, but still perky, right?"
Well, why not? I mean, she already dressed in my favorite coffee brewing attire, so what the hell.
"Hmmm, Joel, you're gentle with the nibbling! By the way, my younger years were a little weird, so feel free to fix that for me."
"Weird?"
"I've never been finger banged, especially while wearing my panties, so feel free to reach down there and expand my life experiences, Tiger. I mean, all of my girlfriends used to talk about it all the time, so catch me up."
"Hmmm, tea bag, tea, tea bag!"
"Sure, thing stud. And oops, I forget what my girlfriends used to say about who licked the fingers that finger banged them, LOL. Me or you? Oh, I guess it's you, stud. Hope you like my taste."
"Bag me, bag me, tea bag me!"
"Every night, Joel, whenever you want. By the way, I didn't mean to mislead you with their perky firmness, but they are too small to sag, right lover stud?"
"Hmmm, tea is good. Hey, wait, is that used duct tape and rope on the floor?"
"Hush and no never mind my kidnaping tools. You were out of your mind and I saved you. Now, I'll go fetch your double-double while you kick back and no playing with yourself while I'm gone. You don't have to do that ever again, unless you find it exciting to stroke off on my ass, baby. Kiss me."
Ahh, I could have stayed like forever, right? No more jacking off into paper towels, wet juicy fingers, like finger licking good and a perfect shade of pink coffee brewing wear. Ahh, this is the life, right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I was still concerned about that used duct tape on the floor, but for now, ahh.
"Here you go Mr. Lover Boy, one fresh double-double and my sweet scent on the side. By the way, I was thinking about reinventing the "panties of the day" concept, if you don't mind. I love a man who enjoys the scent that only a woman's panties can provide."
"Oh, Mrs. Hill, I don't deserve you or such wonderful treatment, but there is something I would like to ask you about, not that I want you to stop rolling my balls in your hands or anything."
"I'm your woman now, so ask me anything and you just tell me if I'm squeezing too hard, baby. And let's not waste time with how easily you pop off. You're weren't naked when I put you to bed, so we'll manage, missile man."
"Alright, well, are you avoiding a story about why you're single? Like did you catch your lousy no-good faggot cheating husband with a twinkle toe queer named Butch? I can handle the truth, Hillary."
"No baby, it wasn't like that, LOL it was the other way around. I was married to Butch, but that's over now. I made a mistake honey, which I promise to never make with you. No mistakes and no more duct tape. So, forgive me???"
"Ooh, of course, everyone makes mistakes and that Butch guy seems to be a smooth talker, so it probably wasn't your fault and all is forgiven."
