I texted the rest of the crew. We needed to meet as early as possible to discuss the recent events. The guys had no idea yet of what was transpiring. I suspect it will cause some or the same turmoil in their minds. Gus and Nick have families. They have good jobs plus the income from playing. Is it worth the risk to leave all that?
I wouldn't begin to answer for them. Like Jessica and me, it must be their choice as well. I gave them all the info I had. They smiled at first. It's cool to think someone likes what you do that much.
Then I watched as the faces sobered. The discussion ended and the five of us agreed. We'll try it and see what happens. None of us are willing to jeopardize what we have. Family being paramount. I will make the call and see about setting up studio time after the New Year.
Now we need to tune and get to work.
Playing music for me, and I think the others, is more than just a job. It is an escape of sorts. Performing well means concentration, practice, and devotion to what you are doing. All your physical and mental powers come to focus. Letting outside concerns hinder you is deadly. Like I said, we are professionals. The weekend and New Year's Eve. We have plenty to keep us busy. None of us drink while working. Double espresso is delivered to the piano.
The hotel and lounge are awash with revelers. Jessica is radiant the entire time. The smile she flashes as she sings melts even a scrooge heart. I do love playing with these people. We groove like no one I have ever played alongside. It is a long weekend with very little rest.
The Sunrise of January 1st and Jessica and I are driving home. Well, I'm driving, she's sleeping in the passenger seat. The lounge will be closed tonight. No one works.
The routine once home is simple. Lock the door, shower, and block all possible light from the windows. Not only is the alarm clock hidden, but it is also unplugged and buried at the other side of the house. Over kill you might say. No phones in the bedroom. Nothing that will interrupt our sleep. Jessica and I shower or maybe just stand in the hot stream of water. We dry and shuffle to the bedroom. Jessica just stands there looking at the bed.
I ask.
"What are you waiting for?"
A bleary-eyed response.
"I'm waiting for you to get in the bed so I can lay on you. I don't plan on moving."
Well, I can't have her waiting. I slip into the sheets and blankets. My arms raised towards her. A happy smile and Jessica is on me. Soft sheets and warm blankets envelope us in unbelievable comfort. Seconds later, sleep overtakes us.
New Year's Day is into the afternoon before we wake. There will be no working at the lounge tonight. I have given up trying to sneak out of bed without Jessica knowing. She always feels me move.
So rather than try, I just say.
"Let's get up and have some espresso."
She doesn't say anything but pulls a blanket from the bed, wraps it around her, takes my hand, and goes with me to the kitchen. Jessica stands and waits as I brew. She gets the first cup and sips as I prepare the second. Then Jessica pulls me to the sofa and pushes me down. I am then covered with her and the blanket. We sip in silence. Jessica's cup is drained.
"More!" she exclaims.
With that she slides off me. For motivation, she slaps my ass. I see she is playful today. Two cups of steamy espresso and a return to Jessica and her blanket. More cuddling and sipping. This is nice. But I am going to have to have something to eat soon. Espresso does this to me. We rise and go to the kitchen. Scrambled eggs are fast and easy. Once my appetite is sated, I feel better. Back to the sofa and the blanket. Quiet reflection, shared warmth, and the feel of flesh on flesh. I think we even dozed off a little. So easy when you are comfortable with someone.
I wake up somewhere in the middle of the afternoon. Jessica is already and wake and smiling at me.
"What?" I ask.
"Oh nothing." She speaks.
"Just sittin' here looking at the most handsome wonderful man I've ever known."
Now I smile too. The afternoon sun bounces off her hair. And her hair is a mess from sleep. Not one speck of makeup on her face, but she is by far the most beautiful woman I know. A falling blanket reveals pale breasts, arms, and shoulders. I suddenly have a strong desire to kiss all those. Jessica's hands and fingers run through my hair and guide me to each place. She moans softly as I become more aggressive. We both breathe more heavily. One of her hands reaches down to take me in her fingertips.
The fingers of my hand reach to find her. She is getting wet. Slow massage and penetrations cause her to swell and wetter still. It's time to move her over me and push her down. That first feeling of her is extraordinary. It is a slow time. A loving time for us. Jessica's arms wrap my neck, and her body gyrates up and down against mine. Her body tenses as she orgasms. I have been fighting to wait for her. I release deep inside her while pushing her down as much as possible. This was slow and very intense.
Jessica whispers.
"That was nice. New Year's sex. Our first time this year."
We never got around to dressing for the day. Jessica seemed content with her blanket, and I did put on some sweats. Dinner consisted of a large salad. We didn't watch any parades or football. There was some light jazz in the background. Jessica and I were totally involved with one another the entire day. I would massage her shoulders and back or rub her little feet. Then she would rub my shoulders and back. Jessica thought baby oil would be a good idea. It made us both very slick.
The sight of her naked and shiny body had me up in no time. Making love when we are both oiled up was a fabulous experience. We played with one another all afternoon. Loving, touching, kissing, and holding. Exhausted now, we headed for the shower and bed. A wonderful day with Jessica. More to come, I hope.
The next day is back to business for us. Well, and then some. I need to set up a couple of meetings with the recording people to sit and talk. One meeting for the quintet and the other for Jessica and me. You already know it has given us much to consider. Also, I think we should meet on Saturday. This way, Gus and Nick won't have to miss any work.
I suppose I tend to be very protective of their time.
The holiday music is all done. I am a little sad about that as we had such a good time playing it. There are moments when I find myself working on play lists in my head. Making mental changes to keep what we do fresh. I have learned to bounce ideas off Jessica. She is most helpful with this and has suggestions I don't always think of.
Then we clean the house, do laundry and other mundane items that require our attention. We both spend time with Doris and practice. It has been a while since I played clarinet. Jessica is rather insistent I will return to practicing this as well.
While we do household chores, I notice Jessica placing a hand on her abdomen. She does this a couple of times. I ask if all is well. She says yes, but I note concern on her face. Maybe I was too hard on her yesterday?
Later in the day, Jessica tells me she would like to stop at a drugstore. I guess I don't think anything about it. She always tells me when she wants something. To accommodate her wishes, we leave early for work. The stop is made, and she comes out with a bag and something in it. I don't know what it is. But this I have learned. If she wants me to know, Jessica will tell me.
We get to work and do as always. It is a quiet ride. Tune the piano a little and then to the green room. Jessica seems a bit pensive. I know her well enough to know that she has memories or ghosts that haunt her. Jessica will tell me when she is ready. I won't push her. But I confess, I am concerned.
The tuning goes well, and all is ready. It was an uneventful night. Few patrons at the lounge. We are on our way home before midnight. Once home, Jessica is quiet. I offer to wash her in the shower, and she accepts. She does tell me that she doesn't feel like making love tonight. I figure she is just tired or preoccupied with her thoughts. I am content to take care of my girl and then take her to bed and we sleep.
Jessica is the one up early the next morning. She has espresso ready for us both. We sit at the table sipping. Jessica seems nervous to me. I become anxious when she asks that we make a doctor's appointment for her. The sooner the better.
I have a furrowed brow and ask what's going on?
She asks me to be patient as it may be nothing. Jessica just wants to make sure of something. Now I am on the edge of freaking out with concern and worry. Jessica reassures me she is okay, and I shouldn't worry. It's those kinds of statements that cause me uneasiness. I am on the phone quickly and the earliest possible appointment is made. We are lucky and they had a cancellation.
It's in two days and on our day off.
My mom used to say things like that when she was ill. "Don't worry" And then she died.
I try to probe and find out, but Jessica is very tight lipped. She does, however, want to be next to me every second. I try to hold her as often as I can. I want to reassure her and be here for her.
The rest of the morning and early afternoon is normal I suppose. As normal as I can make it be. Jessica and I go about the usual tasks. This is unsettling for me and I'm not certain what to do. Other than be patient. The evening at work goes well. It does give us both something else to think about. Jessica sits in my lap at break time as usual. She mostly just leans on me and traces my face or chest with her fingers. Not much talking.
The arrival home is a shower and bed. The next night was the same in all respects. The morning of the appointment, Jessica is up long before me. It is apparent she is anxious. We had espresso and breakfast. Then it is off to the doctor's office. We check in and there is a ream of paperwork to be filled out. I swear these are some of the most bizarre questions.
Things like "Do you own a gun."
"Sexual preference."
"Country of origin"
What do these have to do with visiting a doctor? But we dutifully answer each item. There is the wait. I understand some lag time. By the time it became an hour, I was irritated. The nurse calls Jessica's name. I get up to go with her, but Jessica wants me to stay in the lobby.
Now I am very irritated. But I do as she requests. All I can tell you is this. Jessica is gone forever, or it seems so. I managed to look through each magazine on the table. All two hundred and fifty-three of them. Not one was new.
So, I sat, and I sat and I sat some more. There was an elderly gentleman across the room. He was extremely pale. I considered going to see if he was still living. But then he coughed.
Jessica had been gone forty-five minutes. Suddenly there she is. There is a brief stop at the nurse's desk and an exchange of pleasantries before Jessica joins me.
She is smiling but still speaks nothing.
All she speaks is.
"Let's go home."
Jessica smiles the entire drive.
Finally, I can't stand it.
"What is it? Why are you smiling? What's wrong with you? What did the doctor say?"
Her answer.
"I'll tell you when we are home."
The fact that she is smiling makes me feel less worried. Now I'm wondering what she isn't telling me.
We arrive home and go inside.
