I stood outside, cigarette in hand, breathing in the summer air and the smoke and the traffic fumes. I'd finally found the pub, hidden among the narrow back streets of central Sheffield, buried under suffocating ivy. I was shaking, and sweating. It was unusually warm, even for July, and my jacket and nerves weren't doing me any favours.
Removing the jacket and slinging it over my shoulder in what I hoped was a casual manner, I checked my watch. I was late. So was he. I took out my phone and absent mindedly looked at Facebook, trying not to get lipstick on my fingers as I smoked my cigarette.
"Oh, hello there," came a voice from behind me.
Fuck. He wasn't late. "Hey, Gareth!" I exclaimed, probably too enthusiastically given the situation.
I'd usually greet friends with a hug or even a kiss on the cheek, but that seemed inappropriate. Gareth wasn't my friend, he was my professor. He'd got his first teaching job at the University of Sheffield, where I recently finished my Archaeology degree. Bones and stuff. I love it, somewhat ironically, given the size of me. I'd never been a slim girl, but four years at University had really seen me pile on the pounds. People talk about the 'Freshers' Fifteen'. More like the Fresher's hundred. At 5 foot 7, I tipped the scales at 250lbs. I hated my body, but the student lifestyle dictated that I drank beers, stayed up late and survived on a diet of junk food and energy drinks. I'll get rid of it, once I'm a postgraduate, I kept telling myself.
Anyway, Gareth. Postgraduate. That's why we were meeting, we'd arranged to meet to discuss my options for a PhD at the University. Most students did a Master's Degree first, but Gareth seemed adamant that I'd apply to doctoral training straight away. I was pretty nervous about the meeting, especially since I'd had absolutely no idea what to base my thesis proposal on.
"So, had any thoughts about the proposal?" he asked, plonking a pint of cider down in front of me and splashing it on his hand.
"Umm..." I panicked, trying to think of something intelligent to say. Gareth licked the splash of cider off his hand. God, he had lovely hands. Gareth had lovely everything. He was easily six feet tall with a chiselled, handsome face and a real hard body. I wondered if people thought we were on a date. This Greek God, a chubby chaser. I laughed to myself at the idea.
"Funny, huh?" he asked.
"Sorry, I just... no, I've no idea where my proposal is going to be honest"
"Not to worry. That's why I'm here. So you're going to continue with your research on the skeletal, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so". The way he said the word 'skeletal' made me uncomfortable. As I sipped the sugary cider, I became increasingly aware of the sheer size of my body. Especially next to him.
"Well, that's a start. Let's take a look at some of these course guides."
The next hour or so passed in a blur. Gareth showed me the prospectus for the University's PhD programme for archaeologists, along with other similar coursers in the area. He bought me another drink, and another. We smoked, and drank, and made nerdy archaeology jokes.
I could feel myself getting drunk. Not seriously hammered, but certainly not sober. As my head became fuzzier, I moved closer to him. Or maybe he moved toward me? I couldn't tell. But in the couple of hours we spent talking, we went from sitting at least a foot apart on the bench to sitting side by side, thighs touching. He went to pull a cigarette filter from his pocket and his hand brushed against my leg.
"Sorry", he mumbled as he rolled his cigarette. I watched his deft hands as he twisted the paper, popped it into his mouth and lit up.
"No worries", I laughed. I was laughing at myself, really. How ridiculous I was. He had accidentally touched my thigh and I was practically swimming in my own wetness. I was lucky I had a padded bra on, as my nipples had stiffened to attention. God, he turned me on so much.
"So, fancy another drink?" he asked me as he drained his glass.
"Oh, I should probably be getting off soon. I mean, going home," I awkwardly stumbled over my words. I wanted to go home soon, SO I could get off. Sitting in this close proximity to Gareth for an extended period of time had got me ready for a solo session.
"Go on, Jess. One more won't hurt. It's on me." he insisted. I smiled, accepting silently, and Gareth got up and went inside to the bar. Minutes later, he returned empty handed. "Fucking hell, sorry. I've not got any cash left, and their card machine is down."
"Never mind!" I replied, slightly relieved at the opportunity to, well, relieve myself.
"Hang on, I've got an idea. My place is only around the corner and I've got a few beers in the fridge. You could come back to mine for a couple, if you like?"
Gareth. Gareth Philips. As in, Gorgeous Gareth, the dreamiest lecturer on campus. He'd just invited me back to his house for a drink. This was not happening. Except, I guess, it was. Just a drink, though. As colleagues, practically!
"Why not?" I stood up and pulled my jacket around myself, shoving my cigarettes into my bag and swinging it over my shoulder. "Let's go".
Gareth and I ambled back to his place, around a ten minute walk away. We laughed and joked as we walked, and in our slightly tipsy states, kept walking into each other. His hand brushed against mine at one point and I thought I was going to explode on the spot. "This is it" he said, as we reached his front door. He unlocked it and I stepped inside. He followed and locked the door behind us. He kicked off his shoes and chucked the bag full of prospectuses into the hallway. I bent down to remove my shoes, cursing myself for wearing buckle ups so fiddly. Suddenly, I became aware of a shadow over me. Gareth stood tall in the hallway, hand leaning on the wall, so close to me. I caught his eye and he smirked.
"Oh, Jess" he laughed. I blinked, confused. "You're so cute."
I laughed, nervously. I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that, and besides, with my ballooning stomach stretching against my t shirt and my plump thighs spread out as I crouched, I was far from cute. Finally wrestling my shoes off, I stood back up. Gareth reached his hand toward me and cupped my face.
"So. Cute." he repeated.