Jenna and the Coronation

It was Thursday morning and the coronation of King Charles III was by now, tantalisingly close. Over at St Michael's vicarage however, all was not well.

"What do you mean we can't have a street party outside the church this Sunday?" Reverend Morris exclaimed. "There was no problem last year when we had the Jubilee celebrations."

The council official at the end of the line muttered something about it being the Mayor's rule, and hung up.

"Bloody councils," the vicar moaned. "Full of useless overpaid pen-pushers. The Mayor's coming to visit our church later today too. I've a good mind to raise the issue with him face to face."

Jenna raised an eyebrow. "I thought being a mayor was just a ceremonial role. How come he's not letting the church hold a street party?"

"Some red tape about obstructing the King's Highway or something."

"But we're holding a party to honour the new King! Surely rules can be waived just this once?"

"We could always pretend to be eco protesters," Reverend Morris remarked.

Jenna uncrossed her legs and began thinking. "That Mayor needs some persuading. "I can't have Simon's plans ruined by pesky red tape..."

Mayor Harrison Buckingham rolled his eyes as he turned into the small car park of St Michael's church hall.

"Right, time for another tedious hour shaking hands with old ladies and giving fake smiles," the corpulent man muttered as he parked the Jaguar.

"Keys," his wife replied.

"What, you're not coming in with me?"

"Not a chance. You can do this all by yourself, darling. I'm off to the Trafford Centre for a spot of retail therapy."

"But...but, Pauline, you're the Mayoress! And how am I going to get home?"

"And you're the Mayor dear. A small church like this only needs one of us. Our house is five minutes from this church. You could either phone a taxi or do something really daring, such as walk home. Keys."

He grumbled to himself but did as she asked.

"Ah, he's here," Reverend Morris said. Jenna observed the approaching man carefully. Aged about sixty, overweight, and with greying hair that was dominated by a large and very obvious toupée. His gold mayoral chains glinted in the late spring sunshine.

"Ohh, he's a chonky lad."

"From what I've heard, he's dishonest and drinks a lot." Reverend Morris whispered. "His smile is as fake as that hairpiece he's wearing. Norman Winstanley knows him from the Men's Fellowship meetings, and said he's made a fool of himself several times."

"Perfect qualities for someone working on the council then," Jenna smirked.

"By the way, I heard Norman has moved in with Gladys Wilcox and become her lodger."

"There's something kinky going on between those two, I'm certain of it." Jenna said.

"What? As if. She's in her eighties!" The vicar gasped.

"Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's gone out!" Jenna replied. "Although Gladys once confessed to me that she had a bit of a fancy for Gordon. I guess Norman's her second choice as he was willing to do whatever she asked of him."

Reverend Morris' eyes widened. "I'm sure he only helps her with D.I.Y and her shopping."

"Well I still think there's more to it. Mark my words. I don't think Gladys is the prim old widow you think she is!"

Reverend Morris fiddled with his surplice. "Ah, good afternoon Mayor!"

"Hello there, Vicar!" He shook hands. "Oh and who is this lovely lady? Your daughter I presume?"

"No, my wife, Jenna."

"Ah, my bad. Dearie me, either you're his second wife or you've got a bloody good plastic surgeon! Hahaha!"

Reverend Morris cringed. "Jenna is my second wife. Lucy and I divorced a year ago.

"Oh I see. Well don't blame you there, Reverend. Wish I could do the same but She Who Must Be Obeyed won't let me. Hahaha!"

"Where is the Mayoress?" Jenna interrupted.

"Afraid she's...tested positive for Covid," the Mayor lied, hoping that they hadn't noticed his wife driving away.

"Oh what a shame," Jenna replied. "So you're all alone? Never mind, I will be glad to show you round our beautiful church."

"Can't stand the bloke," Reverend Morris whispered to his wife as they entered the church. "There's tactless and then there's downright offensive. The man's a complete buffoon."

"Leave him to me," Jenna said. "I don't mind showing him round."

"I'm not leaving you alone with that creep!" Reverend Morris exclaimed.

"Oh Simon, I can easily handle a chubby chap in gold chains. He wouldn't dare do anything in a church, surely?" She was desperate to get the Mayor alone.

"In this day and age, can't let your guard down..." He was interrupted by Norman.

"Sorry to interrupt, Vicar. The builders have arrived to repair the church hall roof. But there's another problem."

"Can't this wait, Norman? We're just showing the Mayor round."

"Afraid not." He lowered his voice and whispered. "They've discovered asbestos."

"What? Oh no! That'll cost a fortune to remove. And I've spent weeks promoting that church roof fundraiser. I'm not running any more quarter marathons!"

"Yeah. Not good for the church finances, but the hall can't be used until it's all been removed by a specialist company. It can't be done until after the Coronation weekend. I've been speaking to the Treasurer and he wants you to give the green light to get someone in to get it sorted. Could you just pop round and sign some paperwork?"

"Sure, no problem." He turned to Jenna. Before he could say anything, she stopped him.

"I'll take care of you-know-who," she smiled, and gave both of them a wink."

"Looks like it's just you and me, Mr Mayor," Jenna said, taking hold of the Mayor's arm. "Do excuse my husband, but I'm afraid he's just found out there's asbestos in the church roof, so that means we can't hold our Coronation party in there." Jenna gave a loud and deliberate sigh. "And what with the ban on having a street party, I don't know what we're going to do. Maybe you could pull a few strings and allow us to block the road...just this once?"

The corpulent official adjusted his shirt collar. "Mrs Morris...I appreciate how upsetting that must be for your church, but..."

"I'd be ever so grateful...and I'd make it worth your while in ways you could never imagine..."

Now he was intrigued. "Oh? Bribery is it? Well I'm anyone's for a bottle of single malt. Or a good box of cigars..."

"Oh I'm sure I could run to that, Mr Mayor. In fact I could give you even more than that if you'd just let me show you."

"Ooh, you've whetted my appetite already. What could be better than whiskey and cigars?" He was no stranger to taking backhanders.

"Something like this?" Jenna said, reaching down and squeezing his thigh.

The Mayor jolted in surprise. He grinned and gave her a flash of yellow teeth.

"Are all vicar's wives as welcoming as you?"

"I truly couldn't say. But I do have a thing for men in suits who wear ceremonial chains," Jenna continued, still massaging his thigh. He was smiling and winking at her and she noticed a bulge growing in the front of his light grey trousers. Her eager eyes kept involuntarily fixing on it.

"I can show you my ceremonial mace if you'd like," the Mayor whispered, his plump face red with lust. Thank God Pauline chose to go shopping! He thought.

"Mmm, I would love to get my hands on that," Jenna said. "Let's go over to the organ. It's got a nice big stool for you to sit on."

He just nodded excitedly. Upon arriving at the organ, the Mayor and put his hands on Jenna's arse and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around his sweaty neck and wrapped her legs (as best she could) around his fat waist. He pressed his mouth against hers and plunged his tongue in. His breath was scented with whiskey and cigar smoke, and as his actions proved, it had been a long time since he last got laid. Not so much a kiss as being slobbered by a dog, she thought. Jenna broke the kiss and beckoned him to sit on the stool.

"Ah, want to see my ceremonial mace, you hungry girl?"

"Definitely, Mr Mayor!" Jenna said, wiping a gallon of saliva off her face.

He unzipped his trousers, revealing white y-fronts similar to the ones Gordon wore, however that was where the similarity ended. While Gordon's were nice and clean and fresh, the Mayor's underpants bore several piss stains and were definitely overdue for a change, as a ripe smell wafted forth.

Dear God, Jenna thought. Who would believe it. The Mayor of our town having such dirty undies! She was a bit disgusted, but still curious to see more.

The Mayor pulled out his cock, and before Jenna knew it, she was face to face with his "ceremonial mace." It was small, but fully erect. He was smiling down at her with his discoloured teeth.

"There, what do you think, eh?"

"Ooh it's a lovely one," Jenna replied. My God, compared with my husband or Gordon, he's tiny! Still, good things come in small packages, as they say.

"Don't be shy dear," the Mayor added, desperate for more.

His dick was sweaty and smelly. Wrinkling her nose, Jenna slipped her hand round it and began jacking it, wondering why it smelled so bad.

"Ahh, yes. That's the way, sweetheart. I might have to start attending this church...ahh! Open you sweet little mouth, my darling."

Jenna slid the foreskin back and noticed a lot of smegma. "Mr Mayor, someone's a bit of a dirty boy."

"That's alright, dear. You can clean it off for me."

She turned away but he gripped her head firmly and pulled it back towards his cock. Unable to resist, Jenna's mouth suddenly opened and he slid closer, holding her head steady until he had thrust his whole shaft inside.

It didn't take Jenna long to get used to the smell, and as she worked her magic on his modestly-sized prick, she found she quite liked the taste of mayoral cheese, and licked it all up. He moaned in ecstasy.

A minute later and the dirty, corrupt fat bastard shot his thick, tangy load of spunk down Jenna's throat.

"Ahhh. Praise be to the Lord," the Mayor groaned, when she finally withdrew.

"There, the mace has been polished," Jenna smiled, zipping him up. "And now, Mr Mayor, about the street party. I would really appreciate if you could ensure it's able to go ahead. Also, if you could donate a few thousand pounds to aid in the asbestos removal at the church hall..."

The Mayor stood up. "A few thousand quid? Now steady on lass, I'm usually good for a bob or two, but there's a cost of living crisis..."

"Hmm, I understand times are hard, but you see, refusal isn't really an option. This church has concealed CCTV, so it would be a dreadful shame if footage of your ceremonial mace and dirty underpants were to somehow end up on the Internet..."

Forgive me Lord for telling a lie whilst in church, she said to herself.

The overfed official looked mortified. His lip quivered. Utterly defeated, he shrunk back down on the stool, as timid as a lamb. "Umm, whatever you require...I-I'll make sure you get it."

Jenna smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you so much Mr Mayor. You're a true ass...asset to this town. And I really did enjoy polishing your ceremonial mace."

At that moment, the church door opened and Reverend Morris came marching down the aisle.

"Sorry for taking so long," he prattled. "What a nightmare now this asbestos has been discovered."

Jenna calmly appeared from behind the organ.

"Hello my love. I've been keeping the Mayor busy by teaching him to play a few notes on the organ. He found it really interesting!"

The man in question suddenly appeared. "Asbestos you say, Vicar? Don't worry about that. I'll see that it gets sorted out pronto. We had the same problem in the town hall. Nasty stuff is asbestos. As a Christian, it's my duty to ensure that the good folk of this lovely church have a safe building. So don't worry about the cost, I'll glad pay for any repairs and removal."

Reverend Morris looked totally stunned. "Oh...my good heavens, t-thank you so much, sir!"

"Oh and do please go ahead and hold your street party...in the street! I'll ensure the numpties at the council don't cause any bother. Well, I really must get going...so much to do, so little time. I'll stop by on Sunday and join the celebrations! Nice to meet you both! Thanks for...showing me round Mrs...er, Jenna! Good day!" He shook both their hands and hurried out.

"What an extraordinary kind gesture!" The vicar smiled. "All out problems are solved, just like that. I was wrong about the Mayor. It seems he is a genuine man after all."

"Just goes to show, you can't judge someone on hearsay," Jenna replied. "Oh look, his wig fell off!" She picked up the toupée off the floor. "Never mind, he looks better without it, don't you think?

"As a fellow balding man, I agree!" Reverend Morris said, slipping his arm round his wife and strolling down the aisle. "However, we must discreetly return it to him."

The Coronation celebrations at St. Michael's church were a massive success, and everyone had a fantastic day as the entire town came together. The notoriously unreliable British weather behaved itself for once, and provided warm, sunny conditions.

"I do love the pomp and splendour," Gordon said as he wolfed down a plateful of sausage rolls.

"Not to mention the food," Jenna said, pinching his arse when no-one was looking.

"Have to keep my strength up with you around, the organist replied. "Are we...you know, having organ practice this Thursday?"

"Of course we are," she replied, with a wink. Noticing the Mayor arriving, she gave a little smile.

"I'm glad he stopped wearing that wig! I wonder if he washed his undies?"