"You just put your lips together and....blow."
********************
She had the bedroom eyes, smoldering sexuality, and the husky, 1-900-number voice of a young Lauren Bacall. Her chest, however, was more reminiscent of Jayne Mansfield's. (Or as Dick Cavett once so famously introduced her onto his show..."Ladies and gentlemen, here they are...Jayne Mansfield.")
She was also the executive assistant to my boss who had hired me into the company just three weeks ago, and she conducted herself with the haughty air of a woman who was far above the mere masses. The other women in the office generally loathed her while envying her position in the company and her magnificent body, while to the men, she was just an unattainable pipe dream, an instant professional pink-slip to anyone who dared even flirt with her. So, they ogled from a safe distance. Oh so close, yet oh so far.
Janet Smith was her name, approaching her forty-sixth birthday. I had just turned thirty-four and, rather naively, hadn't yet sampled a woman that much older than myself, preferring to still chase after the younger chicks who, as I realized only after Janet turned me into a poster boy for Warren Zevon's song, 'Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me', didn't have a clue when it came to the timeless art of fellatio.
You know the song lyrics. C'mon, hum along with me. "She really worked me over good, she was a credit to her gender. She put me through some changes, boy, sort of like a Waring Blender."
I was invited out to join in a Friday Happy Hour with my new colleagues to celebrate the departure of one of the college interns, Anna Cousins, who was returning back to Drexel for her last semester. Anna and I had discreetly chosen to celebrate in our own way, as the tall blonde coed had drunkenly accepted my invitation to come back to my townhouse for a personal exit interview.
I was making a trip to the restroom before meeting Anna in the parking lot for our rendezvous. I realized that I was taking quite a risk as a newbie dipping his pen into the company ink, but what the hell, I figured, an exception could be made for a departing intern. It's funny how we men can always rationalize our transgressions and risk our careers when a twenty-two-year-old blonde wants to fuck, isn't it?
And, so, imagine my surprise when none other than Janet Smith met me in the remote corridor, so narrow that her tits were essentially pressing into my own chest. I looked around nervously, but there was nary a soul to either observe or rescue me. Until that very moment, I hadn't even been aware that she was in the bar. Not that it really mattered, because she hadn't yet spoken a word to me during my short tenure with the company, not even so much as a 'hello'.
"Um, hi, Janet," I stammered, glancing around as much in anxiety as it was in a conscious effort not to stare at her heaving chest. "Uh, gee, I hadn't seen you, when did you get here?" Small talk was never really my thing. Lucky for me, Janet wasn't interested in superfluous banter.
She raised the glass she was holding and bit on the thin straw with her thin, pink lips. "I want to suck your cock," she breathed in that impossibly seductive rasp.
Talk about memorable opening lines.
I had no witty repartee to respond to that, although in hindsight, the word, "OK", might have sufficed just fine. Instead, I just gazed at Janet, my mind trying to absorb what she had just said. Just then, another patron in need of relief stumbled past us in the hallway, causing Janet's tits to mash even harder against my own chest. Her face was so close to mine now that I could feel the warm, rum-flavored breath coming from her mouth.
"I want to suck your cock," she repeated, in a level, matter-of-fact tone, as if she was asking me to turn in my expense reports. It wasn't as though I had missed what she had said the first time. I tend to pay attention to such utterances. I must admit, though, that my reply was less than eloquent.
"You do, huh?" I was trying to buy some time, but my cock had already caught on and was with the program. It hardened beneath my zipper as she felt the involuntary response and imperceptibly eased her pelvis into mine.
"Yes, I do. I want to suck your cock."
"Here?"
"No."
"Um, where, then?"
"In your car, on the way to my place. Anywhere. And then I want to suck it again. Then again."
"You do, huh?" Hadn't I asked that already?
Her tits felt so soft against my shirt. "Yep. And then again. All night long. As much as you want me to. I'll suck your cock until you're bone dry." She licked her lips. "Until you're out of cum, and it's all in my stomach." She then offered Plan B as an option. "Or all over my tits, your choice." That was polite of her, I thought.
Just then, with less than impeccable timing, I saw Anna Cousins' pony-tailed head peering around the hallway corner. Her look was one of astonishment mixed with disgust. But her appearance gave me a convenient escape, and I made the split-second decision to extract myself from the hungry cougar who had momentarily treed me with her surprise attack.
"That's quite an intriguing proposal, Janet, but I really have to go now. Can we discuss it further come Monday?"
Anna made no pretense of camouflaging our joint departure from the bar, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed own assistant, Jennie, give me a congratulatory 'thumbs-up' as Anna snuggled up against me as went exited. Anna was high on tequila and God-knows-what other concoctions as she slobbered a wet kiss on me when we reached my vehicle.
"I can't believe that old lady. Did she want to fuck you? It sure looked that way."
I decided discretion was the better part of valor as I hurriedly ushered Anna's lithe body into the passenger seat. "Actually, she didn't say anything about fucking. She just wanted to give me a blowjob."
Anna looked at me wide-eyed initially, but then decided she was up for the challenge, the oral gauntlet having been laid down from a woman twice Anna's age. "What does that old hag know about blowjobs?" Anna leaned over in her seat, unbuckled her seat belt, and buried her head into my lap.
One minute later, she passed out into a coma on my lap, and I had to carry her young, lean body up the steps to my condo as she snored and drooled all the way.
In Anna's defense, though, when she did wake up seven or so hours later, we did fuck our way into her next semester, punctuating the completion of her internship with the company with a vigorous banging session. Or three. I abbreviated her clumsy repeated attempts at a hummer by flipping her over onto her stomach each time and fucking her senseless, which wasn't as hard as it sounds. She had a head start.
But, as I patted Anna's tight little ass as I dropped her back home on Saturday morning, never to be seen again, my thoughts were with Janet. Monday at the office promised to be most interesting.
And it was.