Okay, pop question: Is it alright to have sex with the wife of your friend?
I guess not.
But I did. And that wasn't the worst of it. I liked it, did it more than once, and was involved in a bit of revenge as well.
Rick, you see, had a wondering eye, and his wife Jamie caught him. Not once, not twice, but three times. After the second time she laid down the law: do it again and you will regret it.
Jamie is a nice looking mom of 32, the kind of girl who isn't a knockout but is very pretty in her own way. She's always the hit of guys' poker night, serving up beers and giving as much as taking in the barb department. She was a bit of a trophy wife in that she was 16 years younger than her husband.
Rick ran a real estate business in town, and had been a friend for 20 years. Jamie was his second wife, and although he seemed to have it all with her she was still a bit of a cad. On golf trips he was always hitting on a waitress or woman in a bar. But I sort of thought it was harmless one night stands and that when "home" he was a good boy.
Apparently, he wasn't.
We --- that is, Mike, Steve and I ---- arrived for our normal Wednesday night poker game about a month ago at Rick and Jamie's lovely colonial situated on a quarter mile setback only to find our fourth not at home. That was unusual, because Rick didn't miss our card games or our Saturday round of golf at the club.
"He got called out on a big sale he's been working on, said he would be a couple hours," said Jamie when we arrived.
The girl looked distraught. Something was clearly bothering her. She fed us chips and salsa and drew some beers. It was quite uncomfortable and we spoke about leaving but she would have none of it.
We played a few hands of friendly draw poker, Jamie sitting in. When the phone rang she jumped and mumbled a few muffled words. She returned to the table in tears.
"Are you okay?" asked Mike.
Jamie glared at him. "Do I look okay?"
We admitted she didn't, and asked if there was something we could do.
"It's Rick, he's fucking his secretary," blurted the pretty woman. "The bastard is fucking that slut and didn't think I'd find out. I bet he doesn't have a business meeting tonight, I bet he's banging that girl like a drum."
Uncomfortable wasn't the word. The girl began crying her eyes out as three wide-eyed guys shuffled and looked at the floor.
Out of nowhere Jamie told her story.
"I told him the last time he fucked around on me that I'd get his ass, I told him and he swore he wouldn't wander again. That last bimbo cost us $50,000, because she made all kinds of threats. It was embarrassing. I would have left him but I don't have the will....he has a pre-nup that says if we aren't married for at least 10 years I get bupkiss, nothing except my clothes and my car.
"It's like I am a whore. He gives me money for the house, expects me to fuck him whenever he wants it, then goes and puts his dick into anything he wants. He has no consequences to his actions. I can live with it, I mean, there are the kids and all, but this time he went over the edge.
"I told him the last time I caught him with his dick out I'd cut it off, but that doesn't phase him. I mean, I'm no Bobbitt or anything. But I am pissed."
It was no longer uncomfortable to be in the room. It was downright painful.
"I caught him in the act two weeks ago. Showed up at the office after shopping and things were all locked up. But his car and one other were in the parking lot. I knew it was her, the bitch.
"Letting myself in, I wandered around on the first floor before getting the nerve to go upstairs. Hell, the door to his office was partially open. I heard them talking. Kelly, that's her name, was telling him something how she loved his cock. She was saying that between blowing him amd fucking him right there on her knees in the office.
"Listening for a while I knew the drill. She was sucking him then things got quiet. I peeked in and things had changed. She was bent over his desk, skirt up, and he was fucking her from behind. She's a dog and was taking it like a bitch in heat. That sent me over the edge. I knew what I had to do."
Oh my, I wondered what was coming next. On one hand I was afraid to find out, on the other I couldn't help listening. It was like being at a street corner knowing there was going to be a crash. We waited for the rest of the story.
"I went down to the women's room and found a water pail in the closet," said the girl, a smile slowly creeping onto her face. "I filled it with cold water. Hey, they were dogs humping, right? Then I went back to the office. I peeked in, but she wasn't over the desk any more. Now she was on it. Legs high in the air, and he was banging her.
"It happened in a matter of seconds. I went in, threw the water on them, cursed them out and left in a hurry. I think I scared the shit out of them. Somehow along the way she had taken off her skirt and I took that and her blouse and threw them in a trash can. Leaving the building, I let the air out of one of her tires for good measure.
"They were hilarious coming out of the building," said the scorned woman. "She was wearing his tee shirt and a long coat they just have found. It was open in the front, and I could see she was in just her panties and the tee. When they saw the flat tire they were pissed and looked around, but I was in a grove of trees and they couldn't see me. They drove off in his car and I have wondered since if I ruined the moment. Think so...."
The tears had stopped. She said she was over it, he's a bastard, there wasn't anything she could do about it, and that he had called tonight with a lame brained story that only added up to another fuck session.
"He's going to pay, he's going to pay."
# # # #
Revenge is such a transient trait. Once I was ripped off by a boss but was able to, over time, make the wrong a right. Okay, stealing some stationary and office supplies, finding the secret way of getting an extra drink from the office machine and small time larceny like that might not sound like revenge, but it was clearly vindictive. And over time I got back more value than I lost.
Jamie's revenge was more to the core and downright dastardly. After she told her story she went into the kitchen for more brewskys, but in retrospect she was getting the gumption for her next endeavor. The fact that she was still living under one roof with her husband said a lot. Clearly she didn't want to leave him, although by everyone's estimate she should have.
We made small talk after she left the room. Everything from "she's an angel" to "he's a retard." I guess it depends on how you look at it, but from any angle he was caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
Some would have divorced the bastard, taking him to the cleaners, even if those cleaners had a pre-nuptial attached. I guess leaving with your pride would have been the way to go for some. Others ignore the transgressions and are happy with what parts you did have. Jamie had other ideas.
When she returned to the room, she asked a question: "Have you guys cheated on your wives?"
Okay, in unison we emphatically said "No!"
An evil smile came to her face. "Mike, remember that bar in Myrtle Beach? The blonde? You didn't get back to the condo until 5 a.m."
Mike stuttered something like he was guilty, which he was. Apparently Rick blabbed on his friend to his wife, probably to keep her from Bobbiting him or something because of an earlier dalliance. Over the next few minutes both Steve and I were asked about our secret rendezvous' over the years. Rick had a big fucking mouth.
"It's okay, guys, I don't know anything, and you know what, I don't care," said Jamie, a smile crossing her lips. "What you do, or don't do, is your business."
The woman sat with us in uncomfortable silence. The quiet became deafening, as we all shuffled around and starred at the floor.
Suddenly she acted like a sergeant major in command of an operation. She strode out of the room into the kitchen. At the doorway she ordered us into the room with the strong counsel to leave our cell phones behind.
I have to admit we each looked at each other, but like lemmings we left our phones on the table and walked toward her voice. Behind the swinging kitchen doors she stood, her top off. He beautiful breasts were displayed for us and I immediately thought of the revenge. She was going to strip for us.