James & Mrs. Evans

James & Mrs. Evans 01

"Hello??? Earth to James! Hello?"

"Oh, sorry Mrs. Evans, I mean my mind just wandered off, that's all."

"(Men!) So, what did you need from me this morning then?"

"(Nipples!) Um, Mrs. Evans, Danny texted me from his dorm room and um, I mean, he thinks that he left a box behind and he asked me if I could find it for him."

"(His porn?) Oh, um, alright James, you can look around in his old bedroom, but don't think poorly of me if the damn room is a mess. I haven't picked up a Hazmat suit yet to clean things up, so. Anyways, were you going to make a trip to CC to visit with Danny then?"

"(They shake?) Oh yeah, his dorm roomie is going home for the weekend, so there will be room for me to crash and there is a building party this weekend, so."

"(Boing? Really?) Ah, LOL, I think there are building parties every weekend, but I'm glad that you're going to spend the weekend with my little baby boy, not that you need to tell him that I still think of him as my adorable baby boy, right James?"

"(OMG, stop throbbing!) Well, everyone knows that's a "mom" thing, but deep down, LOL, we love it and we only pretend to be embarrassed by it and all, so."

"(Whoa, it throbbed?) Well, then you know that it's also a "mom" thing to expect a full report next week about how he's doing and all James, in confidence, of course. I mean, I'm not asking you to check out his underwear drawer, but at least look around for a stack of laundry coins. Oh, and here, take him this baggie of laundry coins too."

[Jingle, clink, jingle.]

"(Do I still have it?) Anyways James, go have a look for his porn, I mean, his box and I'll just be in the kitchen rinsing off a few dishes then, alright."

I suppose I never thought about it before, but to the best of my memory knowledge, that was the first time I walked with a raging hard on, not that it's really something to think about, but it makes walking different! Also, LOL, I had never seen such a pristine collection of DVD jackets! I mean, a weird vision of Danny wiping down each DVD jacket with a cloth just after he wiped his own jacket flashed through my mind and then, ewe, I shook my head like crazy to remove that vision from my head!

And then I shook my head in awe and disbelief as I entered the kitchen and came face to face, LOL, or should I say face to backside with Mrs. Evans was slightly leaning over the kitchen sink rinsing off a plate or a cup or whatever.

I mean, I'm not an expert, but um, she changed clothes, I think. Or removed her exercise t-shirt. Or I'm a guy and all I knew was that her shoulders were now bare for me.

"Did you find everything alright, James, mm-mmm?"

"Um, yes, Mrs. Evans, the box was right where Danny said it would be and LOL, it's the cleanest thing in his old bedroom, but I ran it out to trunk for, um, for safe keeping, so."

"Oh, so you ran out to your car, hid his box of porn DVDs under a blanket in your trunk and then came back inside to what, um, split my buns with your boner, James as I rinse off a few things, mm-mmm?"

"I mean, Mrs. Evans, I must have slipped on the kitchen floor and then slipped right into you from this position or something, I mean, oops, right?"

"Well, it feels like you know how to "oops" pretty good, young man, but I'm not complaining, so."

[Hump, rub, split, rub, push, up, down, up, down, oh, oh, hump, ha, ha, ha, ha, um, um, um.]

"Alright James, I think that's enough towel drying for today, alright?"

[Speed it up, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ow, ow, ow, hump, hump, saw, saw, saw, saw.]

I didn't have a ton of sexual experience, but I guess I knew enough that the moment was over when just as I hitting a stride between her buns, Mrs. Evans quickly spun around and well, the moment changed, right? I mean, she spun around so quickly because of how much shock she was in from what was just happening in her kitchen, that I inadvertently thrust against into her a front a few times, but it was like a train, right? LOL, it takes things a moment to slow down, right?

Also, viva women's exercise clothing.

"Oh, oh my, James, that was a little more than I was thinking, right?"

"I mean, Mrs. Evans, am I in trouble with you now?"

"No, no, James, I sort of, well, I mean, I had to end up rinsing off a few clean plates waiting for you to come back inside and catch me wiggling my ass at you, so, so, whew, James, I mean, viva dirty dishes and all, so."

So, that's where my sexual inexperience kicked into high gear, but not in the best way. I mean, there I was in the kitchen with Mrs. Evans and her eyes were wide and she may have been panting just a little and somehow, we managed to get closer to each as she leaned back against the sink counter and I had no idea what to do next, right? I mean, my hard dick knew what to do with the way it was throbbing against her bare belly area, but I didn't know what the next move was. I mean, my head said "run", but my other head said "ahh, not just yet", so I just stood there and prayed that Mrs. Evans knew what to do next.

"Well, whew, um, oh, listen James, normally I wouldn't let one of my boyfriends walk out of my house with such a man problem, but, um, but, ooh, um, oh, ooh, oh, I mean, I should finish up with the dishes and all, so."

Yeah, no, I still had no idea what to do next, so I just held my position and studied her, um, sports bra? Or morning bra? Or viva stretchy tank tops.

"James, I assume it goes without mentioning that this little encounter of ours never gets mentioned to anyone, right James?"

"Oh, Mrs. Evans, this is basically my best encounter ever with a real woman, but I promise, I will never say with who, so."

"Men! Why do men always need to boast about things all the time, huh? And why do men always just keep throbbing? My belly isn't my honeypot, so."

"Honey? I like honey in the mornings, Mrs. Evans. I mean, do all those "boyfriends" that you just mentioned leave with their share of honey, honey?"

I mean, that was almost a "line", right folks?

"Well, I should have said "if" I had a boyfriend that I wouldn't let him walk out of the house with such huge man issue, so. I mean, since my divorce and all, LOL, my boyfriends are no more than my daily blogs, so."

"Well, is there where I start admitting that I don't know what to do next then, Mrs. Evans?"

"Oh, it's a tie then, James because my mind is telling me to push you out of the back door, yet my, um, my lady parts might be saying something different, so."

Well, my man part was saying the same damn thing! Only without the walking out of the back door thing.

"OK! I mean, enough already, right James?"

Well, I thought I could push the waistband of her yoga pants down just a little further, but who was I to argue about when things were enough or not, right?

"Geez, I mean, oh James, enough is enough, I mean, ooh, ooh, so you know about neck nibbling stuff already then?"

"And I think this is where you say something like "men and their need to leave a nut behind" then, right Mrs. Evans?"

"Ooh, I mean, oh, oh, watch for leaving a mark, James, but actually, James, I like how men always leave a mess behind, um, it's kind of a requirement for the job and all, so, so, James, James, I mean, those are my nipples, James, ooh, oh, men, men, men and their need to suckle all the time, hm, hm, hm."

Well, I only said that I didn't have a lot of experience, but I knew darn well that nipples fit into my mouth and all, but I did learn that those stretchy tank top things almost pop them out by themselves. I mean, I reached in, made a little hand flip move and they just popped out. So, viva stretchy tank tops!

"OK, OK, hmm, OK, James, um, I get that your balls aren't going to let things just stop, but James, James, I'm your friend's mother and all, so James, James, ooh, um, wait, what?"

Well, I'm sorry, but before she said "I'm your friend's mother", I was ready to get after it (as soon as she showed me how to get after it), but as soon as those words slipped out, well, that was a mood killer, for sure.

"Well, I didn't say that on purpose, James, but maybe it's for the best anyways, but listen (mwah), that was still sexy and torrid, right? I mean, I'm updating my blog later today with ten minutes of hot and heavy sauce, so."

Well, non viva to just how quickly they pop right back into that stretchy tank top, right? Not that it wasn't a huge turn-on to watch her man handle them back in place, right? I mean, wow, a little to the left, a little towards the center, a couple of wiggles and shakes, a quick visual check and one last sideways wiggle to settle the girls into their proper place and ahh, women! Or ahh, boobs!

"And I really liked the way you, um, hump rubbed me from behind, James. I mean, that was a first for me and all, so. I mean, someone should give that move a name or something."

"Well, I mean, that was a first for me and all too, Mrs. Evans, but you know, practice makes perfect, right?"

[Ping.]

I mean, seriously? Danny texted me just as I was trying to practice my moves? LOL, like I had a move!

"It's a sign, James, so move your hips a little less and move your feet a little more then and who knows what the future has in store for us, so???"

"Well, fine, but just as you would never let a boyfriend leave the house sexually charged, I mean, I would hope my girlfriend would never let me leave the house after she hit the "brew" button and all, so?"

"Well, you are kind of saying the same thing there, James, but I get it. Unfortunately, you can't get it today and all, so?"

"Well, I mean, I mean, I might have to return Danny's ATV helmet next week then because he doesn't need it at college and it just sits in my garage and all, so."

"Oh, well, I'll be sure to watch the things I say then so we never repeat the deflation thing again, but just make sure the neighbors see you carrying a helmet and all, so. Oops, I mean the ATV helmet, I mean, this helmet seems to like things personal and private with me and all, so."

So, I mean, on one hand a woman says enough is enough, but her other hand, she points out which ATV helmet she likes better then? I mean, that's not a tie, right? Also, holy new stuff snap! Hand jobs from someone else's hands are the best!

"Oh, um, James, just blow on the kitchen floor from my hand action, James, I mean, maybe someday I'll catch that mess for you with my lips, but um, OMG, OMG, whoa, you really do start to boil and throb just before, don't you, young man?"

Well, it was that "someone else's hand" thing and all, so. It's quite amazing.

"Wow, honestly, James, whew, look at me, um, I didn't plan to aim it my body, but holy smokes, Tiger, that's a major mess on me now! It's also another first for me and boy o boy, is my afternoon blog going to get a lot steamier now!"

Oh, so, um, so some women just scoop it up and take a taste then?

"Oh, relax with the big eyes, James! It's an acquired taste and well, I've sucked a few cocks in my day, so. Besides, I mean, the breakfast of champions, right? Hmmm, yummy."

I don't know, it just felt like I was supposed to say something sensual or sexy or something, right? I mean, I wasn't leaving the house all excited, so, so, you say something nice, right?

"Mrs. Evans, that was the best hand job I've ever had and um, um, Mrs. Evans, can I have a pair of your undies for later?"

"Oh, oh my, wow, well, my blog is going to be x rated then."

I mean, I had never asked a girl or a woman anything like that before, but I was thinking that Mrs. Evans would grab something from her dresser, kiss me on the cheek and send me on my way, right? Wrong!

I mean, she just pushed her stretchy yoga pants down right in front of me and as casually as could be, pushed her undies down her legs and well, LOL, put them on her finger and twirled them at me!

"None of this ever happened, young man! And don't ever tell me about what you do with my undies."

"Um, um, Mrs. Evans, um, um, you're, you're shaved and OMG, Mrs. Evans, those hips of yours are amazing! Also, Clint, can I be Clint in your blog? I mean, a Clint would be someone who could really bring it, right, Mrs. Evans?"

"Well, I'm Charlotte in my blog, so Charlotte could sneak around with a Clint, I suppose. OMG, men! Men and their last few drops! Not that everything isn't already a mess in here."

Hey, that's a biology thing, right? I mean, even if we "men" flex to force them out, I mean, there are always those last few dribbles, so.

"That was not a blow job, James! That was just a little cleaning up of things, so."

"So, I have more to look to then, right Mrs. Evans?"

"OMG, men and their constant need for things to look forward to! (Mwah), but maybe, I mean, well, just bring his ATV helmet back next week and all."

Ah-hah! There was the secret! The key! My friend Danny will be referred to as "him", "he" or as "his" when appropriate to keep from deflating the balloon!

End James & Mrs. Evans 01