"Fucking useless men," I said.
"Yes they can be."
"I have had it up to here with them," I replied touching the top of my blonde hair.
"Yes it did sound like that."
"You obviously heard us in the garden."
"It was rather difficult to avoid Chris."
"Yes, I am sorry."
"Don't be silly."
"Anyway it's kind of you to invite me round."
"Not at all that's what neighbours are for love."
That was almost a year ago now. It was the day I kicked my husband out after finding he'd been unfaithful to me yet again. In that time, as I waited for my divorce to come through I only had sex with one person. Just one person in all that lonely period. And then only twice with them. That night and once again a week or so later. But that sex was wonderful. It was different to any I'd had before. It was invigorating, exciting and so satisfying and it was with the person who had heard me arguing with my husband and who had invited me round. Yes, the only person I had sex with was my neighbour Phillipa, a woman some ten or so years older than me.
*
But after her I stopped. It somehow didn't seem proper. I did not have the inclination. I did not have the will to leave my twelve-year old daughter to go on dates. Also, I did not feel the need to 'have a drink' with husbands of friends who once I was separated found that they had fancied me for years or that their wives really didn't understand them. I had not realised how popular I had been all these years I'd been with my husband. Silly girl!
At thirty-nine there doesn't seem to be that many eligible single men around. After the hurt I had been through there was no way I could do that to another woman hence, married ones were out. So, a combination of being emotional and very morose, disillusionment with men, a general lack of availability and trying to bring some semblance of order to my shattered life all signalled one thing. I became almost a recluse in my home in Manor Road, Chigwell, where I remained barricaded up against any marauding males with my daughter, Emily, for almost a year.
I spent that year working hard on the divorce that, thankfully, in the end turned out to be reasonably amicable. Both he and I wanted it to be as easy on Emily as it could be and we went out of our way to avoid any unnecessary acrimony. Fortunately money was not really too much of a problem for I had helped him build up his small company into a much larger one and he was able to buy out my shareholding. He was also generous, but then he always was and with more than money. I found out as my lawyer delved into his past that he was a serial adulterer. As it turned out, he had been unfaithful to me throughout the marriage. The bastard, but then he is a man!
*
Although I had nothing to do with men and after Phillipa I had no sex at all, it was, looking back, an interesting time. I started playing golf and tennis again. I got a new car and I got a job. Calling on old contacts, I started writing copy on a freelance basis. Mainly, as it turned, out for recruitment ads but also some technical stuff, a little scriptwriting and a few speeches for a big company whose marketing director I had known for some time. Quite badly, it seemed, he wanted to get into my knickers so we had numerous meetings about the speeches he had to give as he briefed me in person. I took his briefs but never gave him my knickers, after all 'never fuck a client' is an old ad industry dictate and, in any case, he was married.
I also found several new things on the Internet; erotic story sites, porn and chat rooms. And boy did I need them. Having had an active and varied sex life during my marriage and rarely going more than a couple or three days without it, I needed a different form of relief - masturbation. During my marriage, other than when we had phone sex when he was away or when I masturbated as he watched, I had pretty much given it up. Having made my discoveries a month or so after my fling with Phillipa, I made great use of them during the ensuing months; they became my jerk off aids!
"Have you ever cybered?" was the question that started it off.
At the time, I did not even know what it meant.
"What do you mean?" I typed back.
"Have sex on here?"
"Fuck off," I typed putting him on ignore.
However, most of the chats I had gradually turned to sex as I suspect most chats for most people do. Not necessarily heavy aspects of it or too deep, but general questions and answers. I didn't mind that as it aroused me a little thus, making relieving myself easier when I logged off. I had come to terms now, with my real reasons for spending many hours in chat rooms, I was lonely, had too much time on my hands and needed something else to do with them! In other words it helped me to masturbate.
I was really surprised how quickly I got to know people in the rooms. Levels of familiarity, quickly turned to a sort of friendship that rapidly became quite intimate. I found topics that would be unthinkable to talk about in reality were relatively openly discussed. Was it me, I often asked myself? So I put that question to my chat friend Mark.
"No," he typed back. "I find it with most people, well the intelligent ones at least."
We discussed that at some length and reached the conclusion that the anonymity of the web helped us lose our inhibitions.
"And that means Chrissy, I can ask your breast size and what types of panty you prefer. Lol" He typed.
I could hardly believe that I typed.
"35 C and a thong or boy shorts."
At his request I also told him that I was 5' 6" tall, weighed 137 pounds, had blonde hair that I wore long down to my shoulders. I guess that was the start of my virtual sexual relationship with him. The next couple of times we chatted we went further and further. We even exchanged photos, with me cropping mine so that he could see only part of my face.
"What is your most sexually attractive feature?" he asked a few sessions later.
I told him that it was my bum.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because at nearly forty it is still pert and firm."
I guess I was on dodgy ground and maybe I was setting myself up for what came next.
"I really am a bum man Chris."
"Are you?"
"Yes, I adore stroking them, squeezing them and kissing them."
I suppose if I was not up for it, I should have stopped there and changed the subject as I had several times with him in the past few weeks. Instead I said.
