The internet has been a mixed bag for humanity, she thought to herself. Her eyes were closed, as she lay out in the warm sun. One the one hand, it's been awful. The depraved and hateful unleashed behind the guise of anonymity. On the other hand, a place to fulfill desires and make connections that never would happen otherwise, safely and without fear of judgement or condemnation.
She was thinking of her upbringing which made women ashamed of their sexuality, something to be controlled by men. Women had to remain chaste until marriage and even then, still owned by her husband. While she left the faith of her upbringing and married a more progressive man, she remained unfulfilled sexually and at times spiritually in her long marriage. She finally left and made the decision to be free both literally and figuratively. Free from the constructs of her conditioned upbringing, free from society's attempt to shame women who embrace their sexuality fully.
She had joined a couple of sex chat sites. The first one was downright frightening. She left after only a day, the energy emanating from the site was one of toxic masculinity and not at all conducive to the kind of exploring she hoped to engage in.
On the second site, she found kindred spirits of all genders. It took a few weeks to become acclimated and more than a few online encounters with some, let's say 'problematic' men to find a place where she can be herself and be as explicit as she wanted to be sexually.
She discovered the art of role playing. It is an art, she realized, because it was almost comical when she encountered people who were not good at it. The back and forth forced and stilted. It was underwhelming and unsatisfying.
When she found the very few she connected with, those who knew how to engage in the art of give and take and building up to the moment of release, she was in her element and in ecstasy. One such encounter led her here, laying poolside at an Italian villa they rented for their holiday. He was a much younger man, who didn't at all mind her age. In fact, it was never an issue unless she, in her insecurity, brought it up. He would never say anything except that he liked her inside and out, just as she was.
Their role play was fun, hot, sweet and tender (and maybe included a paddling every now and again). They also spent time simply chatting and getting to know each other. He was a tree surgeon and she, an educator and faith leader. Their connection grew to a friendship, one they agreed would include sexual benefits.
She looked over to watch him as he napped on the lounge chair. They were both naked and laying in the sun by the side of the pool that came with the villa. Benefits indeed, she thought. They had gotten there the previous day and they were a bit shy with each other at first. Online sex is one thing, but meeting someone you've had a crush on for a year is something entirely different.
They had dinner and talked and laughed. They shared a wicked sense of humor and it was fun spending time enjoying each other's company.
They were both tired from traveling and realized that they wanted to wait to engage in sex until they were well rested. There was no reason to rush, they would be together for a while. They did share the same bed and before falling asleep, they kissed deeply and passionately, until they fell asleep spooning.
The next morning, she woke before he did and made them both breakfast. They decided to spend the morning lounging naked by the side of the pool. Unspoken was the anticipation of when they would finally have sex.
Her body was tingling as she looked over at her sweet Matt, the tree surgeon, who stirred her and made her feel desired and her body tingle.
