It Was Then That I Realized

Where to begin? I guess to properly understand any enlightenment, you have to start at the beginning and understand the darkness before it. My wife and I are two very sexual people. Hell, when we were planning our wedding we scored best on the “sexual” elements of the somewhat ridiculous Elements of Marriage survey than anything else. That was about five years ago, a lot has changed since. In the interim we have had three boys, I work multiple jobs, and she is returning to school among all those other elements of two people sharing a life together – money, family, friends, personal goals and desires, hell, just life. Stress was a given. All in all we would handle it well. But that sex life that was once so great, had fallen victim to the stresses, frustrations, disappointments, concerns, and even to a degree jealousies that have developed since. You see, we opened our marriage last year and had a few experiences. Our sex life, mutual trust, consideration, respect, and devotion had been so solid that we were willing to try some new interests. One of which blew up in our faces. Nothing permanent or violent, but between the issues around a few specific events, it has affected us nonetheless. In fact, we haven’t had sex in the almost seven months since then. Then, one night, that all changed …..

It had been another one of those days. I just wanted to let out a scream and knew that home was going to be somewhat challenging. I knew that Terri had been somewhat stressed out this week from school requirements and the boys were particularly irritable since they were all sick. It was one of those drive’s home where you just knew it was going to be a bad situation. I threw a CD in to motivate me a little better and decided I would vent now and make the best of it. Somewhere between “Break Stuff” and “Headstrong” I realized my life was not so bad. Frustrating at times, aggravating, and extremely pent up lately, but not unmanageable or unrewarding. In fact, I was getting somewhat numb to the idea of our sexual misalignment as was resolving to “get myself a girlfriend” as Terri had suggested. Feeling somewhat disappointed in our on-going situation, I arrived home better tempered and ready for hell to be unleashed.

Amazingly, it wasn’t bad. Terri had the boys at the table already and they hadn’t napped today. So despite their ill manner, an early bed-time was to be looked forward to with some peace. Hell, even Terri was in a good mood and kissed me and welcomed me home. Had a Jack and Coke ready for me and something simple for dinner as well. This is one of those moments I use to think to myself that an evening of extremely satisfying and tension relieving sex might lay ahead. Then I stopped myself realizing it was unlikely. It was very unlikely. Terri had still made it very clear she wasn’t ready for it just this morning. Just the same, I was happy for the good mood and the thoughtfulness of dinner and the drink. I remember thinking I must have tipped her off somehow on what kind of day I had when we spoke earlier.

From there the night was somewhat uneventful. We tried to eat a relaxed dinner – do you have three kids? We talked about the day’s events. We shared the moron stories in my day and hers, which is always good for a laugh. We caught each other up on the recent issues with her family and mine. Just talked. We played with the boys a bit and eventually got them bathed and ready for bed. All the while we teased and joked a little bit between us. Nothing overly obvious, but it was nice since we hadn’t really done much in the way of flirting in the previous months. I really missed it and knowing she wanted me. I took it at face value and left it alone.

Once the boys were in bed we retired to the couch to watch a movie. We would change in to a t-shirt and pajama pants each and relax while we rubbed each other’s feet. She had a glass of wine, myself with another Jack and Coke, we settled in to see what was on. We got in to some corny movie on cable and laughed a bit. Felt uncomfortable during a risqué scene. But, I had to comment, “I so miss kissing you like that” I added. And with that, I usually got a roll of the eyes. But this time, she moved my foot against her breast and seemingly, intentionally, rubbed it against her. She never looked at me, and I didn’t say a word. Nothing seemed to happen from there for a while afterwards.

But, you know how Hollywood is it wasn’t long before another scene that was leading to sex was provided. This time, I didn’t say anything. Didn’t look at her. Didn’t want to. The tension had been so much at times in the recent months neither of us knew what to say. And then. Almost as if we were transferred back to a time we were casual and fun with sex, she said to me “Do you know I have wanted you? Do you

know

it?”

I could only respond “no” and turn away from her, or the scene on the television.

I had felt like I was shunned for months. I had felt like my warmth and companionship was important, but that my touch and desire was un-welcomed. To this day I am looking for my fairy godmother, spirit, magical star, or heavenly deity that smiled on me to thank for what happened next. Without provocation or spoken word, she leaned over and kissed me. And I mean kissed me. Not one of the “you are important to me and I love you” peck of assurance type kisses. Not an “I am sorry you are hurting” friendly kiss of support. This was passion, pure and longingly missed. This was “I want you and have missed you too” all wrapped in to one not so simple pressing of her lips to mine. I had missed that so much it felt like my world was spinning to feel it again. I felt wanted again. And not by someone who was an opportunity for sex and physical pleasure. But, by my wife, the one woman I wanted for my lifetime. The one kiss seemed to last for minutes, though I know it was only seconds. I remember feeling it went on and on and yet when it abruptly ended, I wanted it more. I felt like I was in high school again and the pure lust between my legs began to take over when my head so rudely interrupted. “This doesn’t mean she wants you”, I said to myself. It is a step, it is just a step toward what you want and so desperately hope she wants too.

“Don’t fuck it up”.

“You won’t” she replied.

My god I had said that aloud. I thought for a moment and realized, “I won’t?”

“No” she emphasized. “I have noticed your working out lately and losing weight like I have been. I have heard your commenting on how good I look and I realized” she continued while I resisted just jumping across the couch and engulfing her in my arms. “I realized that we make mistakes. That we both have. An that we are both responsible people who have committed this lifetime to each other.”

I waited patiently as possible for her to tell me where this might, or for the love of god, could, go.

“I miss you and want you ….. I want you now.”

Before she could finish explaining her feelings to me I could resist no more. I seemingly leaped across the couch to her lips again and kissed her with such passion and desire from what had been building for so long that I think I took both of our breath away. And then I stopped. I felt I was probably going too fast too soon. We had been there before a few months earlier and I was actually proud of myself for the thinking of it and I just stopped. For the moment I was scared. Petrified. I thought the situation was going to explode and that we would be talking divorce again in a few hours or days because of it.

And then she reminded me why I love her so. That we are almost always on the same page and simply said, “I know. I want to try too.”

It was then that I realized we were never going to be divorced. And that we were never going to let anything come between us and what we meant to each other again. And frankly, with what I am sure was a sheepish yet devilish grin, I could feel I was going to get laid again!

My god I had to have been a sight. We both must have been actually. Inside I was ripping her clothes off and taking her like she had never had it before. On the out side I was still cautious of it all going wrong.

I reached over to her and slid my hand across her chest. She has such large and lovely breasts. You know how a mom can be, never happy with what the damn kids “did to them”. And what us perverted husbands always think, “Yeah, damn lucky kids”. I wanted to be one. Sucking on her breast and taking the love and passion and desire of her skin in to my mouth. I continued to kiss her softly while my hand cupped her breast through the soft cotton that separated it from me. I was giddy, and at the same time, hornier than a Texas frog.

I slipped my hand to her waist and up the inside of her t-shirt. I had done this countless times before and yet it felt so new. So forbidden that my lust and excitement only grew more. I could not believe how aroused I had become. She in turn had allowed her hand to slide down my chest. I recall thinking how badly I wanted her to slide all the way down and grasp my throbbing penis in her hand. I was already so hard I am sure she had to have noticed.

As I caressed her very beautiful 36D chest beneath her shirt, I moved my hips to become more comfortable. By god, I was going to enjoy this. We continued to kiss, softly really, like the long time lovers we had been as husband and wife. The taste of her lips was wonderful. My lips whispered across hers. My tongue tasted hers temporarily and I moved my kisses single-mindedly to her neck. I had been working her t-shirt up little at a time while playing with her breast. I now grasped it firmly and leaned down to suck her nipple. The quiver beneath my mouth told me she that she was mine again. We had come full circle and were going to make some long overdue fervent and even fanatical love. My concentration was lost for the moment by her voice.

Terri leaned back to allow her breast to me more easily and to free the rest of her shirt from behind her and said softly, “I really did miss this you know?” I had no answer this time either. This time I was busy.

By now I was more than in to this. I slid over her knee and kneeled on the floor between her legs. Now grasping a breast firmly in each hand, I squeezed them and taunted her nipples with my tongue. A nibble. Another. A lick and suck. Her skin was delectable. Her response to me overdue. I squeezed her breasts close together and passed back and forth over them as to give each the attention they deserved. The attention I wanted to bestow on them. And yet, my hesitance was slipping. No longer was I concerned about too much too fast. It was becoming a matter of how much? And how fast?

I continued to kiss, and suck, and nibble her breasts back and forth until I wanted more. I stood and lifted her shirt from her so that I could see how beautiful she was. We had been naked around each other all this time, but in this light, in this mood, she was even more beautiful than I was already fighting to resist all this time.

“Scott?” She murmured as my heart sank.

“Too much?” as I realized my raging hard on was just below her chin since I had stood up.

“No, not at all” she replied. “I want your cock in my mouth.” And she began to drop my pants.

She stretched the waistband around my hard on and reached around and grasped my ass with her left hand. Dropping the pants past my knees as she took a hold of my cock in her right. This single thing, for whatever reason, was the thing I missed the most. Oral sex is more than just sex. It represented to me a desire to have me, and her consideration of my needs as well. It was the thing that confirmed what she had been telling me. We were to be together forever. And I missed knowing, feeling, she felt that way. And though not as importantly, she was good at it. I had never been real big on being finished orally before her. A large part of it was her incredible skill, and yet part of my pleasure is based on how I feel about her. Watching myself disappear beyond her lips. All I wanted at that moment, while she grasped my cock and looked at it longingly, was to feel her lips wrapped firmly around it while she took me down her throat.

She looked up at me with a surprised yet impish smirk, “you’ve been keeping it neat huh?” Commenting on how I have been shaving around myself all this time. She had trimmed for me once and I liked it very much, both the act and the feel of it afterwards. After all, I like her clean, why shouldn’t I be?

Terri started teasing my cock, licking the head at first and wriggling her tongue around it. She asked in between taunts, and already knowing the answer, “do you want me to eat you?”

“Fuck yes I do” I blurted out. “Are you kidding me?”

Just then she slid me past her gums just once. All the way in and then out again.

With that, all my second thoughts and concerns about any repercussions were gone. It was on. And I was going to make the absolute most of it.

I reached my hand down to rest it on her head. She likes me to hold her hair while she eats me and I like it as well. I took a loose hold of her hair and she took me to her mouth again. Moving her head side to side ever so slightly to feel her check touch my thighs as I exited her lips. Teasing and licking me with her tongue I was a bundle of firing nerves. Every part of me was limber and yet so strung I could feel her lips as if they were all over me at once.

She began to pick up her pace a little between teases of my head. Swirling her tongue around and around my head and then impaling her face on my cock. Watching me disappear in to her lips as she sat there on the couch before me was an image of ecstasy in itself. Her soft tanned skin beneath my touch while my hand moved forward and back with her head. I looked to the ceiling as my cock pulsed to meet her every thrust past her lips. Sensing I was enjoying it, she became more active with her hand. She began stroking me feverishly as she slipped her tongue to my balls and underneath them. The feel of her tongue while she was stroking me was too much. It had been so long I was going to cum. I could feel a thunderstorm of cum brewing within me.

I reached my other hand down to her head, partly to stabilize myself again, and partly to guide her through the rhythm she had found and was working all too well. I had both hands firmly on her head and began fucking her mouth. She must have enjoyed it too because she moved one hand to under my balls to tease them. But, it was the other hand that went to my ass that and cupped one cheek from underneath and squeezed that did me in. While fucking her mouth I could almost feel myself in her throat. She was taking all of me and I wasn’t sure if my balls were dancing on her chin or if it was still her hand.

And then the lightning struck. I could feel the cum rising to me from deep within my balls. I thrust myself deep in to her mouth and watched as she swallowed me and clenched me in her hands.

“Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh ….. uh …… uh …. uh …….. oooohhhhhhhhhh” as I firmly held her face to me as I shook and came harder then I could ever recall.

She slowly leaned back and began to breath. Her cheeks were flush and yet she looked satisfied. I on the other hand felt new and completely recharged. I could feel my whole body responding to the freedom of cumming so hard. I felt so in tune with everything around me. Including what I wanted next.

I looked down and said somewhat emphatically, “your turn”.

“Huh? What did you say?” she looked back at me.

Realizing I probably only had the true strength to mumble, I added more clearly, “YOUR TURN”.

“I have wanted to eat you for so long I have visualized it while you lay next to me at night. And now I want it.” All of my thoughts were pouring out of me now.

With that I began to slide her night pants down over her hips. She lifted herself against her shoulders slightly so I could get them passed and down to her ankles. Tossing them aside I had noticed she was wearing a face of surprise and eagerness. I knew she wanted to feel my tongue inside her.

I turned back so I could face her and dropped to my knees before her on the couch. She was still leaning back slightly so I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her ass closer to the edge. I couldn’t help but hold her tightly after getting her in to position and resting my head on her chest.

“I do so love you” I said softly. “I cannot tell you how much I missed this and that you want me too.”

With that I looked her in the eye and kissed her deeply on the lips. Deep enough for her to know what it meant, but not too long. I had business to attend to.

Without opening my eyes to her, I worked the kiss down her neck. Kissing her and sucking just slightly, remembering how much she enjoys that. I traced the tip of my tongue down across her shoulder and around to her chest. Stopping long enough to move my arms from behind her waist and back to grasping each breast firmly in my fists. I was a little rough, and yet not too firm to be enjoyed. I went back to work on them. Licking her nipples. Squeezing them together. Opening my mouth wide and engulfing as much of her breast as possible. I loved the feel on her skin on my lips, on my tongue. As much as I enjoy teasing her nipples and massaging her breasts, it wasn’t what I was after.

I position myself better between her legs, lower yet, and bent in to run my tongue up the inside of her thigh. I sensed how good it felt to her as I approached closer to her pussy. Licking the inside of her thighs so she could feel my hair and cheek on the inside of the other thigh as well. Nibbling a bit, sucking until her skin was a little pink from it. She was loving it and I in turn was responding to her. It was turning me on even more realizing how much she wanted me eating her. Continuing to tease her thighs I moved from the inside of one to the other. Each time becoming a little more aggressive in my kisses and teasing of her pussy as I switched sides. Finally, I crossed from one to the other very slowly and hovered over her pussy. She arched ever so slightly to invite me in. Instead I open my mouth wide and exhaled slowly and deeply over her. The warmth of my breath drove her to relax back while reaching her hand out to my head. Not pushing me, but letting me know clearly that she wanted it.

Finally, I gave in. I’m not sure if it was giving in to her or myself, but I darted my tongue ever so softly over her pussy’s lips. And then, like a dog lapping up water on a one hundred degree day, I licked her completely from the bottom to the top and once again slower and even deeper. It was more than enough for her and she took a firm hold of my hair and enjoying to its fullest.

I continued to eat at her pussy with my tongue. Sliding it up and down her wetness. Occasionally sliding to her thigh and keep all her nerves susceptible to my touch. I began to kiss her pussy’s lips and suck them from her a bit, enticing them to open further for me. Again and again I licked at her, nibbled on her, felt her hand in my hair, heard her passive and yet overcoming moans of pleasure. As her lips opened more and more, becoming more and more wet, I went to work directly on her clit. By now it was a raging thimble of sensitivity. It beckoned my touch and enticed me to continue. My effort until now had surely taunted it and convinced it for more. I added my fingers to the playground for the first time. Not to penetrate her, not yet, but to separate her lips. I held them apart as I leaned in to suck directly on her clit. My teeth ever so slightly nibbling at it like one of her nipples before. She reacted by thrusting herself to my face. Squeezing me to her loins in sheer pleasure. She was close and I was going to take her there.

She was so wet now I didn’t need to hold her lips. She was wide open and wanting to cum. I slipped two fingers in to her to test her resolve. I was right, she wanted them inside her. I slid them in and out a few times while continuing to slap her clit with my tongue. I teased her with a third finger and then pulled them out. Reaching my hands under her ass I cupped her cheeks and drew her to my face. I buried my face in to her pussy and feverishly moved about. Teasing everything, everywhere. Nibbling hard, licking, sucking, pounding her clit with my tongue. I felt her thighs tightening around me and the soft skin of them against my head. I thrust myself again in to her, as if I could bury myself face any further in her pussy. I never stopped my aggressive assault on her orgasm. As her thighs tightened again she grabbed my hair and screamed out to me, “Yeeeeessssssss!!! Fuck! Fuck! Ooooooooo Fuck!!” Bucking her hips to me as she let out each successive “fuck” until the last one was almost whispered. Despite her orgasm I continued and continued the tongue-lashing I was giving her. Her body shivered and quaked as the last of her nerves tightened and released from the depths of her contentment. As I removed myself from her, she sighed and collapsed in to the cushions of the couch.