Nicky surveyed the spreadsheet on her computer screen. Endless rows of black and red numbers drifted up before her eyes. He desk was covered in several loose piles of invoices and credit card statements. Keeping the restaurant budget up to date was a big part of her job, and that meant filling in the empty cells in spreadsheet. She hated it.
As she scrolled down the page, the number empty cells gradually increased in number, causing her eyes to dart quickly back and forth across the screen, following each one briefly before moving on to the next. She felt her stress level rise with the thought having to fill them all in... so many blanks, each a puzzle to be solved by decoding the information on adjacent columns and sifting through the stacks of paper... addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, interest, taxes...
Her mind felt scrambled, tension rising in her neck and shoulders, she felt a headache coming on.
It wasn't always like this. She used to get a sense of satisfaction from filling in the blank cells, especially when her boss would take the time to thank her and let her know she was doing a good job. But after a while the praise stopped coming, and the satisfaction faded.
She continued scrolling further down the page to see how much work lay ahead. The blank cells gradually began to outnumber the others. Her eyes could no longer keep up, so she let her gaze soften to a distant stare as she scrolled further and further down.
She could never fill them all in. Even if she did, her only reward was that new rows would be added. She would be stuck alone in front of a screen day after day until she grew old and was replaced by someone young and naïve. She felt so alone, barely even saw anyone at work anymore, just a quick greeting on her way in and out of the restaurant. She didn't even care about her appearance anymore. She was wearing a loose fitting white blouse, faded black pants, and a pair of worn out sneakers. Her long, brown hair was tied up into a messy bun.
She blinked and realized she had reached the bottom of the page. She checked the row number - it was 6,969.
"Hah" she chuckled to herself.
She picked up her phone from the desk in front of her, unlocked it, then tapped on the red Instagram icon. She noticed the new message notification in the top right corner. Her brain released a small dose of dopamine into her bloodstream, eliciting an almost undetectable sense of reward. "I deserve a break" she thought as she clicked on the chat icon.
It was from Will. She smiled as another intoxicating wave of dopamine washed over her, this time mixed with a hint of adrenaline.
They had worked together and dated in high school, and remained friends after moving apart. They stayed in touch through social media, occasionally sending mostly innocent messages and funny memes to eachother. They were both married now, and she sometimes felt a little guilty about her online relationship with her ex, but they never saw eachother in person or sent dirty texts, so she didn't see any reason to stop.
Sure, he did cross the line occasionally, and she scolded him for it, but she was secretly flattered to know that he was still attracted to her after all these years. They couldn't keep their hands off eachother while they dated, they were just a couple of horny teenagers, after all. In fact, those were some of her hottest memories... they would do it anywhere, any time. They didn't care about getting caught, only about getting off. In fact, the risk of getting caught doing it somewhere public usually made it even hotter.
She leaned back in her chair. Her pulse quickened as she tapped her screen to open the message.
It was a meme, of course. It showed an attractive woman scrubbing something in a kitchen sink with her exposed cleavage jiggling provocatively. Her blouse was unbuttoned to the navel and barely covered her erect nipples, which were visible through the thin red fabric of her top. She wasn't wearing a bra. A man walked by and casually slapped her butt. She jumped in surprise, then scowled disapprovingly at him before resuming her work. But the corners of her mouth turned up, revealing that she secretly enjoyed his flirty advance.
Nicky couldn't help but stare at the woman's plump, perky breasts as the video replayed on her screen. They swayed and jiggled provocatively, bouncing against her arms like Jello as she scrubbed the dishes in the sink. Nicky watched them intently, amazed that her nipples didn't pop out.
The caption read: "when your coworker is always distracting you".
Will had added a message underneath: "reminds me of when we worked together"
She sent a laughing emoji reaction, then typed: "you always tried to distract me"
She closed the chat and considered returning her attention to her job, but the spreadsheet was too repulsive.
She continued scrolling her feed, which was a mix of cute animal videos, interior design ideas, crafts, and couples humour. She usually shared the couples humour ones with Will, especially ones about how much harder life was for women. They seemed to have so many more responsibilities than men, at home, at work, in social settings. Men seemed blissfully ignorant, happily watching sports and playing video games, only helping out when their wives specifically asked them to do something. She watched a few reels of stressed out women complaining about their stressful lives. It wasn't fair.
She eventually came across a video of a puppy struggling to climb a flight of stairs. It eventually gave up and scurried over to its master's feet, wagging its tail, as if asking for help. The man picked the puppy up and cuddled it briefly before putting it down at the top of the stairs. The puppy went back down the stairs to its master's feet and rolled onto its back submissively, apparently no longer worried about climbing the stairs after all. It just wanted to be cuddled. The cute video triggered the release of oxytocin into Nicky's bloodstream, making her feel warm, safe, and happy. The caption read: "when you realize what really makes you happy".
A new message from Will appeared on her screen.
"You were the distracting one! Hard to concentrate when you look like that ;)"
She smirked, he was such a flirt. But was he referring to her, or the woman in the video?
Nicky's breasts were larger than average, and she knew the effect they had on guys. She used to enjoy the attention, but as she got older, she began to hide her body. She'd been turned off by one too many unwelcome advances from creepy guys. But not from Will.
From his occasional posts, she saw that he had grown into a good looking man, much more handsome than the gangly teenager with the cute smile that she had fallen in love with. But he still had the same eyes and cute smile. That and his goofiness. She could tell from chatting that he was still fun and goofy. She remembered how safe and happy she felt in his arms, looking into his eyes, laying beside him under the covers. She wondered how often he thought of her and all the good times they'd shared. The adventures, laughs, and the steamy sex of course. Judging by his flirty text, he was probably thinking about the steamy times right now.
She considered this as she read his message, and another wave of arousal washed over her. She slumped deeper into her chair, savoring the warm, light headed feeling. Like the head rush she got after taking a drag from a cigarette. Her eyes were half-lidded and a dopey smile crept over her face.
