With a little help from the bank and a lot of help from a nice prize in a lottery I became the proud owner of a nice house out in the suburbs. I liked the neighbourhood and the neighbours and it was a handy commute to my place of employment.
My first year in my new house was spent in slowly getting my yard the way I wanted it. It took some effort but everything was now the way just right.
Then one of my immediate neighbours moved out and a young couple moved in. I'd guess that they were both in their early twenties. He was currently gainfully employed and she was currently looking to be the same. However, seeing she was still looking for work she would get out and work on their garden, which I'll admit that old Mike had let get into a state of disrepair.
I had no objection to that sweet young lass (let's call her Suzy) doing her gardening. What I did object to was her throwing bits and pieces over the fence instead of carting them over to her rubbish bins. It was totally inconsiderate behaviour and I let her know it in no uncertain fashion when I finally managed to catch her in the act.
She apologised most winsomely and I have to admit that she did cut down on her easy waste disposal. She didn't exactly stop it, but she did cut down on it. I let it go at that, although it was a source of some annoyance.
A Friday rolled around when I chanced to come home at lunch time, the office closing early due to an unfortunate accident. Some clown smoking in a non-smoking area tossed his lit cigarette into a waste bin. The bin caught fire and the sprinklers went off and we shut-up shop while the clean-up took place.
It was a nice day so as soon as I got home I grabbed a deckchair, a book, and a beer, and went outside to enjoy the sunshine while I read for a while. Um, maybe I had a complete six-pack where the beer was concerned but who was counting?
So there was I, comfortably relaxed, when a rock the size of a half-brick came sailing over the fence and bounced off my skull. I gave a yell and slapped a hand over the injured spot and could feel a lump the size of an egg already there. No blood, but a hell of a lump. I also hear a startled gasp from next door and the pitter-patter of feet making a getaway.
I bounced out of my chair and onto the fence, looking over it and yelling all in the same moment.
"Hold it right there, Suzy, blast you. I want a word with you."
She came to a halt while I vaulted over the fence and land in her yard. (Quite an achievement as I don't think I could do that quite so easily in the normal run of things. Pain and temper give you a nice edge.)
I stalked over to her while she waited in fear and trembling. I wish. She just stood there glaring at me defiantly, though she did blush a little when I was close enough for her to see the lump on my head.
"I'm sorry," she said, sounding as though she begrudged every word. "It wasn't deliberate."
"You threw a brick over the fence by accident?"
"It wasn't a brick. Just a small stone. I meant I wasn't trying to hit you."
"Oh, you just got lucky, I guess. I can assure you that it felt like a brick. I thought we discussed your throwing things over the fence?"
"Oh, for Pete's sake. It was just one small stone."
"Plus sundry other items every so often," I pointed out. "You don't seem to learn. Maybe if I explain it a different way."
"OK, I've learnt," she said quickly, but I shook my head.
"No, I don't think you have. Not really, but don't let that worry you. I know just how to drive the lesson home."
She gave me a very suspicious look and I smirked.
"Don't worry. All I'm going to do is put you over my knee and spank you. Then every time you're tempted to toss something the memory of that spanking will tell you it's not a good idea as another spanking might be on its way."