The sound of an insect buzzed away somewhere in the distance waking up the sleeping figure lying on the small cot. The fabric of the person's dress was illuminated by the glaring street light across the road from the room, through the beams of the window.
Inaya squinted at the light and lifting her hand away from her eyes, she rose up and sat on the edge of her cot. She flinched when her toes touched the cold floor as she searched for her slippers under the bed and gasped. Not finding them, she bent down and found them on the corner end below the bed. Reaching for it, she brought them out with her hands. Inaya wore them and sauntered off to the bathroom while trying her best to ignore her elder sister's empty and locked bedroom.
She wasn't her sister biologically, but the special bond she shared with her made her heart feel hollow in her absence. Safina had been married to Djamel Khan, a man who was close to both Inaya and Safina's father, Mukhtar.
Inaya remembered the day when this was told, one week before the wedding, she was inconsolable. More than Safina herself, who was quite satisfied and visibly in control at the revelation. Inaya was still young and she'd said a lot of things like running away and all that. But the marriage took place anyway and nothing could be done.
Inaya had two more siblings besides Safina. Aliya the eldest among the four of them and Shakeel, the youngest among them and brother to three sisters. Safina and Aliya were married. Inaya hadn't much closeness with Aliya than she had with her young sister Safina, for Aliya always considered herself to be of a bit higher status than the rest of them, at least when compared with Inaya and her brother.
Aliya thought this, because her and Safina's mother, Bano, was the second wife of Mukthar. Before that she was married to a rich Restaurant chain owner, whose business was churning out millions in cash. But a feud arose and Bano was sent out after a bitter divorce, which she'd agreed to on the condition that she could have her children with her but not have a legal stake in her husband's wealth. Subsequently Bano, once a woman of a rich household was reduced to mere nothingness and she struggled a lot, until meeting with Mukhtar, a simple cobbler, through an acquaintance and ended up marrying him. Thus Bano brought Aliya and Safina, her two children from her previous marriage, to Mukhtars home and became the mother to not one but four children.
So the thought that she was once entitled to wealth beyond anything was something of an eye opener to Aliya who became stubborn and adamant in her demands. She began to meet her 'real' father, Azam Khan and became close to his son, Firoz Khan, a very bright and upcoming man in the business of the 'Khan and Khan Biriyani'. Very soon Aliya told of her intentions on marrying Firoz, much to the shock and embarrassment of her own mother and even Mukhtar. Although he knew that it was impossible to make a woman's mind change, especially one like Aliya whom he once addressed as "reminding him of his first wife".
But more shocked at all this was Safina who confided with Inaya that she barely recognised her own elder sister, Aliya, anymore.
Inaya washed her face and peered into the bathroom sink's mirror. Her face was much clearer now, she thought, than what it was before during her school days, filled with acne around due to the constant covering of her face with the hijab. Her mother was shocked and even took her to the doctor much to her embarrassment. But the doctor said that it was nothing to worry about and prescribed some creams. And when he asked her if she felt uncomfortable during the day, she blurted out that she sweat a lot while donning the hijab. The doctor said that is also possible but to now convince her parents about this was another milestone. Surprisingly her mother didn't complain but it was her fathers reaction that confused her. He merely nodded and told her she was free to do whatever she wanted. Angrily the next day she walked around without a hijab but he didn't utter a word of reproach making her look foolish.
Now it seemed like ages, since she had even worn a proper hijab. Inside she was free, but outside just till the end of the road, she would wear the hijab after which during the bus she would take it out and replace it with a loose chunni to cover her head.
Inaya realised she was still in her old clothes from yesterday and looking at the time, she decided to bathe and get ready for college. While coming back after getting a towel, she paused at her stepmother's bedroom and waited to somehow expect her presence. Scolding her.
It seemed ages ago since the house Inaya shared with her stepsisters and her little brother Shakeel had been full of love. The love of Bano. Their mother, beyond blood. Someone, somewhere had supposedly seen Bano with a man and her inappropriate behavior was highly condemned, but what it brought up about Bano's past was what had shocked everyone. Apparently Bano used to offer her services as a prostitute in the infamous red light districts of Bombay and was even much sought after. The man she'd met was said to be one of her previous lovers or a former customer. Though Mukhtar was unhappy and upset by all these revelations, he wasn't too keen to let go of Bano because he simply adored her, but the immense pressure put upon him forced him to help drive Bano out of the house, after she was deemed a bad influence on the house and children. Inaya recollected herself and Safina silently weeping into their crying mother's body, but both were helpless, just like their mother. After all, what say could a woman, especially in a Muslim household, have in that house or any other house for that matter. That was years ago before Inaya got to know that Bano was now settled in a distant village in Uttar Pradesh and seemed well. Though it didn't have to be mentioned both sisters, Inaya and Safina knew that since Aliya hadn't bothered to come say goodbye it had torn away Bano's fragile heart.
Inaya faintly recollected the memories of her mother crooning to little Shakeel when he was still a baby. The only woman who could control any child not with force but so much love. Inaya would sit and stare, when she was a girl at how her mother calmed her brother down. Sitting cross legged on the cold cement floor of the outhouse, the sun rays warming up the floor slowly till afternoon, her mother sat patiently nuzzling into the baby's cheeks and allowing the baby to play with her hair.
Inaya never felt anything less than a daughter in the presence of her stepmother and always called her mother. So did Shakeel. And neither did Bano. Despite being the mother of two young daughters, Bano only felt more encouraged to love Inaya and Shakeel when she first saw them. Leaving aside the initial hesitancy, Inaya seeing the way she handled Shakeel and after that Aliya who was wild when she was young and Safina, fell into Bano's arms soon.
Whatever Inaya felt she knew about life and the way she herself wanted to be she felt it came from her mother. Especially the longing for mothering a child. It was the one main reason she wanted to be a child doctor. The feeling of having to care for a child, becoming a part of their upbringing made her feel calm and proud. Her mother was definitely pleased but the rest of her family teased her endlessly.
The cold water that Inaya poured over her head made her shudder. She pulled a small plastic seat that women used to sit for washing clothes and sat on it before pouring another cup over her head and gasped. She pushed her wet hair back and wiped her face off with water. She reached for a bar of soap and began to lather her neck, breasts and stomach. She did the same to her hands and legs, not leaving much, before she proceeded to her crotch and stopped.
It was sometime in her late teens during school, when she had discovered her very high sexual nature. Inaya was initially petrified. To begin with she began to envision boys with all their glorious bodies and lusting after her. It wasn't all a fantasy after all many did, but when the classes about reproduction began and Inaya was properly introduced on how babies are made and how pregnancy occurs, she recollected being completely enraptured with the concept of sex. All day she would spend dreaming about how she would be impregnated and bear the most beautiful baby ever born. How she and her husband would spend eons copulating together.
The visions were so vivid and so different, that Inaya felt compelled to rub herself against someone or something. Realizing this was something very strange, she confided in her mother, a decision that still makes Inaya blush about, but back in school Inaya hadn't been very reserved and considering that her mother had helped her with her periods she didn't think it would be a big issue.
That day after school, she came straight to the kitchen still in her school uniform.
