This whole situation is, well, weird. What on earth do I think I am doing? I really can't believe that I am here today - it almost feels as though I am hitching a lift in somebody else's body, just a passenger along for the ride. I have to periodically remind myself that this is for real, that it really is happening. But still it is hard to accept.
I have thought many times about meeting you in person, but something inside told me that perhaps it would be better just to keep things purely online. But the thought kept returning, each time with more insistence. Our mutual curiosity just grew and got the better of us. So we arranged this meeting, on neutral ground, to satisfy our curiosities once and for all.
The corridor in the hotel is unremarkable, flanked by a line of many doors. As I walk past each I hear muffled sounds behind them - one has TV noises, another has people talking but most are just silent. There is only one door I am really interested in, and I have arrived outside it.
I am filled with doubt. Whatever possessed me to make this trip? So many ways it can go wrong, I mean, real life never lives up to your dreams, does it? You might shudder away from me. The picture you have of me makes the best of what I have - the camera can hide a multitude of sins.
I am terribly nervous. I feel an involuntary shiver in my body. My mouth feels dry and my forehead feels hot. I lift my free hand and form it into a fist. Knock. The sound echoes down the corridor. What seems like an eternity passes before I hear a noise behind the door. The handle twists and the lock gives off a loud click as you release it. The sudden report startles me. The door opens.
Eyes peek around the door. I look into your eyes. You look back. I'm desperately trying to read the expression now forming on your face. Anxiety? Maybe a little. Disappointment? Perhaps.
A smile.
You smiled! Oh yes, a nice, broad friendly smile, not a stiff, polite one either! The corners of my mouth involuntarily move upwards and out. How did you make me do that? You must have magic powers, yes, that's the only rational explanation ...
There is a slight hesitation. I speak - or at least try to. A dry croak squeaks from my mouth. You cover your mouth and stifle a laugh as my cheeks flare into crimson. I don't feel embarrassed though, you don't make me feel that way at all.
"Oh, you brought me flowers" you say. Flowers? I look dumbly down at my hand clenched tightly around the stems.
"Oh ... yes" I reply - my voice has now, mercifully, regained its normal tenor. I hold them out to you and you take them. As you do so your fingers brush my hand - not completely accidental, I think. The contact causes me to look back into your eyes. We gaze at one another until we become aware that the roses are still hovering between us.
"Come in, you can't stand out there all evening!" I can still feel nerves and I sense a slight edginess in you too. I step inside, closing the door behind me.
The hotel room is plain, a king bed with a couple of dressers. In the corner a fake plant stands behind an armchair and along the wall there is a mirror and dresser. You are now stood by the dresser in front of the mirror, giving me the chance to study you in duplicate. Although study is the wrong word, it's too clinical. Admire would be a much better way to describe it. I have only known you from pictures and words online. I now realize that they never came close to conveying your true beauty.
I am feeling much more relaxed and I take the opportunity to slip the travel bag off my shoulder. I walk up to you and look down into your eyes. I take the flowers from your hand and place them on the dresser. I wrap my arms around you and hold you close, pressing your body into mine. You feel simply fantastic in my arms. You squeeze back and we stand awhile, slowly crushing the breath out of each other.