"What I really want to do, in black and white, is photograph you naked," he explained. "It would be so different from the other things yet still the same. Naked can mean innocent, yet it can also be passionate and sexual. But it's something every person deals with every day; it's the most complete part of a person, their body. The pictures of you have been in black and white except for one roll, so they are already different. I was just hoping to take it a step further."
I blushed deeply. "Are you serious?"
"Of course," he said. "I've seen you naked, it's...it's flawless."
My face was getting redder by the second.
"Please?"
I looked at him. He was one hundred percent genuine, an unlikely thing for Ben. He really wanted to do this.
"Okay," I said quietly. "In here?"
He nodded eagerly.
I was apprehensive as I slowly stripped of my clothes. It wasn't that I was nervous about being naked in front of Ben, that wasn't a big deal. But having naked pictures of me? I wasn't so sure that would be a great idea. I never understood what was so sexual about seeing a girl naked. For me, the fact that someone is naked isn't what is sexy, it's how he looks; it's that look in his eyes that tells me he is going to have his way with me. That's what sexual. Without the sexual heat, being naked was pure, bare, vulnerable.
"Ready?" Ben asked me hesitantly.
I nodded and took a deep breath. Ben didn't try to hide his eyes; I tried to ignore his awed stare.
I was naked. Naked. And someone was going to take pictures of me. Part of my head was screaming "No! Get out of here!" but the other part wanted me to give it a shot. It was Ben, nothing horrible could happen. If I decided I didn't want people seeing the pictures or something like that, he would destroy them for me. That was just the way it was.
"Face that wall, wrap your arms around yourself, and looked at me. Oh and take your hair down," Ben instructed. "I'm so glad you didn't blow it straight. You know how much I love your raven Sarah Jessica Parker curls."
I blushed and giggled. I did what he told me to. It was surprisingly natural. Plus, I don't think Ben got a straight on of any of my body parts; always the gentleman, easing me into it.
We spent about an hour and a half taking pictures. My favorite was a shot from behind; I was sitting backward on a chair, leaning against it, looking over my shoulder and directly into the camera, with a few stray curls of hair in my way. The bottom of the shot only showed part of my back, so nothing was exposed. We did a few full frontals and some with exposure, but I preferred everything but.
"That's all I need I guess," Ben said.
"Was I good?" I asked.
"Babe, you were great," he grinned.
I headed over to my clothes on the bed.
"So, who were you wearing the underwear for?" he asked.
I looked at him, rather shocked.
"What do you mean?"
"The underwear, who are you wearing it for?" he repeated. "You didn't know I was coming so I know that underwear wasn't for me. And at the same time, I know you don't wear black lacy underwear just for the sake of wearing it."
"It's been five years, maybe I've changed," I replied.
"In other words I should just buzz off and realize that it's none of my business?" he asked.
"Basically."
"But it is sort of my business. Because I want to know who's girlfriend I am doing inappropriate things to when I do them," he said.
My jaw dropped. It shouldn't have been surprising. He was just being Ben, and I knew as well as he did that we would probably end up having sex before he went back to England – I mean come on, I was standing in front of him naked at the very moment. It was just bold and unexpected; classic Ben. He was always quite a gentleman, but at the same time, if he wanted something, he was going to get it. If he wanted to have sex with someone, he probably would. And he wasn't afraid to say it.
"His name is James and he is my twenty-eight year old professor," I stated flatly.
"You little slut," he grinned. "That was his sweatshirt that you were wearing earlier too, wasn't it? How long have you two been together?"
"Over a month. And yes, we have had sex, and yes, it was great, and yes, I do love him," I replied.
"Would it kill him if I fucked you on that bed?" Ben asked, stepping toward me.
The clothes in my hands dropped to the floor, and my heart quickened.
"I don't know," I stammered. "With you, all bets are off."
He took another step toward me. I lost control of my breath; it was random, not always breathe in, breathe out. I gasped, I sighed, I breathed without being in charge of my lungs. Ben's hand went to my hip. I had a flash of James; after Sandy Colbert, dessert and sex, in his kitchen at Thanksgiving, the park.