It was a cold Monday night in early December, and it seemed that a larger than normal collection of Chicago was gathered here. I had arrived at the pub half an hour before the game to make sure I got a good table. I placed my order with my server, who made an extra effort to give me sexy glances in an attempt to get more tips from me. I asked her if the game was going to be on the TV just a few feet away from my table and she told me that the bartender controlled all the TVs. So I walked up to the bar to inquire. And that is where it happened.
I couldn't believe I did it. I mean, seriously, I am never that clumsy. But tonight, I backed up from the bar after getting my answer and I simply knocked her down. I was horrified as I heard her fall and I turned around to apologize. And then I was simply stunned. There, sitting on her ass at my feet, was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I froze for a second, totally incapable of speaking, or even moving. And then she reached up to me and broke the silence.
"Well, the least you could do is help me up." Her voice was more than a little sarcastic, but at least it wasn't angry or hostile. And I immediately reacted.
"I am so sorry. That was very clumsy of me. Please..." I stopped speaking and helped her to her feet. When she seemed to be in a vertical and stable position, I continued apologizing.
"I am so sorry. Please, can I replace your drink? What were you having?" My words were tumbling out of my mouth and before I began to not make sense, she placed her index finger against my lips in the universal sigh to be quiet. She looked into my eyes for a couple seconds, her green eyes twinkling. Finally, she smiled and spoke.
"Nothing seems to be broken, so please stop apologizing. Truth is, I want another drink more than I want an apology." I hesitated for just a second before shoving my drink into her hand. She laughed quietly and handed my drink back to me. Then she pointed to the bar.
"Thanks, but I want what I was having and not what you were having." I hesitated another second or two and suddenly my brain began to function again. And with that, my manners returned.
"Of course. That was silly of me. Again, I am so sorry for knocking you down. And what were you having?" She asked me for a Cosmopolitan and I quickly turned to the bartender. He had seen me knock the woman over and he was expecting me to replace her drink. I nodded to him and he began to prepare her drink for her. I turned back to the woman and introduced myself.
"Again, please accept my apologies for being so clumsy. My name is Cliff Drummond and I..." This time I stopped talking because I was dumbfounded by her beauty. For just a second, I was convinced that I had just knocked Audrey Hepburn to the floor.
She seemed to be in her late forties or early fifties. She stood almost a foot shorter than my six feet three inches. She had dark, almost black hair and it was cut short, barely reaching her collar. She parted it just over her left eye and wore it straight. And her eyes were the deepest green I had ever seen. They were sparkling up at me as I gazed at her face. Her brows matched her hair and she wore very little makeup beyond a little eyeliner and pale red lipstick. And I loved her lipstick. Well not her lipstick, but her lips. They seemed to reach out in a permanent kiss, and they were very distracting. I found myself wanting to kiss her very badly.
I let my eyes drop a little further and I saw that she wore a light sweater, ivory in color. Her boobs were large for her small frame, probably a C-Cup, but her nipples were outstanding. Literally, they were standing out. They weren't particularly large, but they protruded wonderfully. My fingers were tingling with the desire to reach out and pinch them. I guessed that she wore no bra, and I realized that I could just reach out and tweak those wonderful nipples...
"Hello. Cliff. Anyone home?" I was caught staring at her boobs and I was suddenly embarrassed. I quickly glanced up into her eyes and my expression clearly showed my embarrassment.
"So, now I owe you a second apology. At the rate I am going, it will take me the next ten minutes to apologize enough." I smiled down at her, trying to show as much sincerity in my eyes as possible. And she laughed sweetly, an almost musical sound.
"They are there to attract your attention. So you don't need to apologize for staring at them." She grinned at me and I was surprised at her casual attitude over my staring at her boobs. The confusion showed and she responded to it. She inhaled slowly as she considered her words.
"Listen, God gave them to me, and they are almost impossible to hide. Since high school, they managed to get more attention than I wanted. So now I use them as bait, like I was fishing. Men stare at them and they buy me drinks so they can stare a little longer. Ultimately, someone shows how much he wants to stare and he buys me dinner. I realize it is a little disingenuous of me, but I seldom have to pay for drinks or dinner when I come here. And I get to meet some very interesting people." I peered deeply into her eyes to see if she was joking and I concluded, based on the twinkling in her eyes, that she was. So I decided to respond in kind.
"Well, sweet lady, I would like to declare my desire to stare for quite a while by replacing your drink, buying several more, and buying you dinner. Would that be acceptable to you?" I held her gaze for several seconds without breaking it, as we took measure of each other. Finally, she smiled again and nodded her agreement. I held her gaze for a few more seconds before saying anything more. Then I thanked her.
"I confess that I am thrilled you accepted my offer for an extended opportunity to stare, because I was prepared to go much higher than just dinner and drinks." I grinned widely at her and my eyes dropped quickly to her boobs and then returned to her eyes just as quickly. She chuckled and replied.
"And I was prepared to settle for less to give you that opportunity." And her eyes were still twinkling at me, indicating that she was more entertained than pissed off by my inability to stop glancing at her boobs. I suddenly realized that she had been serious when she was talking about fishing with bait.
Just then, the bartender served her Cosmopolitan and I signaled him to put it on my tab. Then I gently took her elbow and escorted her over to my table. I had a small basket of fried mushrooms waiting there, and I commented about it as I seated the woman I beginning to think of as Nipples.
"I had ordered the mushrooms and then I walked over to the bartender to make sure he was going to play the game on this TV. That is when I knocked you to the floor. And, again, I apologize for that."
