If You Go Down in the Woods Someday
Hi there! Just a few words before we go any further to say that I hope that you enjoy reading my stories and that I welcome all feedback -- positive and negative -- to my e-mail address. I may not be able to reply to you all, buy I do value your comments!
With regard to the content of my stories, although there are certain aspects of truth woven throughout what I write, ALL of my stories (unless otherwise stated) are works of fiction.
Finally, may I state that I do not condone any form of illegal act -- sexual or otherwise -- and that any reference that I may make to the above in my stories, is purely there for the sake of the story!
I sincerely hope that you enjoy this particular offering
Best wishes
Zeldas Slave.
*
You know how it is; things aren't working out 100% in a relationship and you start thinking back over all the previous relationships that you've had down the years and back - in particular - to that one memorable relationship in which you had all you could have wished for -- if only you'd have known it at the time!
Well I had one of those moments just the other day. To be honest, me and my old lady have been going through a sticky patch recently - what with me seeming to work more hours than they put on the clock just lately and with her starting the menopause.
Anyway, I was laying in bed last Sunday morning playing with my half-hard cock (c'mon guys admit it -- we all play with them any chance we get -- right!) when I got to thinking about a girl I had dated many years ago. Her name was Sarah and, looking back, I reckon she must have been a raving nymphomaniac!
My old lady had already got up out of bed; in something of a huff actually, because I'd tried to have my lecherous way with her only a few minutes before and she wasn't having any of it. And now I could hear her crashing around down stairs like a mad thing. I sighed and reckoned it was going to be one of those days..........
Anyway, there I was, rubbing a rapidly rising semi hard-on with one hand, the other tweaking one of my nipples - the way I remembered Sarah used to sometimes - eyes closed, thinking about her and some of our more erotic times together, when I heard the front door slam and the sound of a car starting up. To be honest, it startled me a bit and I half moved to cover myself up before I realised what the sound actually was.
'Great!' I thought 'She's off to her bloody mother's now; to pour her heart out to the old bat I bet. And when she comes back in a couple of hours time, she'll be fit to give me hell - thanks to her mothers goading! What a fucking way to live!'
I listened closely for a few more moments to make absolutely sure that it had been my old lady driving off and not our neighbour and then I threw off the duvet and settled down to some serious masturbation!
Now it has to be said that I'm not one of those guys with an enormous cock!
At school, I soon learned that I'd been towards the back of the line when mammoth dicks were being handed out. Mine is around 6 inches when fully hard and of average thickness and in truth it has been something of an obsession of mine that I didn't have enough to satisfy a woman and so for years, I was a little backwards about coming forward -- if you know what I mean -- and so I was quite late losing my cherry. Then one day when I was between relationships and feeling a bit of an outcast, I met Sarah.......
I'll never forget that first meeting. It was back in the days when the only things you needed to worry about in a sexual relationship were not getting the bird pregnant and not getting a 'dose!'.
HIV hadn't been discovered then and short of having your cock scraped through with that nasty little umbrella thing at the local clap clinic, the overall embarrassment - and having to take antibiotics - you were pretty free to put it about a bit. And so I had. Well, at least I'd tried to.........And then, as I said, I met Sarah.
I'd gone over to a mate's house that particular evening and we were sitting in his mom's front room; each with a can of lager in our fists; talking a load of post adolescent shit - it was going to be my 21st. birthday the weekend after next and we were discussing going out and getting pissed (and hopefully laid) amongst other things - when his younger sister bounced into the room unannounced (as was her habit!) and was followed in closely by the most gorgeous looking girl I'd ever seen.
'Oh, hi Steve!' Said my mate's sister sounding somewhat surprised when she saw us sitting there. 'I thought we'd be able to use the front tonight.....' she said expectantly. There was a look of obvious disappointment on her face and she looked at me with something close to a scowl -- as if us being there at all was all-my fault. I was somewhat embarrassed to think that we'd be spoiling their evening and looked down at my own can of beer, swilling its contents around self-consciously, hoping that they'd leave us to it, when my mate said:
'Sorry, Sis, important business. We're discussing Dave's birthday next weekend and where we're going to go to get trashed!'
He waved his lager can in half salute and as if to impress on her how important this 'man-talk' was. She didn't seem impressed though. 'You and Sarah can stay if you like' He continued 'but we ain't movin'!'
This last sentence was delivered in a pseudo-American western-style drawl that had probably seemed cool at the time - but would make me cringe these days -- and as if to emphasise his determination to stay where he was, he held up a couple of cans of beer in their plastic strapping and waved them seductively at the girls.
Steve's sister seemed to be just on the verge of launching into a tirade against us when suddenly the other girl -- Sarah -- spoke and, when she did, it sent a shiver down my spine........
'I'll have a lager with you boys' She said brightly 'We can celebrate your mate's birthday early, can't we?' She smiled and then said 'Aren't you going to introduce us properly Steve?'
She sounded like a younger version of the sultry actress Fenella Fielding and as she reached across to take the proffered cans of beer from Steve, it was then that I noticed for the first time just how bloody gorgeous she was!
I guessed her to be about Steve's sister's age -- that being 18 or 19 -- and she had the most beautiful natural blonde hair I'd ever seen on a woman. As if to confirm she was a natural blonde, she had lovely blonde eyebrows, long fair eyelashes and her big blue eyes looked deep and warm - like two small tropical rock pools and her teeth were beautifully white and absolutely perfect. She could have been a model.
I felt myself begin to sweat and my mind raced -- trying to find something 'cool' to say to this beautiful woman who had at least expressed an interest in my upcoming 21st. -- but I decided to keep quiet and save myself the embarrassment. Maybe she was just being polite..... I merely smiled and tried -- somewhat unsuccessfully looking back -- to appear cool and detached, like I thought 'hip' guys would.
Steve eventually introduced us 'properly' and as I recall I did say something a bit 'naff' to Sarah in the end but we moved on and apart from blushing a little bit I got through it quite well!
Anyway, cutting a long story short, the four of us sat there for the rest of that evening and drank and talked and talked and drank and laughed -- and drank some more -- and as the alcohol got into us, a good deal of friendly banter was exchanged by us all.
It was about 11 o-clock as I recall, when Sarah finally said that she would have to be going and it was at that point that I finally found some courage (helped greatly by all the beer I'd drunk!) and I offered to see her home.
There were a few moments silence and I could see that both Steve and his sister were about to say something -- knowing Steve it'd have been some kind of piss-take - when Sarah Said.
'Oh, are you sure? I don't want to put you out -- but that'd be really nice.'
My stomach did a back-flip and my mouth went suddenly dry.
I'd quite frankly expected her to politely decline my offer; perhaps even giggle and say that she had a car outside or that Steve or his sister would see her home and so her acceptance of my offer came as something of a shock!
Anyway, several boozy 'goodnights' later -- and after an innuendo filled warning from Steve to me to 'be good' which made my cheeks go quite red - the two of us were standing outside Steve's closed front door and I nervously asked Sarah where she lived.
It turned out that she only lived a few streets away and so we started to walk (well weave I suppose) to her house. To be honest, had she lived any further away, I would have had to get us a taxi, because I'd left my car at home (I lived quite close to Steve's) and I was too pissed to drive anyway!