If I Had Words

I wish that I could tell you exactly what I'd like to do to you, but I haven't the words. I see you, lying next to me, and all I want to do is let you know how I feel. Even now, while you're asleep, I just can't make myself voice all of the wicked thoughts that are spinning through my mind. I'd like to be bold, to spill it all out and damn the consequences, but I fear I've played the lady for too long now. Maybe instead, I should just show you....

I do love watching you sleep. So relaxed, so peaceful, and nearly always flat on your back. You sleep like a rock- a fortunate trait for you to have, since I twist and turn throughout the night. Your 'sleep of the dead' is slightly annoying at times, like when you've stolen all the covers or when the dog needs to go out, but tonight, I'm going to use it to my advantage. I want to touch you, to discover every inch of you. My heart speeds at these thoughts, and I have to lick my suddenly dry lips. But I wonder, how much I can tease you before you stir? How far I can go, before you wake? I can hardly wait to find out.

Lucky for me, it's a bit warm tonight; otherwise your shivers might make you wake too soon. And I don't want you awake yet. I wouldn't have the courage to try this if you were. I want to play, I want to explore. I want to take my time, and make you shiver in other ways, to tremble for quite a while before you finally wake. I can feel my own pulse racing in anticipation, my own body quivering in excitement- and my own silly blushes, heating my skin.

Nevertheless, I move to my knees beside you, and slowly begin to tug at the soft sheet that covers your shoulders. Inch by inch, the fabric slides down until I've bared your chest to my gaze. Leaving the sheet pooled at your waist, I softly run my hand up your side, lightly grazing your skin with my nails on my way up your body. My fingertips caress your chest, tangling in the curls. They pause, rubbing softly over your nipples, tracing the muscles just beneath your skin. Warm beneath my palms, I can feel your heart beating slowly, steadily. I want that to change. I want to feel it beating frantically, pulsing faster, even throbbing beneath my hands. But not just yet. I'm still exploring.

I lean forward, letting my hair cascade over your chest as I trace my hand over your collarbone, across your shoulder. Mmm, I do love your shoulders- so broad, so strong. Bending down, I press soft kisses, ever so sweetly, to a shoulder, up the side of your neck, just below your ear. One of my favorite spots, it always makes you shudder when I kiss you here. I pause for a moment, my breath warm on your neck, breathing in your scent and let it fill me. Slightly salty, musky. Entirely you. I want to bury my face in your neck and nip your tender skin. The urge is nearly overwhelming, but I manage to hold back, letting out an involuntary whimper of need as I pull away from temptation. I fear I tarried too long, and the sudden absence of my warm skin makes you shiver, the first of what I hope will be many times. Fortunately, your sleep continues. But I'm too close up here- I'll ruin my game if I wake you accidentally.

As I sit back on my heels again, my hair trails down over your chest. I let my hand glide across your shoulder and down your arm, barely touching your skin. I know you're a bit ticklish there. One twitch, maybe two is all I'll allow. I don't want you waking up yet! My fingers gently trace patterns on the back of your hand, before lifting your palm to my lips. I nuzzle your palm for a moment, rubbing my tongue lightly in the center of your hand. My heart skips a beat as your fingers tense, then relax. My gaze shoots to your face in fear to see if you've awakened, but your eyes are still closed, your breathing still deep. After a moment, I slowly lick your fingertips with long, slow, swirls of my tongue, but all I see is a flickering behind your eyelids. I bet you're having some very sweet dreams! It's fascinating to watch your face as I slide your finger into my mouth, closing my lips over it and teasing it, flicking my tongue all the way up and down its length. A small moan escapes, and you shudder as I nip the end of your finger gently and replace your hand on the bed.

Watching still to be sure you don't stir, I bend over you again to trace my tongue across your chest, licking my way from one side to the other. I detour upward to sweep my lips over your throat, then trail downward to swirl my tongue around your nipple. Hard between my lips, I brush over it again and again with my tongue, then bite it softly. A fine trembling seizes your body, and I settle back until it subsides- though I must confess I can't resist flicking at your nipples with my nails, just to keep the shivers going a bit longer. Oh, I do like playing with you- I should do this more often!

My fingers dance over your ribs, lightly landing here and there to caress and toy with your skin. I trace the downy line of hair on your chest, smoothing it down over your stomach, enjoying the way your muscles tense and relax, tense and relax, as I work my way ever further down your body. Soft damp kisses for your stomach. Slow loving licks for your ribs. My tongue swirls all around, getting your skin all wet and warm. Then blowing coolly where I just licked, I cause a flurry of goose bumps to erupt- and am rewarded another shiver.

My hands flirt with your hips, gliding softly under the sheet to tease and torment. I don't think I've ever wanted you so very much. Your skin is so warm, your scent intoxicating. Every time I look up at you, I half hope your eyes will be open so I can end this game, go back to playing the lady again, waiting impatiently for you to take control once more. But no, this is my choice. I want this. I want you. And still I'm short on words, so must let my hands speak for me as they creep lower beneath the sheet. I wrap my hands around the sides of your thighs, squeezing tenderly, pressing my thumbs softly into the little depressions just below the bones of your hips.

I can't bear to take my hands from your skin long enough to move the sheet. Another fine red blush covers my face as I bow my head toward you. My hands tickle at your hips while I grab the sheet with my teeth and tug it down a bit further. Now I can see the line of your thigh, thick with muscle and so tempting. I brush my hair across your thigh, barely touching your skin, just enough to make you twitch. You're still covered by the sheet, but only just. I haven't even really touched you yet, but I can see you're already excited- impressively so, if the mountain under the sheet is any indication. I can't help but smile as you jump when I flick the ends of my hair over you. A glance at your face shows me that you're not awake yet, but your breathing is starting to get a bit uneven.

Oh dear. Only now do I see my folly. I can feel my body, awakened and quivering, already warmed and damp with wanting. But this tortuous seduction wasn't supposed to be for me! I hadn't thought it through when I started. You know one of my favorite things is to nip, to bite- but if I nibble too hard, my game will be over! And if I give in to the wickedly delightful notion I have now, you surely will wake up. Now all I can think about is how much I want to lick my way from your knee to your thigh, nipping gently when I reach the top. Working my way toward your inner thigh with soft, wet kisses. Then going a bit further....

Suddenly, I don't want to play any more.

I gently shove at your leg, moving it until I can settle myself between your thighs. I do as I've only imagined before and place a ring of kisses on your belly, then trail them down your thigh. Such strong legs you have, all tight, sculpted muscles and sinew. You're so gorgeous- I've no idea how I managed to get so lucky. But those strong legs are ticklish, if the touch is gentle enough. My fingers run up the inside of your thighs, teasingly rising higher and higher, then raking lightly with my nails as I skim my hands down again.

As I lean down to tease your navel with my tongue, my breasts come to rest on either side of your hardness where you lie trapped under the sheet. Your hips roll upward, and my eyes jump to your face in apprehension, only to see that your eyelids remain closed. Still sleeping you are- though your eyelids are flickering wildly. I rock my chest upward, letting you slide up between my breasts, then down. Forward and back I glide once more, my eyes locked to your face. On the final pass, as pull back to rest on my heels, the sheet catches and slides the rest of the way down, exposing you to my gaze at last.

A blush burns my skin as I admire what I've revealed. You are magnificent. That's all there is to it. I see you, standing straight and proud, and feel my mouth go dry. Slowly, I reach out to grasp you in my hands. So warm, so solid- like velvet-covered steel. Hard, but so very soft. I run a hand along the length of you, smoothing your skin, memorizing its texture with my fingertips. I can feel you jumping, twitching, in my hand, but still your eyes are closed. My hand curves around, encircling you within my grasp, holding gently. Almost of its own volition, my hand slides upward, rolling over the ridge, up over your velvety tip. You shudder once more, and my hand glides down again, squeezing softly. I reach to cup you with my other hand, my fingers tangling in your curls as I continue stroking you, loving the sound of your sleepy moans. Up and down, harder then softer. Gently now, then barely raking my nails down the side. A bit faster, or maybe slower. Your breathing is speeding up now; I can hear it coming in quick, harsh pants.

I can hardly believe you're still asleep, but I'm almost sure I know what will wake you now. Still holding you in my hand, rubbing my thumb over the very tip of you, I lean over and trail my hair across your belly. I slide lower, and lower, then lower until my lips hover just above you. I spend a moment there; breathing gently on the very tip of you, then flick the end of my tongue over your soft skin. I can see you jump this time! Leaning closer, I begin to lick tenderly, fluttering my tongue in a slow dance, all around you. The texture learned before with my fingers I now explore with my tongue. My tongue sweeps out to lap at you, up one side, down the other. Over the top, and all the way to the base. Circling you with my tongue, lapping around fast, then slow again. You taste slightly salty, maybe just a little bit sweet. I place soft kisses all along the underside, my teeth nipping ever so delicately here and there. My lips caress your length, sucking lightly as my tongue darts out to tease and twirl all around your sensitive skin. Your twitching is making me shiver now, though I feel hotter now than I ever have before.

Finally, I can't bear any more, and bend low to draw you deep inside my mouth. As I take you in and close my lips around you, your body spasms and shivers beneath my hands and my lips. Your hips thrust upward, shoving you into my throat. Oh, dear God- I can feel you throbbing in my mouth, all hot and hard, and all I want is more. I can't stop myself from sucking you deep, drawing you in further as I swirl my tongue around your thickness. Your body tenses and trembles again as I slide you in and out of my mouth, squeezing you tightly with my hand while I rub my tongue over you. As your shudder passes at length, I hear you make a sound- not a moan, barely a groan, almost a whimper. I glance up at your face, with you still hard and pulsing between my lips, my hand still encircling you firmly. I slide my tongue over your tip, under the ridge, circling ever around the head, but you're still not waking up completely. As I look into your eyes, I open my mouth and flick my tongue across you, but though your eyes are open, I can tell that you're not seeing, not really. Are you dreaming? I close my lips over you again, burying you in the warmth of my mouth, but I've had enough of this game. Finally, I give in and bite you gently, only softly at first, then just a bit harder- until your gorgeous eyes open and focus at last.

If I could say the words, now I'd tell you everything that I want. I'd tell you that I want to feel your blood pounding, your muscles bunching under my hands. How I want to hear your breathing, harsh and uneven in my ear. How I want your lips on my skin, your hands on my breasts. I'd tell you how much I want to feel you, inside me. How I want you, oh, how I want you, driving into me harder and faster!

But even now, after all I've done, I can't bring myself to say such things. The lady is too strong still. No matter how aroused, no matter how desperate or excited I may be, she's still there. I can't tell you what I want, how I feel. The very thought brings another flush of bright crimson to my skin. So instead, I pour everything I want into my eyes, hoping that you will see... and that you'll give me the words I need.