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Icewater and Sandwiches
A story by XXscribbler
She was going to die. Here and now. Literally. And in such a useless, incredibly stupid way! Tumbled violently in roiling, neck-deep icewater from some distant glacier. The forces on her were indescribable. Her nervous system was in shock, incapable of collecting information or providing instructions to muscles. There was a bottom to the stream, and sides, but no chance for a grip, nothing was stable, not even the direction from which she was being pummeled.
She was going to die. The tiny bit of her brain that wasn't overwhelmed with lack-of-air panic was busy composing her answer to Saint Pete's question: "I'm here, Sir, because of thermodynamics, buoyancy, and plate tectonics. Plus Murphy, of course." She could see the Saint's sardonic, disbelieving smirk already.
St. Pete would, of course, be pre-scientific, so she'd have to explain all that. What a bore! Thermodynamics because total immersion in icewater was already stripping her of body-heat. Try as it might, her internal engine couldn't heat this entire stream to 98.6°. A friend had once told her that survival time in freezing water was less than four minutes, if one didn't inhale the stuff from the shock of the immersion, in which case it was zero. She hadn't done that, at least. Not that it seemed likely to matter. Buoyancy because of her big, new, nearly-incompressible sleeping bag in its wonderful, completely-waterproof stuff-sack. That bag was fastened at the bottom of her backpack frame, and was now acting as a float, inconveniently holding her butt at the surface while forcing her head down into the water. A perfect, inverted Mae West lifejacket. Plate tectonics because those chunks of Earth's crust skating about had collided, and the plunging plate's friction caused Mount Rainier where she and her friends were camping. The Mountain had shrugged gently, just as she got to the middle of the log that bridged the stream in which she was now going to drown.
Just a joke by The Mountain. "Ha-Ha-who's-next?" Very funny! Murphy because without him (?her? - Important question! Why was Murphy always assumed to be male?), this concatenation could not have happened.
Surely she hadn't been in the water four minutes yet? She knew she couldn't hold her breath that long, and her lungs weren't filled with water. With that thought, the panic disappeared and she was bathed in a marvelous detachment. She studied her sensations: she was already far beyond cold, beyond really feeling anything at all from epidermal nerves. They were in deep shock.
Which way was up? She'd been chumed to the point her inner ear couldn't help any more. But it couldn't be more than about three or four feet to air, could it? Most likely her butt was exposed: too bad she couldn't breathe through her anus like some invertebrates. "That would be undignified!" passed through her mind.
Then BANG, something caught her squarely across the stomach, and she stopped while the water poured past, trying its damnedest to take her with it again. Her hands grabbed, found roughness, a big branch. She levered her body against the current, managed to raise her head, and broke through to the atmosphere, hauling in air to replace the overused stuff in her lungs. The world was full of great gasping sucking sounds, partly her breathing, partly the rushing waters. She clung there, her ability to think fading, and tried to decide how to proceed. It was very, very hard to think.
Other noises came to her through the roar of the water. She studied them: they had a familiarity. Voices? Yes, indeed. Her companions, shouting. Probably at her. Saying what? Hold on? Great advice! Of course, you silly shits, I'll be happy to oblige, at least until my muscles won't work any more, like say in thirty seconds? She looked about as best she could. There was the log she'd fallen from. God almighty, she'd only traveled about a hundred feet in the stream! From the neck down she was still underwater. Nothing waterproof about her clothes, they were sponges. And by now her pack wasn't just forty pounds, but probably three times that, full of ice-water. She doubted she would be able to stand with it if she were out on terra firma right now, just from the weight much less the cold.
More noises, and something tugging at her, from the side. Noises? More advice. "Let GO! TURN LOOSE!"
Did they think she was that stupid? Let go, indeed. Maybe she'd missed the initial word, surely it was "DON'T"'? She looked towards the voice: it was Matthew, knee-deep in the water, stretching to reach her. His pack was gone, and his parka. She studied his leg, the one in the water. The current made a foaming, gurgling wake downstream from his leg, like a pier piling in a tide. He was almost knee-deep, way over his boot-top. That was dumb, Matthew, she thought in slow motion... it's COLD, you'll fill the boot up and freeze your foot!
She watched, completely detached, as he strained towards her. That explained the tugging: he had ahold of the top rail of her pack-frame. On the bank behind him stood Mark, one hand around a branch of the tree she was snagged on, the other with a death-grip on Matthew's spare hand. The M&M's, they were known as, at work and socially. Her dulling mind seemed capable of inputting only one datum at a time now: she studied the mountain-rescue grip they were using, wrists overlapping. That was good.