I Wish... a Middle Aged Rant

I am enthralled with breasts.

I am certain that bigger is better. I have an auto-reflex to large breasts; I immediately think that women with large breasts are sexier and more sexual and better in bed.

I know that isn't necessarily true. But I still think it.

Women with small breasts reading this will probably get pissed and quit reading this. Sorry. Not really.

I married a woman with A cups. That makes no sense to me.

When I was young there was no internet and almost no porn. I used to jack off to JC Penney and Sears catalogs, the bra pages. Just like in "Something about Mary."

I was seventeen when I felt my first woman breast. It was fantastic. She was a B-cup. Nice. But I can't talk about that.

In college I dated a chick with absolutely no tits. We fucked once, but I could barely keep it up. She was pretty sexual, but the no tits thing bothered me.

She later got implants that looked kinda stupid.

I used to call in sick sometimes to work so I could stay home and rent porno movies of big-titted women while my wife was at work.

My record for jacking off to porno was 9 times in an 8-hour period. My cock was tired for a few days after that. I think that's a lot, maybe you don't.

The first porno I ever rented was "Holly Does Hollywood" with Christy Canyon and an Illegal actress of another name Traci L. This was in the mid-80s. Christy Canyon has D's or Double D's.

Christy Canyon could lick and even suck on her own nipples. That was in like the first 10 minutes of the film. I jerked off 3 times to that. I didn't know that was possible, women licking their own boobs.

I think women sucking on their own tits is fucking hot. It's the hottest visual in the world, in my opinion.

Models and porno actresses don't do enough with their tits. Mostly they just stand there or maybe squeeze them. They should always lick their tits, and suck them if they can. I get pissed when I see a fantastically breasted model just holding her tits. Suck them for god's sake. Do something, don't just stand there.

Christy Canyon wouldn't do facials though, or swallow cum. She would suck a cock right after it came, but she didn't do cum-in-the-mouth shots. She did later in her career, but not then.

I hate it when girls do the 'cum-dodge' thing. A guy is cumming, they shut their eyes, turn their heads, make faces... why are you in porn if you suck at sex.

Some chicks get cum on their tits, or maybe their face, they just sit there and look at it or watch it drip. Then they wave to the camera 'goodbye'. Fucking bitches. You should Eat that cum! Push it from your cheek into your mouth! Wipe it from your tiny tits into your hand and lick your hand. Or best of all, lick and suck the cum off your tits.

A guy eats your pussy for 15 minutes. His face is Covered in your personal juices. He's licking and swallowing the whole time. And you can't eat a little of his cum? Fuck you then.

I had an on-line affair once that went real-life. The only time I've ever physically cheated in 22 years of marriage. This was 12 years ago.

She was a bit of a BBW, which is sometimes okay if their heads don't get real fat. Her head was fine.

We were each married.

She liked sex. A lot. Maybe more than me.

She fell in love with me. I liked her but didn't love her.

Her husband was boring.

My wife was boring.

We would talk on the phone while I was at work and she was home with four kids. I would get a wet spot sometimes on my slacks from my pre-cum.

I jacked off sometimes in the men's room at work.

She had enormous tits.

She liked to suck her own tits. She told me so.

We met in Las Vegas and had 18 hours together.

We were in my hotel room.

She lifted her shirt and bra to reveal these fabulous tits.

I actually asked her if I could touch them. She thought that was funny.

We would get in tongue fights with her nipple, two tongues swirling around her rigid nipple. Fucking hot and wet. Saliva dripping from her mouth onto her nipple... each of us vying for our share of nip.

It was incredible to be sucking these fucking gigantic tits and look over and see her sucking on a tit also.

I fucked her crazy.

She came just by squeezing her cunt on my cock.

I withdrew before cumming and shot cum on her tits, then face and in her mouth.

She swallowed it all.

She took a tit in each hand and licked my cum off them.

Then she licked my cock clean. It was covered in pussy juice and had my cum remnants dripping out of it. She ate it all up.

I was so happy.

She let me rest an hour or so.

She slowly tit-fucked my cock. She could press her nipples so that each one was touching my cock. Then she ran her tongue around the head. Two nipples and a tongue all on my cock at the same time.

I blew another load into her mouth.

She swallowed the whole fucking thing and then kissed me. Mmmmmmmmm.

Later I fucked her in the ass just using her own pussy juice as lubricant. I didn't know that was possible. She was a dripper. Turns out that ass-fucking is really cool. Feels tight, but a little different. I want to fuck more women in their asses.

She was all over the pussy-to-mouth thing. She didn't do Ass-to-mouth. Back then, nobody had heard of it. She would probably do that today.

I would get my fingers wet from her cunt and wipe them on her tits. She licked her tits of her own cunt juice.

She squatted over my face so I could eat her out. Her shaven pussy oozed cunt drippings down my throat as I licked and licked and licked. She particularly liked it when I sucked on her cunt lips. I would try and suck all her cunt into my mouth. It was cool to look up and see these huge tits flying about as she wriggled and moaned.

She licked my face clean of her cunt juices.

We rented a porno in the room that featured big-titted girls. She liked watching that. Two of the scenes were lesbian scenes. I fucked her doggy style while she watched big titted lesbians eat each others cunts.

I came on her back. I scooped up my cum and smeared it on her face. Then I dragged my cock and balls over face. She frigged her pussy and came while I did this.

She had never had a lesbian experience back then. She probably has now.

She masturbated for me. I never saw a woman in person do that before.

I watched her pee in the toilet.

I peed on her leg in the shower. She screamed at me but she thought it was funny, too.

I drove her to the airport and we parked in a parking structure. She gave me a good-bye blow job. She called me from the airport restroom to tell me she was masturbating.

I couldn't get it up for my wife for 6 weeks. Combination of shame and wishing she was someone else.

You may think this is bullshit. It's not.

You may think it's all made up. It isn't.

My wife doesn't eat cum, or take it up the ass, or have big tits. Go figure. We had sex in May. It's now the end of July.

Last time I was in Vegas I went to an upscale strip club and paid $260 for a half hour in the champagne room with Sarah. Unlike most of the girls in there. She had natural tits. I'm not so fond of implants. Sometimes they look funny, and they get these funny ripples in them.

Sarah had c-cups. Naturals in case you skipped that part. In the champagne room the girls get topless and get right down on you. You can use your hands and some of the girls will let you use your mouth.

Sarah could lick her nipples.

I told her that was fucking hot. She licked them more.

She took my hands and put them on her breasts. They felt fantastically soft and smooth and squishy. Not like a bag of sand.

Sarah let me use my mouth. I sucked gently at first, then got a little more aggressive. She seemed to like it.

I was pleasant, a gentleman, but also very sexual. I talked to her and listened to what she had to say.

She gave me an extra ten minutes.

At the end, this beautiful, nearly naked girl is laying across me. Now, instead of just continuing to feel her up, I gently traced little lines and circles along her jawline, cheeks, face...

She sighed deeply.

She stood up to get her little clothes back on. As she was adjusting her panties, she slipped a finger inside her bottoms. Then held it to me so I could smell it.

This never happens, she said. I don't get all hot and bothered here. It's work. It's a chore. I fake it.

So come back to my hotel, I said. She almost said yes.

Instead she went back to stripper mode and asked if I couldn't do another dance. She pleaded with me, said she didn't want any more jerks tonight.

Come with me, I said again. I will take care of you. I'm not a jerk.

The floor boss came out and said it was time to go.

I was finishing my drink at the bar when several other women came up and wanted dances. Told them I was about to leave. I was down about 350 now with other dances.

Mandy walks up to me. She presses into me. Massive tits are crushing me. She licks and nibbles my ear. She hasn't said anything yet. She moans a little. She could sell sand to the fucking towel heads.

This is a game. I know. I'm not stupid. They don't really like me. The are working for money. These women wouldn't look twice at me in the light of day.

But I can't take it. I plead poverty. Doesn't work. She walks me to the ATM where I get another $300.

Another half an hour in the champagne room.

Except Mandy is even sexier than Sarah was. She could suck on her natural tits.

She tit-fucked me through my pants.

She bit my cock through my pants.

At one point I had to adjust my cock. I reached in to untangle him. My hand came out with lots of lube on it.

Put it on my nipple, she said. I did. I looked expectantly at her. She shook her head.

You do it, she said.

So I licked my own pre-cum off her nipple.

I took my ice cold drink and teased her nipples with it. They got so fucking hard I thought they were going to hurt me.

She let me spank her.

You can't touch pussies here, it's not allowed.

Although she said for an hour rate they get a better dark room and can do more stuff.

She would've dry humped until I came, but I said no, that's okay. I didn't want to cum in my pants. I had a meeting the next day and these were my pants.

I sucked on her tits so good though. She laughed at me when I told her I lived in A-Cup city and these D's were such a fantastic treat.

She kissed me on the lips. Not just a peck, but a nice kiss. She kissed me twice in fact. Strippers don't do that, do they?

She said I was the best and most appreciative customer yadda yadda... So come back to my room then.

Sure, she said.

But I would have to make a donation.

Of $1,000.

Let's see now.. I've paid over $600 so far and all I've gotten is to suck some tits and an offer of a dry hump. Now another thousand? Well I make a good living but not that good.

How fucking pathetic is that.

I have to pay women to rub their tits on me.

My wife rubs her tits on me. But she has a padded bra and these gel inserts. In clothes she looks like she's got C's going on. But they are A's. She rubs against me and feels like hard foam or soft rubber. I'm supposed to be turned on by that. Whoop de fucking doo.

I've had four other on line affairs. One was with a Charming Milkmaid who had g-cups and was lactating. I loved her. I really did. We only live about 75 miles from each other. But we never got together. I may write a fantasy story about her someday. She reads Literotica sometimes. Hiya Charming. Miss you. Find me. Read the next paragraph, you'll remember which one I am.

I used to pretend i was a lesbian so that I could talk to women in chat rooms. this was before mikes and cams were so prevalent. The gals would ask test questions like what's a speculum, or what's your panty hose size. (Guys, panty hose sizes are wierd, they aren't inches, they are letters... go to the store and find out). One gal was in love with my inner lesbian. I had to break it off when she wanted to talk on the phone. I never told her, didn't want her to feel foolish.

This isn't fantasy, though.

I have lost a job partly due to porno/sex chat. They didn't catch me or anything, I just did it so much when I was supposed to be working from home that my other stuff didn't get done. I shouldn't work from home as I have no discipline and will just get into sex trouble.

I'm writing this story today while working from home.

I fantasize about all the women around me. Even the ugly ones.

Sometimes I fantasize about raping a woman. Slapping her face and tits. Making her suck my cock and eat the fucking cum. Probably just want to punish my wife in some way.

I could never rape a woman in real life. Not real rape. Pretend rape, yes! Ooh baby... struggle for me... you can't get away... this fucking thing is going inside you... right... now... thrusting... throbbing... pulsating cock in your cunt as I molest your big fucking tits till they hurt... scream... holler... your ass yields to me as your cunt juice has dripped down your crack and is letting me in... I'll fuck your ass and fill it full of cum. Take it.

My wife is very good to me and the kids.

She just isn't all that interested in sex.

I'm 46. Full head of hair. Slightest touch of grey. Not fat. Nice looking. I cracked the 6 digit barrier a few years ago. I could be bagging wild women right now. But I won't let some other schmuck raise my kids.

When I see women with babies, I nearly freak out.

I wonder if they are breastfeeding. I wonder if their husbands like it. I know some don't. Faggits.

I know some women get so full that they actually have pains from not expelling milk.

How can I offer my services so that I don't get shot.

"Nice looking man will suck your milky tits for as long as you need. Please call 555-MILK"

I want to see a woman suck her tits and drink her own milk.

I want someone to worship my cum and not ever lose a drop of it.

I want to fall asleep with a big tit in my mouth.

I want to see a woman lick my cum off another womans big tits, then cum-kiss that same woman and they both swallow down my load.

I want what I missed out on by marrying too young.

I want some adventure. I want some spice. I want some fun.

Are you pretty? Do you have nice tits? Will you suck my cum? Can you come here now so I can fuck you? I'll take you if you're not pretty and have big tits. I'll take you if you're kinda overweight and have giant tits. I won't take you if you're 250 pounds and have tiny tits. Who wants that? I'm an asshole sometimes. Can't help it. Sperm build up, ya know.

I want a black woman. I want an asian woman. I want the blondest Scandinavian girl you ever saw. I want brunettes and redheads with green eyes. I want to sing brown eyed girl to someone and mean it.

My apologies to 9 Stone Cum Queen who writes totally hot stories and who I kind of copied her stream of consciousness style.

She's the Queen.

She is not here.

I'm fucked.