As I approach my 60th birthday, I have finally taken a few steps to live a healthier lifestyle. My doctor told me there would be many benefits.
As Mickey Mantle once said, "If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."
In addition to eating healthier foods, I've done a lot of walking. Maybe I'll work up to jogging, but so far walking has been great.
One night I got started a little late, on a cool night in the early fall. It was a little after 10 o'clock and I was walking past an apartment complex. There was a loud party going on and as I went by, a couple of girls in their early twenties staggered down the steps from the second story apartment and into the parking lot. Now, I don't know what phrases they use nowadays to describe "drunk as a skunk," but I'll just say these girls were smashed! They were both barefoot, carrying their shoes. Both were wearing miniskirts and loose fitting tops. One was tall and slender, with long blonde hair down to her waist. The other was about 5 foot 3 inches, not fat, but a little heavy set with black hair. She was fumbling with her keys, dropping them twice, and swearing up a storm because she couldn't unlock her car.
I was close enough to enjoy the view of her bending over to pick up her keys and also to speak to them without raising my voice.
"Don't you think you should find someone to drive you home?" I asked.
I was prepared for a rude, combative response and wasn't disappointed. She was already pissed and I became a target for her anger. Let's just say that she said they were fine.
But they weren't fine. While I didn't want them get get into any trouble, I also didn't want them getting behind the wheel. I was able to diffuse the situation and Shorty suddenly said, "Fine. You drive us home then. Then she threw the keys at me. My wife thinks it's sexy when I nonchalantly catch the keys or whatever she throws my way, so I naturally caught them as casually as I could, considering I wasn't expecting this development. I figured they would call one of their friends or something, and now here I was with the keys in my hand."