I Love Uber

One thing I have learned while is that the best stories come from the most unexpected sources. As you know, I just celebrated my birthday. I went to the movies and saw The Purge 2016: Election Year. Shortly thereafter, I took a Lyft to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Ocean Buffet. The driver was a young and quite pretty girl name Sonia. She pulled up in this BMW 530 that while a beautiful vehicle, it was very cramped in the front seat. I swear I thought a 5 series would have more space. I know at 6 foot 3 and 360 pounds I'm a big man but my knees were in the dashboard. I'm glad Sonia was eye candy as she took my mind off how cramped I felt in that front seat.

Dinner went well; the food was great as was the service. After paying for my food, I called for an Uber to return home. I was picked up by a pretty woman named Karen. She drove a Ford Fusion which had markedly more room than the BMW I rode to the restaurant in. I decided to have her take a longer road home to let my food digest and enjoy the view. She was short, somewhere between 5 feet and 5 foot 2, tremendously busty and petite. Our small talk let me know she was a mother of 2 and a grandmother of 2 as well. I told her she looked great to be a grandmother. She told me she was only 42. She married her high school sweetheart and got married in their first year of college. I told her I just turned 47 which was why I was getting a ride back home.

"Ok Richard, I must ask, why are you alone on your birthday? You're a handsome man."

"Karen, thank you. I'm alone because I am happily divorced and enjoy my solitude. I'm single and unattached and I'm just glad to do what I please without answering to anyone. I wasn't born a twin, so I can go anywhere I want without feeling lonely. Since I love myself, I don't need a companion to go anywhere. I'm just comfortable in my own skin."

"Wow. I don't think I expected that detailed of an answer. Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday, Richard?"

I may have been trippin, but I thought I saw a gleam in her eye.

"I got almost everything I wanted with 2 exceptions: A software I ordered has not been delivered yet and ..."

"And what, Richard?"

"Well, fuck it. Karen, they say a closed mouth doesn't get fed and I've been staring at your titties since I got in your car. I'm a boob man and they're sitting up real nice in that dress. Let me see them."

She pulled into my apartment complex and asked where my building was. I pointed to it and she parked on the side for visitors; away from the building.

"It is your birthday so I can do that for you, but I want you to touch them first."

WOW!! I didn't expect that, but I wasn't about to refuse her. I reached across the seat belt and grabbed her right breast and it was very firm.

"Very nice and firm, Karen. Can I see them now?"

"No, not yet. Let me close out this ride and log out of the Uber system. I'm not going to pull out my boobs in public. Can I use your restroom?

"Sure, not a problem."

So we exit her car and go up to my place. She goes in the bathroom and I'm so glad I cleaned it earlier. I would have hated to embarrass myself. As she comes out, I'm sitting in the bedroom on my bed. Gone was her blue dress from her body but it was replaced with a red towel from the bathroom closet. She handed me her dress and asked if I could hang it up. I took it and hung it up and as I turned to exit the closet, she was right under me. She had this shit eating grin on her face and I picked up her little 5 foot self. I almost tripped on my own feet, but landed on the bed with her on top of me. As the towel came loose, I got a clear view of her very firm breasts. It was obvious she had some worked done. I grabbed a handful of each and started to tongue and kiss both nipples. She sits up, rubbing her hands on my shirt covered chest and says,

"Look, I don't normally do this, but it's something about you that I like. I'm divorced and it's your birthday. I'm giving myself to you as a birthday present. I know you're single, so I'm not stepping on anyone's toes. I may not have cared anyway as I'm attached to nobody myself."

Holy Shit!! I promise you I couldn't dream this shit up. So here I am flat on my back in my bed, looking up at this certified MILF sitting on my crotch. She's 42, petite build with these firm DDs sitting on her chest. Karen was in great shape to be in her 40s and you can tell she exercised regularly. She looks like she was in a mature porn movie and I was about to be the lucky bastard to blow her back out.

"I see you like these puppies. Let's see if you like the rest of me."

She gets off my crotch as I remove my shirt. She then crawls up my body, pushes me back and removes my shorts and boxer briefs. She starts to kiss down my chest and down my stomach. She's caressing my balls and I'm getting aroused. I want to reach down and push her head down. She senses it or we're just on the same page and grabs my dick. I'm not hard yet so she engulfs it. She's massaging it with her tongue as I'm growing in her mouth. As I grow to full size, she licks up and down the shaft. I'm loving how she's making me feel. She's obviously skilled and knows what she's doing. She deep throats me and I feel my dickhead past her tonsils. I take it she has no gag reflex as she's giving me a throat massage that is out of this world!! I wanna hold this nut back but I feel she's determined to get it out of me!! Hell, it IS MY BIRTHDAY, so I'm going to relax and let her get this nut up out of my balls. She feels me getting close and takes her mouth off me.

"If I make you cum and swallow, can you get hard again and fuck my other 2 holes?"

"Hell yeah!! Most definitely, Karen. Suck away."

Damn, I'm so glad I ate a bunch of pineapple with my dinner and I cut out sodas!! As she's stroking my dick in her left hand, she sucks on my left nut. I feel my toes curl and my back arch. She pounced on my dick and her mouth made love to it. This felt like the best head in Texas!! I've been here in Texas over 20 years and had my share of head, but this felt truly top notch.

She increased her speed and I felt my orgasm shoot up from deep within the bottom of my balls. As she sensed me tensing up, she deep throated me and sucked the nut out of me until I was ready to tap out!! She sucked me until I was drained and deflated. My toes curled so hard I felt my feet cramp up!

"Do you have any Listerine?"

"Yes. It's right above the towels in the bathroom closet."

She goes into the restroom and I follow her. She has a small butt that is nice and very round. She reaches in the closet for the Listerine and takes a swig. I tower over her as I stand behind her. I take a swig myself and put my arms around her waist while swishing the Listerine in my mouth. As she spits in the sink, I look at this topless woman standing in front of me wrapped in my arms. I squeeze her tight then expel the Listerine from my own mouth. I can't wait to devour her little body.

We go back to my bed and she lays in my arms.

"Tell me something about yourself, Richard."

"I'm of Nigerian and Jamaican descent. Because of my tongue, I'm nicknamed the Lizard. Now Karen, tell me something about you."

"My paternal grandfather is black. That explains my tan. He was as dark as Wesley Snipes and very handsome. He was a big, strong man like you. He was the nicest man I've ever known. My dad is black and my mother is white. I said all that because I noticed you looking at me the whole way here."

"Yes, I was looking. Hell, you're gorgeous!! If a man says he wasn't looking at you when he was is either lying, gay or mad at you. You have a pretty face, your complexion makes a person at least question your ethnicity, and your boobs sit up so pretty I couldn't help but look!"

"You're so sweet. You're also good for my confidence, too!!"

She rolls on me and starts to rub my chest. She looks at me and as our eyes meet, we kiss. Our tongues are wrestling, she moves her hands to my crotch as my left hand goes to her nipple. My right hand navigates to her thong covered pussy. I feel something like a piercing near her clit. I rolled her over and removed her thong off her legs. I kissed her ankles, calves, knees and thighs on the way to the pierced prize; being her pussy. It was neatly trimmed like a landing strip. At the upper end of the landing strip was a tattoo of a heart. The other end of the landing strip, the business end, displayed a piercing that looked like a ring or much smaller version of a hoop earring. The pussy looked pretty as it was but for some reason the ring caused my mouth to water.

"Show me why you're called the Lizard. Let me feel your skills."

Based on how well she went down on me, I know I had to step it up. I kissed her inner right thigh, as close as I could get to her sweet center. I gently bit her and kissed some more, sucking the skin as if to give her a hicky. I moved to the other thigh, repeating the same thing. I kissed her clit and gave it a gentle suck before taking my mouth away from her most sensitive spot. I raised my head, I saw her eyes rolling in the back of her head. Damn, I just started and she's this receptive? I am going to have a blast!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! I moved her clit ring up and out of my way and teased her clit, kissing it. I let my fingers play with her engorged pussy lips. I've heard some people say things like 'they look like roast beef or it looks like that woman has been worn out' when a woman has fat or long inner pussy lips. Actually, women that have lips like that are more receptive in my opinion when it comes to sex. To me. It's a turn on seeing lips like those.

I kissed both of her lips and slid a finger in her. I curved the finger upwards aiming for her G-Spot. She squeezed my finger as if it was a dick. If I was so focused on making her get her orgasm, I would want to get in her and smash right now!! I stayed patient, and kept stroking her G Spot and licking her clit. I felt a tapping on top of my head. She started breathing heavier and the taps got harder. She was trying to tell me something; I think she wanted me to stop but I kept up the pressure. I sucked on her clit harder and she slapped me on my head!! As I moved away from the pussy, SHE SQUIRTED!! This wasn't a typical squirt, this was a gusher!! My chest got hit and I was definitely wet all over my torso. I dove back between her legs, determined to get her to come at least another 2 or 3 times. I dove back between her legs but this time, I stuck my tongue in her pussy. I felt the wetness and the moisture dripping out of her. I briefly went up to her clit, slid 2 fingers in her and then moved my index finger to her ass. I rolled her hips up and kissed both of her ass cheeks. I positioned my tongue on her clit and licked from her clit to her asshole. I used my spit and her wetness to lube her ass so I could attack her ass with my tongue and loosen her up for anal. I moved my fingers in and out of her; two in the pink, one in the stink. As I moved in and out I attached my mouth to her clit focusing on her next orgasm. I licked her clit and pumped both holes and felt her pussy squeeze my fingers. Whatever people say about older women not being tight has no knowledge of Kegel exercises. Karen clearly did them. I can't wait to get inside of her. I pulled my fingers out of her. The look on her face was pure shock.

"Why did you stop? I was so freaking close!! Damn you!!'

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Come sit on my face so I can make it up to you, baby."

I fell back and she sat on my crotch. I lifted her up and lowered her on my face.

"Damn, you're strong!!"

"You don't weigh that much."

"I actually weigh 130 pounds. I'm not that light."

"Oh but you are, Karen. You're light to me."

I adjusted her so my lips met her lower lips and I got back to work. I heard her say something or moan but I couldn't make it out. I was focused on her next orgasm. It's my birthday but as a gentleman I aim to please. I flicked my tongue against her clit ring and French kissed her clit. I caressed her clit with my tongue and did a log hog suck. I sucked on her clit until she shook then kissed it lightly multiple times. Her whole body shook and I placed my hands on her lower back to prevent her from falling back.

I rolled her off me to my left. I rolled her legs up, gave her one last lick from the bottom of her vagina to the top of her clit. I tapped her clit six times with the head of my dick before I entered her warm honey pot. I started with a few very shallow strokes and then went in deep. Her eyes got big as I hit bottom. She wasn't as deep as I thought she'd be but as I was developing a rhythm, she was gripping me oh so nicely. The feeling was so exquisite. I got up on my knees to change the angle and also play with her titties. They say more than a handful is a waste but I have some big ass hands. I was able to palm her breasts easily as I kept my stroking up.

"Let me get on top and ride you for your birthday, Birthday Boy!"

I simply smiled. Hell, who am I to tell her pretty ass no?

I laid back and she took my pussy juice coated dick in her mouth and rubbed her clit before sitting on me. She leaned forward, kissing me and working her hips slowly and agonizing. This was a beautiful torture. I pinched her nipples and told me to ride me faster. She sped up her pace and the feeling was pure bliss. She went on for a few minutes and began to tremble as she came again. She pulled herself off me and bent over motioning for me to get behind her. I sat up and got behind her. Before I entered her, I licked her asshole and it made her squirm.

"You want me there instead?"

"No honey, save that for absolutely last."

I kissed both of her ass cheeks (damn, they were so wonderfully round) and tugged on her clit then kissed it to make it feel better. I slid in and raised my left leg to get better leverage. I went in with a passion; using deep strokes. It felt as I was pushing her little body across the bed into the headboard. Oh my God, I doubt if I've have ever had birthday sex this good.

Working up a good sweat like doing cardio on an elliptical machine or a treadmill she asks me If I'm ready to switch up. I think I was in a daze at that point.

"Switch up to what?" I absentmindedly ask.

"Anal. Did you forget?"

"Damn, I may have. Your pussy is so good I would sing if I could."

While stroking she asks me what I'd sing. I'm thinking what I would sing then out of nowhere I start singing kind of off key Keith Sweat's 'Your Love"

"Your Love, is so good to me."

She starts laughing and her laughter starts to push me out of her pussy. I start to laugh along with her. I stop laughing to focus and stay in her.

"Never sing while having sex again. I have an idea. Put that big dick in my ass. I'm so ready to have it in my ass. I'm ready now."

I leaned over to the nightstand to grab a small jar that contained coconut oil. I dipped a finger in it and worked that finger in Karen's ass. I was able to slide my entire finger in her ass. Yeah, she's clearly ready to take me in. I smacked her left cheek and kissed her right cheek before lining up to enter her ass. The head seemed to be stuck at the entrance momentarily, but once it got past the spincter, the rest of my dick slid in rather easily. We got a pretty good pace going with relative ease. I tell you that coconut oil is some really good stuff. It's truly good for lubrication for masturbation or anal sex. It's natural and feels really good.

I'm knocking out the booty doggy style but I know I may not last much longer if I don't change positions. I go in balls deep and grab her waistline. I roll to my right taking her with me. I resumed stroking and this position took pressure off my knees. I continued like this for a few minutes. To be honest, I was amazed that I was going this long. I reached to her clit and started rubbing it. I must have touched her at the right time because it didn't take long until she came again, squirting too. I know I'm gonna have to wash my sheets after this encounter. This is the third or fourth time she has squirted on my bed. Please don't think I'm complaining. This is merely an observation.

"Pull out. I want to get on top."

I didn't want to pull out because she felt so good. I rotated our bodies until I was in a seated position with me still in her anally. I'm glad I was strong enough to pull it off. Rotating from doggy style to reverse cowgirl is not the easiest thing to do but it is damn sure worth it!! I'm having the wonderful view of having that nice round ass just moving up and down, round and round, seeing my dick peek out from her as her lovely ass is moving. I lay flat to enjoy the view and she's throwing her ass now. She's really working it now. She's able to see my legs in front of her and my toes curling up. That seemed to amp her up.

"You like how I'm throwing this ass, birthday boy? Tell me do you really like it?"

"Yes, yes I do. It feels so incredibly outstanding."

She speeds up her motion. She twerking with my dick in her ass. Holy shit!!

"You like that, huh? You like that?"

Why did I get a quick vision of the Redskins quarterback saying that same thing? It was actually his catchphrase. It kind of helped me not get my orgasm and not shoot in her ass. She had me feeling so good that I thought I was going to be looking for her in the daytime with a flashlight. I slapped her right ass cheek hard, then her left cheek even harder. That flipped a switch in her and she went faster. She is truly throwing her ass. This was reminding me of something from Booty Talk 69 or something. I felt my mind and body was turning into mush at the moment.

"I'm gonna make you cum. You don't have a choice. You are going to fill my ass."

She reaches down and caresses my balls while shaking her ass while I am balls deep in her. I swear this has to be my best anal experience EVER!!

"Come on birthday boy, fill my ass up with your cum. Shoot all of it up In me. Fill me up baby, I'm ready to receive it. Shoot it."

She bends all the way forward and grabs my ankles while moving her ass. I can sense that the end is absolutely near. Holy crap, this feels really good. She sat back up, reached for my balls one last time and BAM!! That was it. It was all over for me as I felt my sperm leave my body and arriving it the final destination being her bowels. I felt six shots go in her and once she felt my body no longer move, she got up from me. A big glop (is that a word?) of cum dropped out of her ass grazing my balls before ending up on the bed.

She turned herself around and laid on my chest.

"Has this been a good enough present for you?

"Hell yeah!! I don't even know what could top this at this point. Karen this has been really great."

"Good, I have enjoyed myself too. I need to get up and prepare to leave. What do you have to drink?"

"I have orange juice, cranberry juice, vodka and moscato. Which would you like?"

I bet she says moscato. She has to drive.

"Moscato. I have to drive. Even if I take no more drives, I still have to get home."

I got up and wrapped a towel around me and went to the kitchen. Karen went to the bathroom to get herself cleaned up. After pouring the wine into glasses, I went toward the bathroom. The door was locked. I knocked but she didn't answer. I put the glasses in the freezer. I knocked again.

"Karen, are you ok?"

"Yes, I am ok. I can't let you in right now because I won't leave. Being next to you feels really good. Let me freshen up."

"Ok, no problem."

I heard the shower running. I won't lie, I wanted to touch her sexy ass again but I do respect the fact that she had to go.

Fifteen minutes later, she exited the bathroom with the towel wrapped around her. She went into my bedroom and got dressed. I got the wine out of the freezer and went to my bedroom. She saw me and turned her back to me. She turned around again and I handed her the glasses. She turned once more and I zipped up her dress. She handed me my drink and she made a toast.